All Comments on 'Inappropriate Ch. 03'

Been waiting to read it an excellent third part =D

Gave you a four. You would have had a five except for a series of extra or incorrect words. Keep writing, but I would suggest proofreading your submission and if need be, finding a en editor.

i am ordinarily pretty hot to trot when it comes to getting the sex going in a story, but sometimes the story and characters are good enough to sustain my interest without immediate naughty bits, and it's nice that the writer takes the time to do a good job with a slow buildup.

this is the first time i've ever read a literotica story where i was actually disappointed to get to the sex ... not because the sex was handled badly, but because the emotions of the characters leading up to it were so vivid and real that i almost wanted it to be just a pure romance instead of erotica. you could have faded to black with the kiss and jumped straight to the afterglow, and this would still be one of my favorite things i've read on this site.

but don't get me wrong, i certainly didn't mind the sex!

so glad you came back to this and finished it!

Pretty good. It did have a number of places where wrong words were used which was kinda distracting.

I look forward to the next installment. Hopefully you don't just blow off the YouTube video. The possibility of consequences is part of this genre and if you take away the danger of public scrutiny by simply not having consequences for it, the story will loose too much realism.

Real people interacting often clumsily ,instead of caricatures acting in absolute predictability. Imagine that. This gave this story grace and meaning. I hope Vicky is not lost as a foil or obstacle playing against the siblings true connection. In fact the author used a plethora of people in last installment which served as great contrast.

This gave the brother sister scenes ,when they were isolated, far from the maddening crowd, extra poignancy. Now the genie is out of the bottle. The fulfillment was lovely. But I'm as interested what these two do out of bed as in it. Blame the author skill for that. Full marks.

I liked the way this series moved along. You did a good job of getting inside your main character's head. I gave it a 5 but just one suggestion if you don't mind - I think it would have been better to wait until it was finished and submitted as a complete story ( assuming it is finished ). Thanks for the story. I enjoyed your writing.

I was concerned that since this was both of their first times, that Jack would cum prematurely, like almost all guys their first time. He didn't seem to have an issue holding off though, which would have made the scene awkward and less arousing. So thank you for taking the unrealistic, "natural born lover" approach. ;)

Thank you for finally releasing part 3 and well done. So far this has been one of my favorite stories here, you manage to give each character their own distinct identity and you built it up perfectly so far. I really look forward to what comes next.

The story is beautiful, Jennifer is a great character but you damaged it all with that: "I had a decent amount of strength within my wiry muscles, so I simply scooped Jennifer into my arms and carried her into our room."

Good story. please continue

Well writen and very realistic too. Please continue writing. This story reminds me of twins that I know. And I am most likely the only one that really know of there relationship of true love.

Excellent writing. You know how to work with words. Excellent character development. The only real problem is the amount of filler. It wouldn't be an issue if the chapters were longer but practically the majority of the chapters were filler. The transitions back to the main topic were abrupt.

It would've been good if you continued this story.

Excellent writing. No grammar/spelling errors. Very good dialogue, Erotic but not grossly pornographic. Very descriptive telling of a relationship between fraternal twins. Brothers and Sisters act like that [with no admission on the sex from this poster]. Hope to read another soon.

I count two references.

the chapters are way to short this could have been a good story if it was posted as one three page chapter or story. you need to proofread better and cut some of the unneeded crap out a good editor would help with that. from now on make your chapters alteast three literotica pages long and write the whole story out in rough form before editing and posting that way the readers don't have to wait long for more chapters or worry about being left hanging. if you really want to improve as a writer ignore the fake rave reviews and listen to the complaints atleast they are honest and listening to them will help you improve.

This story would have read better as a single story. the characters are well developed although too well developed for such a short story. good use of conversation. it was a great read. thanx

Your writing is excellent: character development is great, dialogue is realistic and natural; effective use of humor. I could do without the profanity, though. (As somebody said once, "The disadvantage of being an atheist is that when you have sex, you have nobody's name to yell out.") ;-)

Why is that these sex scenes always ruin the characters and the story? And how coincidental was it that this final chapter got a high rating... Gee, I wonder why. Oh, that's right, people on this site don't care about real story because they're inept.

just now and what can I say...good series just got added to my faves...hope the 5 ***** did justice

This series was incredibly hot!

my most favorite topic

What an emotional coaster ride when Jack decided he wanted to try and have a girlfriend. Really glad he eventually saw the light and accepted that he loved his twin sister.

Would love another chapter just to cover how they coped with life together.

5 years later, no chapter 4 :(

Very good. Appropriate build up.

“He braced himself on my elbows, and gently brushing back her hair.”

Hmm... How many things are wrong with that sentence?

wonderful story...well done! I do think it needs a fourth chapter though

Very good, very enjoyable, and this was a nice culmination to all of the build-up.

They need plans for the future, we need more descriptions of great sex and bonding and how they become even closer, and after those plans, we could use some of HOW they actually do move into the future...

No pressure, good story!

Five for you