All Comments on 'Identical Twins and Father Ch. 01'

This was godawful!

Much to do about nothing.

A good editor is required before any future chapters are submitted. One glaring thing is the frequency and use of "word - word, and word -- word," when the proper indictor of a pause is the simple coma. The author therefore needs an editor to remove and do a decent spell check and proof read the story.

Like the story line, but you really need to proof read. Also you took a lot of words to describe very little action. Looking forward to the next chapter. The storyline is good.

They don't charge you by the word here, you know. Your style of writing was just confusing.

Only two snorts. You're falling back.

That was excruciating to read. What a mess.

sweet god why?!!!!

Not enough snorts and 'hmm-hmms' to give me a giggle, and the dialogue was just painful, like slowly shoving a wire into my eye. Please stop inflicting yourself on us, the human frame can only take so much abuse.

Plodding? Absolutely not! It was subtle and erotic...Would have enjoyed consummation, but I can wait...

Too robotic