All Comments on 'Inkwell Ch. 05'

And was such a good story before.

Likin the story

Fun run while it lasted.

Sure doesn't help anyone else, least of all the author, to only add a sniping, sneering, cryptic expression of displeasure for how the story changed for you.

Dicks.

to those who like the story fine .To those who dont also fine but take your negativity and take it where is more welcome. They say that those that can do, and those that cannot become critics. If you have something relevant a glaring plot fault a character misnamed drastic spelling mistake fine. I am sure NeoShade would appreciate your input . Just sniping is unfair not all stories entertain all readers

Continuing to love the story line. You warned us ahead of time that there would be chaos and so it begins. *grins* i'm curious to see what develops next. i'm also glad that Ducici has found a mortal to be bound to that will be able to keep her close to her tree. Will be interesting to see how the relationship with Tony develops with the dynamics of the group as a whole. Really looking forward to the introduction of the muses. Oh... *chuckles*.. btw, loved how you handled the whole Mrs. Johnson situation. *grins big* Keep up the great writing and don't let the "ney sayers" get to you.

*chuckles*

almost forgot... Thanks... *lil wink, grins*

it is a little hard to fallow with so many girls and it being rushed. Please slow it down and not so heavy with the down and dirty sex

As an English/Literature teacher, I find the story extremely interesting. The story line is wonderful and so far easy to follow. That being said I do have a couple of things I would like to know; first, do you need an editor? If so I volunteer my services to correct the obvious grammar and syntax errors. You move from present to past with regular frequency and that makes it hard to read, just saying. Second, are you looking at developing the characters a little more fully? I believe that would help bring the confusion down for some readers. Finally, where are you getting the mythical names from? Just wondering?

The plot and characters are confusing enough without having to battle through your weird spelling, which hinders the story flow.

Please continue but at least consider the offer of an editor.

Your story line is very creative and the narrative flow is interesting, but the cast of characters is getting too large to keep track of, and the almost constant sex is getting a bit boring. A little more narrative and a little less sex would be a better balance. In addition, you do need an editor - the spelling and tense changes are very distracting. For example, it is "chaste" not "chased", "shuddered", not "shuttered", and "rigid" not "ridged", among many others. These are errors which spellcheck cannot fix, because the words are not spelled incorrectly, merely used incorrectly. To fix that, you need an editor.

From an erotic literature stand point I loved the first four chapters. The sex was hot, the story was good and most of the characters were decent. Because of this I could overlook the spelling and grammar errors no problem.

However this last chapter took the story, eroticqlly speaking, in a direction I didn't care for. On top of that, I feel that your characterization has gone downhill. Instead of working and building up existing characters (of which there were already too many by the end of chapter 4) you continued to add more characters while keeping current ones shallow (or making them more so).

It had good potential, but sadly I'll be stopping here.

The following are a continuation of the necessary corrections to make this story English:

Bonding: They BONDED so well that they decided to marry;

Bounding: As he was BOUNDING over the fence, he fell;

Quack: Ducks QUACK; people speak;

Quake: Her body QUAKED when she saw the size of his dick;

Nibble: A good thing to do is to NIBBLE on her clitoris;

Nimble: His NIMBLE fingers played with her clitoris.