All Comments on 'Ibiza Holiday'

There is the germ of a hot story here.

Sadly, the writing shoots it down. There are misspellings, run-on sentences, statements that either make no sense or are never explained, and generally lack of skill.

There are editors here who can help. This story needs some help in the worst way.

While I will somewhat agree with "Anon" that an editor would have helped in shaping up the structure of this story, I do not agree with the trolls in any other respect.

This story was hot and very sexy. I enjoyed the content very much! Of course, as is discussed in various author's corners of the BB, it seems many readers in Loving Wives are self haters who have nothing better to do than run down a story! It has also been discussed by many authors that D/s is oftentimes found within the Loving Wife genre.

:)

Keep up the good work Ron! (And maybe consult an editor to check out the finished product.)

now what would the silly bitch have done if he was totally repulsed by such actions and he had just walked out on them. He let his anger rule and whipped a woman all over her body including her face. Did he consider what the husband would think when he returned to the room? Did he consider AIDS and other such diseases that run widely in such groups of people. Use her abuse her then make love to me then she offers herself up for abuse. Both girls are pain sluts and by the way it reads this was a setup from get go. She knew Rebecca from previous trips probably and this was an arranged meeting.

How would it feel to be totally in love with your woman and find out she is a pain slut with a totally slutty life. Safe Sane Consensual sex preagreed by husband and wife is one thing. This is just manipulation of one by the other for their own enjoyment. A self loving, self important, egotistical woman who wants to control and manipulate her mate, while being very disrespectful (see how she treated him when he did not do what she wanted) and as disloyal and conniving (lying she did set this up) as one can be. Enjoy all their asses and get a divorce upon getting home it is the best way out. Her self needs will ruin you if you dont.

Yes I need an editor any want to offer?

Yes the whole thing was a set up. I have another 7 chapters waiting to go!

The rambling sentences were deliberate. I wanted to evoke the confusion going through the poor mans mind as his wife led him into this bizare situation.

My spell checker did not find any miss-spelled words but then I am using an English dictonary for what is an English story!

Married to a chameleon who now wants a love - change that to a beating after her BDSM session with someone she didn't seem to know which was preceeded by her trying to pimp him out to any warm hole possible? HUH?

What the hell is this story about? A bunch of psycho perverts trapped in a funny farm? Helter skelter whom and where?

Writer - your foundation is now twisted and contorted and no one cares if it just a suck and fuck but now enters the BDSM - can pissing, watching and other fetishes be far in hind? Where are you going and where should it be subjectwise?

nicely descriptive, but I would like more dialog between characters.

I skipped a bunch as not worth my time reading.

Well if you did not bother to read the story, your opinion is worthless. If you feel you need to trash the stories you should at least give the author the courtesy of a complete reading

"...Believe it or not, I was a virgin when I got married to Jennifer and I knew she was not! We had courted for two years..."

Oh man, you have a confusion in your mind! Use a beach in South Carolina or in North Florida for these stories;Ibiza is totally a different thing!

IBIZA: "the crowds of tourists at Ibiza are sophisticated, hip, rich, young, and beautiful. You won't find Mom and Pop snapping Polaroid."

You went totally off the rails when you used the riding crop.