by DiggerDave
this is the worst story i have ever read. you should give up writing and go into a different hobby, try trash collecting you stupid whore
not to be mean but since when does a security guard just randomly come into your room and after searching you, starts fondling you? let alone the same exact person out of the whole school that the girl liked, very pathetic
Honestly, 2 things i would like to say.
1. the story may not be the best but it does paint some images, sadly not enough.. my advice is simple, abandon any hopes about this story and next time take a longer time to actually write out a more detailed and better researched one.
the thing about the security guard searching you kinda ruined it for me, even though it was just a fantasy.
secondly, Don't let anyone tell you your story isn't good enough, Do not let them tell you your writing skill sucks and to just get a different hobby. the people who say this probably haven't even written a legitimate story in their life. I just wrote my first story, i think it needs major improvement, but i still think its pretty good. but do you know why i think that. Because i have passion about it. now you may or may not have that with your story, if not i suggest you abandon this story as i said or if you do have passion for jane then i suggest you rediscover that lost passion for her, assuming shes real of course.