All Comments on 'In The Night Garden Pt. 06'

After two years. An amazing chapter, although short, I feel like you are just leading it up to a very juicy chapter! I really like those two togethers, and thank you for continuing this story. I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!

Oh my god, yes! After two long years, you've come back! I can't wait for this story to continue.

Hi guys! So yes I'm back! So sorry for the two year wait, another chapter is being approved as we speak so should hopefully be up within the next day or so...Hope you enjoy ;) xxx

Well, can't please 'em all I guess! Thanks for taking the time to read and leave your feedback though ☺️ X

Such a great continuation to their story despite my ire at the cliffhanger! But I wouldn't expect any less from a talented writer as yourself. So glad you decided to continue :-) waiting eagerly for the next installment!

In the way she acted rather condescendingly towards Kirsty by rolling her eyes at her when Kirsty was obviously quite upset with herself. That was so tactless and just made her seem more fake than you probably intended for her to be. I don't like Kirsty myself, but it's awkard to see Eva acting and thinking likes she's trying to be kind by feeling sorry for the girl and yet has the audacity to constantly rolls her eyes at her in her presence.

Eva inwardly accuses Kirsty of being a flirt and yet she forgets that she herself is outright cheating on her boyfriend--negligent though he may be--and pretty much becomes weak-willed and turns to putty whenever Tom is around. Perhaps it was intentional on your part to give us a flawed character who is two-faced and a hypocrite, but I'm uncomfortable with the continuous cliche in stories of pitting women against each other by looking down on one another over different personalities and lifestyles.

Having a flirtatious personality isn't bad nor something to roll your eyes over...unless it was done more in amusement or as a joke.

As for Tom, he truly is quite despicable. Mission accomplished there, I suppose. The way he objectified Kirsty so rudely like she was nothing made me unable to take him seriously. That was such a turn off.

I do have to applaud the writing though as you certainly have a way with words, but this part struck out rather odd to me: "The neckline plunged daringly to reveal just a little of her cleavage but covered most of her breasts modestly". Plunged daringly > little cleavage > covered breasts modestly (as opposed to what?) ??? It seemed as though you were still a little undecided as to how you want her gown to appear at that part.

Thanks for all your comments guys!

Just to clear up, it wasn't my intention to make Eva come across in a way to appear that she didn't like Kirsty, when she rolled her eyes at Kirsty, she didn't see it. It was supposed to be as if she was rolling her eyes to herself at Kirsty, but it didn't seem to look right when I wrote it, but still this could've come across a little confusing due to poor wording on my part, sorry about that. My aim was to make Kirsty come across as a bit of an attention seeking drama queen; the complete opposite to Eva really. (We all have that friend right? :p) Eva cares about her a lot, but as a good friend who's known her for a long time, she's used to her dramatic outbursts if you know what I mean, hence the eye rolling haha!

As for Tom, he started off a complete arsehole who was at times cruel and only out to get what he wanted. I'm hoping to make the reader see that as the story progresses so does he, and he starts to gain more compassion as his feelings for Eva grow. Obviously people don't change overnight so he'll still make the occasional inappropriate comment or do something out of line; but this is something I'm looking to work on with him, so I really hope you like where I eventually go with this story and how each character progresses :)

And yes, completely agree with the dress thing. It's something I missed when I was proofreading and noticed once I'd posted the chapter so couldn't change!! Still, this is the first piece of writing I've done so I'm still learning, thanks again for all your supportive feedback, criticism and kind words, it really means a lot that even just one person is reading every chapter, let alone enjoying it!

Kisses 😘