All Comments on 'Ingrams & Assoc Prequel: Broken'

really good start. well developed. thank you

Thanks for sharing a great start!!

Great start! I'm on board

You write in a compelling fashion that works so well in a serial format. You should have a number of readers anxiously waiting for the next chapter. I am most curious how this prequel is to work in the following chapters. I did foresee him being the father early on but did not guess he probably didn't know. Alice seemed a bit the coward. Not being able to choose one man over the other but still seeing the pain his caused all three. Not wanting to live with whatever possibilities she had decided were true regardless of being a mother, etc. She was a disappointing character. I know you will tease us unmercifully with your cliffhangers. Looking forward to it.

Trailer hitches still have chrome...and are easier to suck. But this intro DOESN'T!

5*. Plenty of sex, and at least one adventurous wife, so far! Please keep it in this category!

While you are a really good writer I'm sorry to say that I lost interest in what was probably a good tale when you decided to go cucky. I mean what the fuck!? This was actually a good tale that didn't involve humiliation and degradation. So it's one of the few times we get a good yarn and the author decides to include the cucky aspect. I mean there is really no way we can't get away from the fucking wimpy cuck shit no matter what. I'm way more disappointed in this then I am the other 12 cuck stories today. A good story ruined because this place is a fucking cess pool of sick and perverted cucks. Talk about depressing and ruining your day. Geez!!!

Gave you 3*s. A good start. Bye the way, no threesome this story.

A first time for you, right?

AMerryMan

...though I found the time shifts very difficult. Also it seemed like you started with one intro, 'Uncle' telling his story to Algy, but then you shifted backwards in time to 'Uncle' talking to Sam. Was very confusing.

Forwards, not back. When he talks to Sam, it's a year on.

The idea was to show that this was something he did every year.

I really didn't do a good job of indicating when each of the bits were taking place chronologically.

Jezzaz, as much as I hate cuck stories, this was so well written with characters that were so likeable, I couldn't help myself!

I especially liked that while Marcus did the 'civilized thing', he still got some and worked out a response to the overbearing and always apparently winning Jonathan.

That Alice was so easily 'switched' to Jonathan, suggests she suffered a lack of character.....but I've seen this happen.

In my case, she came and talked about changes, we had one last fire-filled fuck and she left me there for my former friend. That we found out 8 years later that the child they had was actually mine and that the fancy boy was sterile, gave me no end of pleasure in the ensuing divorce. She and I didn't ever re-connect. After her behavior, I could never bring myself to trust her again, and finally came to slightly dislike her. But, like Marcus (although I knew) I have always since then, quietly made sure my son's needs were covered.

See, life imitates art....or is it the other way 'round?

Good set up for all the history behind the motives of the folks we have yet to meet. A long ago cuckold telling his story, in so many words and the truth that his daughter now knows. This should be an interesting tale.

I am hooked on the story and the writing is terrific but this is a prequel. I can't find the original story. Is it on Literotica??? A different story site??? A different author??? I just can not locate any story with "Ingrams & Assoc........" as part of the title.

More Ingrams is coming. There are 5 stories in the series, plus the prequel.

At the time of writing this comment, story #1 is 4/5's done, and then needs to be edited. Story #3 is completed and in the editors hands, and story #2 is plotted out.

I published the prequel in order to push myself to actually finish story #1.

Jezzaz, I really enjoyed this well imagineered beginning to your future submissions of Ingrams & Associates.

Attempting to move back and forth through time is difficult to show in a written plotline. I tried by using italics for past scenes in my 'Brotherly Love' submission and got a whole lot of bellyaching.

Hell, the reason I had tried that experiment was because of all the whining tantrums commentators spewed all over other authors previous works. That the dull-minded readers were having too much difficulty figuring out the plots.

So now I've been trying to to be a little more lineal in the timelines of works I have going on. Problem for me, I don't really think that slowly. I tend to write bits and pieces, scenes and actions, characters and characterizations in fits and starts. Then try to weave together this mess of scraps into a coherent quilt.

Good Luck on your progress - fanfare -

Quite an adventure.

@ Devilspy Johnny was the cuckold. Marcus lost the marriage possibility, but he cuckolded Johnny with a girl. That is other question Marcus was not simple sexrobot but a emotional being whose was any conscience for the mistaken murder(s)..............

An interesting yarn, well told and with very interesting characters.

Cornholing closet cuckolds isn't your thing Duna, stick to sticking it to billy goats, people just cuntabidebyit!

Congrats on a smart, well told story. I noticed this prequel when I was half was through the Ingram stories. It works perfectly. The time shifting worked fine. I had no problem following it. Emotionally it is not quite as powerful as a cuckolding that is happening in the present. There are four key elements to a good cuckolding story, whether it is BTB or RAAC: how the husband finds out, how husband feels about it, what the husband does in response, and how the wife feels after the husband takes action/revenge. I look forward to more of your stories in the future.

