All Comments on 'Ingrams & Assoc 2: Retreat Ch. 05'

"Love" the section with Raph rationalizing the outfit, the basic job and her dedication to it. Does little more to me than further prove its basically prostitution, the employees are incapable of serious relationships (which, to me, makes it even more impossible that they could actually be "therapists" of any consequence), and that they are all borderline sociopaths. The plot cleaned up a little too easily, I think you've proven that you're a better writer than that.

How, in all honesty, can Raph accept April to set him up with anyone trustworthy? At the very least, every time he sees Wendy he will be reminded of the relationship and every lie and job requirements April had given him. While I understand wrapping this little side plot up in a neat little package it is about as implausible an addition as this series has, and that is saying a lot.

The whole fuckin story line suck and isn't worth a shit.

So implausible. So bad.

We give you the flu to make you break the law! Mohahahaha!

So when did prostitutes-r-us, er I mean Ingram's and Associates suddenly change their mandate from toying unethically with peoples lives, to going after bank robbers giving people the flu (what menace!).

And what man in his right mind would go anywhere near a woman vetted by a cheater like April. I would run, so far and so fast. My wife (The preDoctor of Psych-Nursing) made a disdainful face at the whole thing and said (about Wendy) "don't let the door hit your ass on the way out."

Jezzaz. I. Like. Your. Work.

Please, please write something else beside Ingram's and Associates.

This convoluted, implausible, truly ridiculous story line doesn't even belong in the Loving Wives section. It is a bad mystery, not a story focused on a relationship between a wife and...anyone.

Francis_Toliver

a bit talky and too descriptive the during the main, but all in all a decent read.

I only read half the first chapter. Read this one out of morbid curiosity. Went about like I thought it would. Dress it up anyway you want, these are just high end whores who make a lot of money and get their jollies at the same time, all in the name of the greater good. As I said before, I'd like to see a story where they run into someone as clever as Jace, but without the forgiving attitude. If they were exposed to the world, would their purpose seem so noble? How do you think their 'clients' would react to seeing how they were manipulated on such a massive level? As I said before, the whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Doesn't mean you're a bad writer, in fact I think you're great on all your other stories, just means I didn;t like it.

I don't know who told you otherwise, but women can be and sometimes are just as insecure and comparative about sex as you all are.

It had a few flaws, and was barely plausible; nevertheless, the whole series was a fun read.

No, repeat NO such professional would accept a beverage from Astrid and Sam after knowing and dismantling their previous processes. Period.

First off Raph is an idiot to accept anything from this woman, and the conversation they had at the restaurant felt completely one sided with April as some bond-like mastermind. Psychology doesn't work like that, it's not magic. And statistics cannot give you the sum total of an individual. Raph should have called her on her bullshit.

how the hell can this be in loving wives

How can This guy Raph ever believe anything else April tells him? How can he not believe that he has become a unknowing client of Ingrams thru his involvement with April? How can he not be suspicious of any woman who now shows interest in him knowing what he now knows? April broke this guy big time, so how's she goin to undo the damage she's done. Certainly not with a suspicious intro to another possible agent. It will be interesting to see how the author pull this rabbit out of the hat to make it right for Raph.

Extremely two dimensional characters that are card board. Seriously how disappointing.

I have read all your posts here at this site. You write full diminished stories with fully developed characters. There is enough erotica to spice up the already exciting plot. Thank you for sharing your imagination,

Paulsub

I really thought this story would 'take off' at some point, but it sort of fizzled for a bit and quietly 'went away'.

Apart from tasering the wrong suspect April didn't really do very much - did she? A dose of flu didn't exactly bring the excitement to boiling point at the end either!

The 1st two April stories were far better and the change of formula here fell somewhat flat.

Get Jace more involved.

4*

PC

but it needs major renovation of characters, content, and wit. It's about as interesting as a National Geographic nature film. Which is actually pretty interesting, but not very exciting. This could be a really great novel idea and heroine series, written with the right talent and enthusiasm. I'm hoping for your sake that that is you. Good luck with it!

