All Comments on 'Identity Pt. 02'

Love it!!!!! Was waiting on this update!!!!

Here's a piece of unsolicited advice: Get rid of the complete Spanish sentences. Setting the tone with the occasional word and/or phrase is fine, but the 'common' language of this story is English, so it's kinda jarring to suddenly have people switch to another language.

You didn't do it too much (only once or twice) but whenever I came across a Spanish sentence I ran off to Google Translate... which kinda interrupts the flow of the story. ;-)

I get that the story is set in a Spanish-speaking country and that you're giving us a 'translation' of the Spanish dialogue; but it's like if someone translated Shakespeare into German but felt the need to leave a couple of paragraphs in Olde English just in order to remind people that this was not a German story..... eh, I hope you get what I'm trying to say.

Anyway, I hope I won't have to wait another two years for a Part III of your story. :-D

Someone suggested that you should get rid of some of the all-Spanish sentences. I heartily disagree. I think it adds remarkable depth and sets the tone of the story perfectly.

Instead, I would suggest publishing two versions of each chapter; one with the Spanish intact, and one with it translated and italicized, perhaps adding "in Spanish" to the clause which identifies the speaker. For example, after witnessing something astonishing, something like "Gabriella's eyes widened. "My God..." the words fell from her lips in her native Spanish"

please moree! we are dying here .. and alil action if u knw wat i mean.. :P

Loving the story!!!!! Please finish it!

Is there going to be a next chapter?