This was my first Ingrams story, I sort of cringe at long stories, because poor ones just seem dragged out. I think you are a better sort. Certainly a great start

Chilley

Of course this story is a FIVE. I wish I could give it a TEN since it is twice as good as other stories that I gave a five. I knew I would really enjoy this story after reading the first paragraph. It wasn't more than a few paragraphs before I began to feel empathy for Uncle Marcus and my eyes became teary. By the end of the chapter, I was actually crying. You are a very good writer. I hope your writing has earned you a lucrative contract with a publishing company by now. Thank you for the entertainment.

I'm guessing that this was one of your earlier tales; good, but not in the same league

as your later 'Ingram' stories. There were times I got a bit confused when half way through a conversation, with one individual, you wander off talking to someone else. Other than that I like your style of writing - keep up the good work.

"And I... like the idiot in love I was, I stayed” – You sure got the “idiot” part right! As you said earlier, YOU were the major part of Johnny’s success, HE needed you more than you needed him. If Alice REALLY loved you she would be 100% yours, and would tell Johnny to get lost. If she didn’t, the rest is garbage, and to take their crumbs, you might as well cut your own balls off!

"So there I was, forced to stand up and hand the rings to the man marrying the love of my life.” – Again, NO FUCKING WAY! And I’d call a press conference to tell the world why, that while I was laid up, that he used MY notes to find the tomb, and meanwhile STOLE my girl!

“We could see the blood spurt and Johnny fall, and that was all she wrote.” – Good! Just what he deserved!

"And then she let go." – Again, good! In spite of what she said, she DID NOT love him. She couldn’t have and done what she did, especially the humiliation.

“Since she'd discovered that Uncle Marcus was not her Uncle Marcus but was in fact, her father” - I knew that the discovery she mentioned earlier was a DNA test showing that Marcus was her father.

I wish that Marcus lived long enough for her to tell him that he was her father, and that she loved him and forgave him for his part in her mother’s death.

For the time shifts, a simple heading "Six Months Later" or something would make it easier.

Also, some sort of a break, like a row of tildes (~) between Marcus's story and April's narration, would also be helpful!

That Marcus was the father of her child?

Alice has NO character. She swore her undying love and then shit on it. And still Marcus loved her.

She should have been ashamed.

And if she knew he was the dad, that just makes it worse.

Denying him the love of his child as well as hers.

Well written, good characters, and an interesting story line.

Even if it did take one third of the story to hook me.

Looking forward to reading the rest. I want to she if dr. I grams is more ethical in this story line than in "Out of Love".

Just another spinless wimp. Thought this series would be great from the reviews, but after falling asleep twice, I had enough by the middle of the second page. "And I...like the idiot in love I was, stayed". This is my first negative review, guess because I had high expectations from 22 postings. Grammatically it was well written.

Literotica needs another story catagory: spineless cuckolds.

Wimpomus cuckolot.

Reading on but it appears as if April is the daughter of a slimy whore and a cuck.

If the rest plays out, April becomes a super whore, taking dick for money but with super spy skills.

I like your writing jezzaz but don't think cocksucking whores no matter how super, are worthy or empathetic.

I figured April was probably Marcus' daughter. I think most women, when learning of their pregnancy, try to calculate the date of conception. If she did not know, then she would have suspected, same as with Marcus.....Why did she let go of his arm, dropping her to her death, abandoning her baby.... unless she knew the truth... too much guilt, perhaps? There are loose ends here.

one of the best stories on here. To the anon who quit reading part way through and did your chicken imitation (cuck, cuck, cuck), you fucked up Flounder.

Great intro , though not sure where you go from here. Can't believe he stayed around with his girl for all that pain.

Read this a little out of order, but it was a good story in itself. Glad April found out Marcus was her father and what a shallow whore her mother really was.

... was my introduction to Jezzaz so added him to my favourites and have started Ingrams & Assoc from the beginning.

An incredibly moving start to a series so interested in seeing where this going. Shame April couldn't confide in Marcus. *****

What a sad, sad story and very well written a man driven by love and hate to get the woman he loved back.

Why did did she let go and fell to her death? Surely she wasn't that despondent over death of her husband, he didn't really lover he just wanted to posses her and take her from her true love and she wanted both of them. So why did she die?

There are compelling stories to be told about men operating under one moral code helplessly in love with women operating under a different moral code. This might have been one of those stories, but it was a mistake to tell it in dialogue form. It's all summary, all exposition, and the drama of the tale is consequently muffled.

Amazing concept and amazingly written out. People aren't perfect, and moral courage doesn't spring up and stand forth ex nihilo. Marcus did the best he could. It's very easy to just say 'well he should have earlier put a ring on the woman'; or that later, 'he should have told them both to go to hell' and moved on. Or to say 'April's mom should have known it would destroy Marcus and been a better woman' Funny, but all the people I know are quite fallible. Perfect people would be awfully dull, wouldn't they. Nor would they need stir the readers' compassion.

Brilliant!!!! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️