In My Skin: So It Begins

Its been too long. All of college. We went from seeing each other nearly every day, to not seeing each other at all. I would say that things got ugly, but that would make me melodramatic. That would mean that would have actually had to talk to each other about parting ways. I just stopped hearing from him. I've gone over everything in my head about a million times, to try to find something that I've done wrong. Nothing. I have no clue what I could have done wrong. But I was always entirely hesitant about our relationship to face it head on. He was my best friend. But things were more serious than that, and we both knew it.

Now I could potentially be his superior. So I need to muster all of my strength to be at least somewhat impartial today. I know that it will be a struggle when it's been so long that I've seen him. All too soon Rosa informs me that he's arrived. Of course he's early. I find that I'm far too nervous to retrieve him myself as I would normally insist on. So I send Alice to fetch him for me. I tell her to make an excuse for me.

She doesn't ask questions, and heads out of my office to do as she's told. She's so good at her job. I may keep this one.

I press my clammy palms into my thighs to dry them. I count to ten and take a couple deep breaths. The ding if the elevator sends my heart to my mouth.

I press my clammy palms into my thighs to dry them. I count to ten and take a couple deep breaths. I close my eyes and attempt to calm my heart, which is suddenly resting on my tongue. My computer informs me that the elevator has stopped on my floor. My fears are now staring me right in the face, and I can't run.

It's time to turn on the charm.

The handle to my office door turns quite hesitantly. I go to stand as the door opens, but the second that I see his face I am frozen into place.

He's still so beautiful. Age has done nothing but improve his features. I thought that I'd had his face committed to memory, but my mind's eye has done him no justice. I force myself to recover as quickly as I can, and stand. His eyes- which were scanning my vast office- quickly snap to where I am standing. His eyes then just as quickly widen like a dear in headlights. It was to be expected. How was he to know that I worked here, or that I'd be interviewing him for that matter? I keep my name out of the news. I couldn't stand to be in the spotlight the way that Monroe is. So Remmy's surprise is nothing that I wasn't prepared for. However, the look of pain that he quickly masks is something that I wasn't at all prepared for.

Maybe this was a terrible idea.

Its rather late for me to come to this conclusion as he squares his shoulders and makes his way farther into my office. I take not of the way that he doesn't completely bring the door shut behind him, so that Alice can hear every word that we say at normal speaking volume. He shouldn't be scared. I have every intention of keeping this meeting completely professional.

I extend my preferred hand to prove this point, and he eyes it skeptically. I'm determined to keep it strictly business, but I honestly am powerless to this man. The second that his hand touches mine, I am weak, "Remmy." I cant fight my smile.

And in spite of the fear and pain that were on his face only a few seconds prior, a shy grin tugs at his lips at the sound of my personal nickname for him, "Jacks."

My eyes fall onto his mouth and my memory betrays me. And just like that, I'm done for.