All Comments on 'Imperius Ch. 02'

This has all the makings of a good story. I really hope you continue it!

fascinating, filled with possibilities. can't wait to see it all develop.

Well written. Plot moves quickly. Hope you continue this story.

The mention of a tablet gave me a jolt, as I had assumed we were in the past, not in a post-war future/alternative present. It would have been better if that scene had been set in the first chapter.

Regardless, I like both characters and I'm looking forward to more. I hope you can post regularly, if not frequently.

The previous chapter talked about spaceships, so it couldn't be the past.

I hope she figures out how to earn her freedom, resenting hI'm the whole time. But he falls more and more in love with her. Also, there has been no mention of birth control. I hope he neutralizes whatever form she had and makes her preggers. This story has grand possibilities.

I reread the first chapter to refresh my memory and I'm glad I did. Not just because I needed the refreshing but also because going directly into this chapter kept the imagery fresh in my mind. The way you described Magnus; "His eyes were the color of storm clouds, with all the ominous magnificence of a hurricane on the horizon" struck me, once again during this second read through, as perfection. Really, just perfection because it does more than describe the color of his blue eyes it describes the attitude he adopts, how he holds himself, how he relates to the world around him and even more importantly, how one feels standing in his presence and being the subject of his focus.

And this "There was something of the surreal in the silence of that moment. Like standing in an empty city street during midday" again so absolutely perfect asit describes how something as innocuous as making silent eye contact can feel profound and out of place, causing one to go on alert for approaching danger or spot other trouble signs.

You are letting us know a great deal about Magnus but not so much about Lilah other than external clues and I love that! Being female, you being female, guessing the majority of your readers are female, we know how we would feel given the circumstances. Lilah's feelings on being enslaved, on being fucked against the wall (yes please!) and on anything else happening to her aren't really what is driving this story. Magnus is driving this story and I think Magnus is fascinating.

When I saw this was only one Lit page I was braced for disappointment. But you actually got some things explained about this world and about Lilah. However I caution you to ensure each submission moves the story forward and is not just giving more contextual details surrounding the story. I, personally, tend to lose interest when stories fail to continue to move forward sufficiently. For me it is as frustrating as having popcorn for dinner.

You're able to tell this story using 3rd person objective and I thank you for that because I am soooooooooo sick and tired of "writers" who can't write outside of first person! Ugh ugh ugh ugh!

You have a real talent, a real and true talent for writing.

The story is of to a great start but perhaps try to lengthen the chapters, especially if there's a long break in between updates. There were a few typos: capitalization mostly but other than that the story was good

The story is gripping me so far and it is well written.

Please keep writing, look forward to the next chapter.

Thank you very much for your generous, constructive feedback. I definitely do hope to give the plot a speed boost in my next installment. The world has grown and developed in my sense of it during the process of writing the story so far, that I really hope I'm able to convey that within the text. Please, continue to give me any advice and critiques that you think will help me improve as they come to you.

He dominates!!:)) but there is such a loving passion fountain in it all!!:))so wow!!:))dunno if with time they will get more inseparable,or drift apart.....but I am sure many of us readers love to bask in the warm and pleasant passionate domination in each of your chapters!!:))

No wonder your lit bio reads 'happy to be his'!!:))And here is a tiny snippet not exactly related to your lit work!!:)) if that is your own photo in the lit bio isn't it sensual and pretty?!:)) you could well craft one of your non con heroines on your own looks!! :)) that will be one helluva story!! :))

No new "chapters" this story is either going to be painfully slow or its already dead in the water. Typical, thanks literotica.

.....for this exceptional story. Your talent has attracted the deserved comments of several talented writers in their own right -- although would disagree with some comments. As I said ref the first chapter, Magnus may be the driving force of the story -- now -- but foresee Lilah coming to exercise her will through his power as their complex relationship evolves. And, as for most of your readers probably being women? Sexist absurdity.

Yet, have to say that as rewarding as the high quality of your writing and visual phrasing is, it does not deserve the number typos in the text. Just a thought.

Living this story so far..can't wait for the next chapters. Please don't keep us waiting too long!

The minute I think he's going soft on her he changes gears and goes back. I can see the foundations for something else but he's still the bad guy. And I do love a good bad guy :)

I don't get it. He's supposedly has been searching for her for some time and now he finally has her completely under his control. For someone seemingly so enraptured as Maxim is with Lilah he doesn't seem in any hurry to explore her body. At least this chapter he found her clit. Maybe next chapter he'll discover her breasts. I guess I've just been extremely blessed with partners who genuinely seemed interested in exploring every eroginous zone they could find and Visa versa. I still can't get over the first encounter where he just plowed right in after barely a kiss or a touch. If I were him I'd have her laid out like a buffet and gorge myself all day sampling each and every course from appetizer to dessert learning all her little tells.

Love the mix of ownership and affection. Please continue.

Lol... i don’t care. Kinda savage in its own way.

"I didnt help you, I saved your life".

Yeah, know what "I dont care"

Let me rape you, since Im alive now. Your fault to have saved my life. LOL!

'I don't care.' -All is fair in love and war.

Excellent! I love the weaving in of meritocracy. It really enriched the story!

Such an Alpha.

I like the last line alot. He didn't get to his position by caring, he’s ruthless in war and just because he has feeling for her doesnt mean he’ll put her needs before him. If he hadnt taken her she would have been a slave to someone else. I hope you finish this.