by morbidbutterfly
that was a great story. sounds like you may have actually expierienced this. hope to hear more from a great writer like you.
The story was well written and having the two voices weave the story like that was a grat idea. Unfortunately, it wasn't formatted properly and so it confused rather than enhanced the story. Also, a little more time spent on the actual acts would have been great. The fantasy being finally fulfilled deserved a little more time and detail.
However, it's a great first effort and I look forward to more of your work!
- JT
Seems like this is a fantasy you have worked on in class. A first submission this is great. You could have spent a bit more time on the desire side, seeing him in class, him seeing you buidling up for the denoument/taking. In that regard it was good temptations make it all the more real. Follow up w/ a meeting after a dance or school event/prom etc. be more descriptive of the bodily actions and appearances.