All Comments on 'In Your Office Ch. 01'

9 to 4:30 is 7 1/2 hours. Seems like plenty to me.

...though it depends on the person. Let's just say that Liz goes to bed early because she "should," but spends a couple of hours tossing and turning each night while she thinks about everything she needs to get done.

...have you ever tried being nice and polite and helpful to people for eight or more hours a day? It's exhausting.

I loved your last series and I'm already loving this one too. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Absolutely loved your last series and am eagerly waiting for the next installment of this story :) your writing style is wonderful and unawkward with the perfect amount of realism and I really appreciate that!

The first part of this has so many run-on sentences, dashes, commas and semi-colons it's difficult to follow. This:

Summers weren't a time to recharge; they were a time to plan and run band camp. Spring break, already a very long two weeks ago, hadn't seen her relaxing on the beach with a giant margarita in her hand, the little bikini she hadn't worn in much too long, and a stack of inexcusably trashy novels at her side; instead, she'd spent the week with eighty kids, eight chaperones, and a busload of instruments, touring Disneyland." - has eight commas and two semi-colons(both of which should be periods)

Thanks for the targeted feedback. You're right. I'd go to bat for some of those semicolons, including the first one you highlighted, but I agree the beginning paragraphs could be written more clearly. I started this story a year ago when my writing style was more florid. Then I backburnered it while I worked on other projects. When I dusted it off, I was in a rush to post, so I didn't tinker with the opening too much.

Thanks as well to the reader who called my writing "unawkward." ;) I'm glad some of you who enjoyed "The Boys Next Door" are enjoying this series too.

Long sentences and no one complained about it, or, at least he succeeded doing it. SO WHAT you write in a slightly different format. That person missed the feeling by getting lost in mechanics. I liked the story, though I wish it was college. Is it really OK to fuck an 18-year-old high school student or is that still considered against the law? Sure, I lusted for my hot, blonde lit teacher, but nothing became of it.

I know. I am one. So is my wife. She is TROUBLE.

Great story telling. Believable and highly erotic.