All Comments on 'I'm the Man of the House Ch. 03'

Good theme, however very stilted writing. Steak (meat) is not spelled stake.

Enjoyed the swapping rings an there first night. Hopping to see this couple go on a date and be totally free. In time going for a week at a close optional retreated, she tell him, she off the pill and enjoy her as he likes, dress as he likes her too an not hold back, as he pushes in deeper each night.

Don't worry about the negative comments that them and get better. I assume English is a second language for you? Either way you can create a very interesting story so just work on your technical skills and it will only get better. Can't wait for your next installment.

Still to many Then's and long sentences You had a 8 line sentence and a four line sentence with three then's. Drop the word then and use the next as first word of your next sentence.

I agree with first comment far too many I then, then and then I. Get someone to proof read, before posting. other than that great story.

Unless you stop and listen too all those so called NEGATIVE comments we are giving you things won't change. You yourself ask for ours comments and we gladly pass on our words of wisdom to you WHY, not to shit pick or to belittle you but to help you become a better writer.. Think on it...Get a fucking EDITOR , all great writers on this site have ONE....

Kookaburra8, you are far more annoying than all of the mistakes in all of his stories combined. You've been on a rampage, tearing apart story after story. Enough already. If you don't like his work, stop reading it. It's a pretty simple concept.

In response to your comment, yes seriously.. when I start reading a story whether two chapter or fourty, I read from start to finish irrespective if the story is brilliant or mediocre like this one is. Whether you agree or not. Clearly you find my comments too harsh I certainly hope you wrote to all the others who also share my point of view.

I certainly don't think your comments were too harsh, if fact I agree with what you says as do others who have left virtually the same comments as you along the way. Clearly this mad Irishman as a bone to pick with you, unfortunately he can't distinguish the difference between constructive criticism or that of being an arsehole. Isn't it ironic that he's the one being defensive and not the author..seems HW1956 doesn't give a shit either way...I too gave ⭐️⭐️⭐️