All Comments on 'In the Hallway'

A great build up, well paced and structured

Clearly the start of a series. Hopefully the standard will be maintained

Wonderful pace, perfect amount of detail. Titilating and draws you in for more. I'm hoping this becomes the first of many as I'd love to read what happens next.

Very nice - well crafted, not over done, well developed characters. In a tight time frame you deal with romance, discovery, and sex very nicely. Both Janna and Tom are credible characters and it would be fun to see them evolve - perhaps like most of us they each have both a dominant and submissive side and you could explore that without getting extreme? By far the best of your work so far.

I enjoyed this story a lot. I like the way you alternated between what Tom was feeling and thinking and what Janna was thinking and feeling. Your writing and descriptions are compelling. I do wonder if Tom and Janna will like each other once they get to know each other and get beyond the beginning lust stage of their relationship. Five stars from me, and I'd give it six if that were an option.

I've been reading Literotica stories for several years and I've only rated one to date. This story was an outstanding read. Thanks for sharing your skill. Definitely 5 stars.

phalkor

I enjoyed this a great deal. The writing is good, the story understated and tastefully executed. I look forward to reading your other works.

This story need at least a second chapter.

Some hints: blind encounters, internet showing, moresome with strangers, ...

Of course she should have to be somehow protected (masked ?) living like a double life.

Hope to see new adventures for these realistic characters.

Stories in this genre are too often overdone and cloaked in stereotypes. Yours here, however...so subtly layered, yet detailed in the reality of what could be an actual, face-to-face encounter. And your character development is superb. I was completely pulled in to your writing. Thanks for the well-written crafting.

Please write additional chapters. This story has so much potentional.

I think this burgeoning relationship between Jenna and Tom, has real depth. As most have commented, this storyline has real legs. More of them please.

P.s. Maybe Marie could barge in on them, and Tom dominate her too.

Great story, well written and believable. Too many in this category go overboard/ too insane but this was perfect. Might I suggest some bondage and more exhibition games.

I've been meaning to get over here and check out some of your work, and I'm so glad I did. This is just excellent. Great pacing, believable in ever way and lovingly erotic. As others have said, BDSM can so easily end up being more of a stage act than true intimate relationship, but you truly brought it down to real life. Loved the way you explored the insecurities most people struggle with...and at least one technique for pushing through them. I certainly enjoyed this peek into your mind, and echo the call for more.

... thank You. Great real life scenario, believable and fun as well.

Your story is my first read in this section. I quit enjoyed it. I'll definitly read your other stories.

I like seing both side of the caracters pushing through their insecurity and letting go, reveling their real desire.

I have come to the realization lately that it sometime feels easier to say no, or I guess I should say that thats the feeling it gave me. Saying no can be some what of an illusion of protecting one self. But thats all it is...an illusion, pushing away from through desire. So I have decided to start saying yes and embrace my inner slutinous.

Reading this just happens to arrive at the right time. :)

Josie

loved your pace in telling this tale. It was not unlike climbing a mountain---all right a hill---and finding oneself huffing and puffing at the climax.

Very well done. You should try more in this vein, or any other vein you choose, for you gather your materials the way first rate authors do and present your tale in a most orderly fashion.

As one author to another, keep up the good work. Please!

That was good, Simon!

Not just the story line and plot, but the suspense, trying to figure out what would happen next. Edge-of-seat would not be an exaggeration.

Well done!

Great story, well written and well paced. I certainly hope we will read more of Tom and Janna.

But when it came time to fuck her it all happened much too fast.

He didn't have her do anything erotic -- just an immediate fuck.

He didn't make her touch herself. He didn't make her show him her breasts. He didn't have her tell him how horny she was. He didn't ask her any questions and require answers. he didn't touch or finger her -- pussy or ass. He didn't get her so hot she begged for release.

Just an unimpressive fuck.

"How does a girl get more sex?"

Google: About 2.410.000.000 results (0,55 seconds)

A little more than the 117,000 in the story :P

Amazing. Sensual, erotic, thrilling; you maintained the perfect pace in telling this story and the ending did not disappoint.

The plot is excellent. Original. Had my attention from the first line to the last. And that last line was perfect. And only three words. Bravo!

Excellent story. Well thought our, written and paced. Loved it.

Excellent ! Loved your story , very erotic and sexy. More chapters please.

An excellent story and lesson. It is true, however, that a lot of people "just say yes" to the wrong person. And then... They blame themselves for saying yes, when they should instead blame the person for being wrong. Say yes, hope for a good person, blame them if they are wrong, and say yes again. The right love will be there eventually, and then you can reward them for the rest of your life. It worked for me; she said yes and I learned to be right.

it’s about control. It’s about one person, male or female, giving control to another person, male or female. The dominant does not take control, that would be non consent, and it’s an important point to realise. In getting that across in the story you were successful.

As for reading the story, which at 5 pages I guess is about 17k words, I got to the end of the first page thinking, “this is a long build up,” and by the end of the second page wondering “where is this actually going?” I must admit I then skimmed the final three pages just so I could say I had, to some extent, read the story.

Pleasure in doing something is always subjective and I realise my appreciation of the story is out of step with many other readers but I can only be honest. I haven’t voted on it because I genuinely don’t feel it’s worth a 5, or even a 4. I never vote 1 or 2 and I’m not going to drag down the voting, although it might not have any effect anyway depending on how many votes have been cast, by voting 3.

I think it just wasn’t my cup of tea. Sorry.

Good premise.

The amazingly long buildup was well done. But the sex wasn't. Too abrupt. Too fast. No need for her to strip naked while waiting for him. There needed to be a whole series of steps where he told her to do this, then that, then something more, and then even more. That could have involved her taking her clothes off one piece at a time. It could have involved her following his instructions to touch herself. It could have involved her telling him to feel his cock through his pants. Opening his fly. Pulling it out. Touching it. Describing to him how she felt doing it. And more. Long before cock entered pussy.

Had the potential to be five stars. Didn't deliver. Four stars.

Very well thought out and written with great characters, buildup, angst and finally sex. I look forward to reading more of your work. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.

Ok read. I expected more with that premise (the 2 mirror websites was an excellent idea). I like more dialogue and less inner monologue. Show me, don't tell me. As a "sex with a stranger", it works, but as BDSM, nope. There needs to be discussions before anything happens: Limits, triggers, safeword, contraception and STI status etc.