I really enjoyed this for the most part...right up to the final chapter. What a huge letdown...huge holes in the storyline and an implausible ending. Very disapointing.

Seems like it may have been hurried a bit.????

I do look forward to reading more of this series.......

First time for me I give 1* rating to someone like Jezzaz. A writer with good stories previously posted ,and a really stinky series, lol.

The important thing is Jezzaz is pleasing himself, and sharing with us.

It's like cottage cheese,really ripe err aged cottage cheese. A lady friend of mine likes it alot. But when she offers to share . No way! I say you read, err eat it. I don't want any.

So there you have it. No constructive criticism. No suggestions.

Thank you Jezzaz and I look forward to the next different story. I need the mouthwash....

AMerryMan

What in the world is this doing in Loving Wives?

I really like your writing and enjoyed a number of your stories, but this was pretty lame. Basically, April flies to an exotic island and has sex with a whole bunch of people having orgasms galore, and then somehow traps a few D Class bank robbers at the end. You could do so much better. I think that's the real disappointment. No one is expecting you to be DQS or HDK or Qhm1, etc (apologies for leaving other great authors out). But why aren't you being Jezzaz?

Please continue to write, but something other than Hookers R Us stories.

I really tried. I love your other stories. When We Were In Love is my favourite story on this entire site. My absolute favourite. And the other two non-Ingrams stories are close behind. But I gave this a 3. I know you worked hard. I respect that. The level of imagination is impressive. I think I could see what you were trying to do. But it just didn't work for me. Sorry. Having said that I loved the conversation in this chapter between Raph and April. It was great and showed what you can do. But I didn't believe for one second that he would loan out his store for the sting becaase he was so hurt and bitter. But those few chapters of them talking leading up to her ask were the best thing in the entire story. Regardless of how I feel about this particular story, I will continue to read anything you post because you are that good a writer. Cheers. Steve

Generally liked it but not as well as your other stories. Seems a lot left hanging-- who manipulated the viruses, etc, seems like more people had to be involved. Perhaps that's another story.

I think there is the basis of a good story here, but there are too many inconsistencies and holes in the plot - it needs a good rewrite and edit.

It is therefore hardly surprising that the scores (including those I've given) are significantly less than previous stories in the series.

But I still don't care for the series. I guess I'm influenced a lot by the fact that I despise the organization she works for. Raph said it best, it's all based on a lie.

They say they are there to help people. It's all bullshit. They are being paid to deliver a result, which normally seems to be someone not having a meltdown over something very bad being done to them of a persona nature. They provide a bandage for that hurt so the person can continue to do their job. It doesn't matter what's in the best interests of their patient. It's whatever serves the best interests of whomever hired them. It's unethical and in some cases downright evil. All the while they rationalize it all as working for the greater good, which is bullshit.

So far this series hasn't provided anyone I care about, especially the protagonist. Her hubris in reeling Raph back in to serve her own ends and then pawning off a friend on him to make up for her own failings is breathtaking. Without someone to feel empathy for, the stories just don't rouse much interest in me.

I essentially feel the same way. The only difference between you and me is that I did not bother to read the story, which is too bad because jezzazz writes pretty well (though sometimes he fumbles on the dismount).

For whatever reason, enunciated by you much better than I could, I find the premise of the organization distasteful and so I have, save for the first one, given the series a total miss.

So, jezzazz. I know you love these characters (I have my own favorites who are an...acquired taste) but I would love to read something else.

I liked After the Game and it was hard for me to stop praising Metamorph (except for that threesome dismount). And 'Out of Love'? I felt every emotion that character had.

So let Ripley or Riley or whatever the hell her name is have a vacation in Greece and give us another grand story.

I love your "Ingram" stories. Obviously if one wishes to find fault one can.

When I read a yarn it is for pleasure if it, or the style of writing, doesn't appeal then

I turn to something else, usually within the first half page.

Don't worry about the morons, who seem to forget that these are fiction not true to life.

Keep up the good work.

From an admirer.

I love these stories! Great plot(s), very well written. "Two thumbs up - Way up!"

Swift ending but all nicely wrapped up..