All Comments on 'I Married and Found My Mother'

You lost me in the first sentence.

Men and women, or male and female.

Man or woman?

Get an editor.

You have a better chance of meeting an incestual couple than this ever happening. Lacks realism. *

I'm not going to get to deep into the grammar and spelling errors, but other are right you need an editor. Honestly I found your style choices to be the problem that really drags down the story. Firist you announce what could have be the twist of the story in the title and first sentence, why do that? Why not instead create a sense of mystery in the beginning and later reveal it as the twist. It's not the most original twist on this site but it would still give the story tension which it completely lacked.

The second big style problem is you tell the reader what happening rather than show the reader what's happening You just have narrator just tell the whole story as a matter of fact. You barely provide description, you included almost no actual dialogue, and rush through each plot point. Upon finding out he was her son you basically say they are upset but realize they should still stay married, but it would have been much better to hear the characters discuss that revelation. To actually experience their moment of anguish, not just be told about it.

I hope my feedback is constructive for you. Keep writing anf you will get better. Every story is a chance to learn the skill.

There have been mass extinction events in the past, & that is indicated by genetic bottlenecks in DNA. you may say that an african is very different from a caucasian, but genetically the difference is very very small. scientists are now putting forth a num 5000 may have been the humans who survived the extinctions event & all the present day people are their descendants.

assured and assuaged are not the same. Spell checkers are very questionable in their accuracy.

Excellent story, please tell the anonymous cowards to piss off. If you're going to be a critic you could at least have the guts to leave your name for a contact rebuttal. Anonymous comments should not be allowed. If you want to comment you should be required to sign in, it's only fair. It's a good story don't change a thing.

To gaynudist50,

I welcome your comments.

Those others who pass unwarranted comments never realized there are a variety of writing styles. I have my own. So be it if mine is not up to their expectation. Even great writers differ from each other in the manner they write. They will find out if they read widely.

My stance is agree to disagree.

My suggestion to them to spend their time contributing stories instead of commenting. So all of us can learn from their expertise.

it needs lengthening, you also need a good editor, for in some parts your style of writing shows that English is Not your native language, and a good editor would make the story "flow" a bit easier..

Were you being chased by a bear when you wrote this short "memo"? It's too short, lacks details, and full of typos and incomplete thoughts. 1/5

no surprise that this profile is banned