All Comments on 'I Need It'

YOU HAVE A LOT TO FIX, AS YOU SEE THE COMMENTS. THEY ARE CORRECT YOU RUSHED THE ENDING AFTER SUCH A GOOD BEGINNING. MAKE YOUR ENDING AS GOOD A YOUR BEGINNING AND YOU WILL GET BETTER FEEDBACK. THEN YOU WILL SEE THE WAY TO WRITE A BETTER STORY. AS YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO CRAWL, LONG BEFORE TAKE THE FIRST STEP, OR WALK.

YOU HAVE A LOT TO FIX, AS YOU SEE THE COMMENTS. THEY ARE CORRECT YOU RUSHED THE ENDING AFTER SUCH A GOOD BEGINNING. MAKE YOUR ENDING AS GOOD A YOUR BEGINNING AND YOU WILL GET BETTER FEEDBACK. THEN YOU WILL SEE THE WAY TO WRITE A BETTER STORY. AS YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO CRAWL, LONG BEFORE TAKE THE FIRST STEP, OR WALK.

I think that the story was effectivly the outline of what could be a great story, but was far to sparce in its original form the characters need expanding and their relationship, I am sure that with some work this could be great.

That was tough to read. You need to understand the difference between your and you're. Poorly written but with good intent. You NEED some help with your writing.

Wasn't the ending a little abrupt? It was more like the ending of a page, instead of a chapter. So, pick it back up, so we can see what happens.