All Comments on 'Inkwell'

Easy to read with a nice flow. Need to spell check but other than that I'm looking forward to reading more !

Very good story so far, but I must confess that your use of terms like "man stick", "pleasure pole", "man meat" etc. have an effect that is probably the opposite of what you intend. Instead of being creative and sensual, they make me giggle and disrupt the flow of the scene. Sometimes less is more - there is nothing wrong with the word "penis" or "cock."

I am a shofar! Blow me. Gotta love the innocent spelling mistakes of a good plot line. The text needs a proofreader/editor but still a great read.

Great start to the story, keep it up.

I liked this even with the spelling, the story held me in when normally misspellings will break me out of a story.

Good story kept me quite entertained, and I cant wait for a sequel :)

Pretty simple plot so far. Not that I mean its bad. Kinda felt like for a time or 3 someone pressed the fast-forward button. Events started coming to fast for my tastes.

Good premise but it needs some work. If you did write a sequel id think about consolidating his position, and relationship with the women over a few chapters before introducing more variables. 5-6 women in one chapter is too many already, take your time and get a feel for them. Feels like at the pace you developed the plot, some antagonists are going to be introduced and personally id hope you could hold off on that for a bit. Flesh out your characters a little.

Damn. I got beaten to the punch. ...so if she's a shofar, can I blow her for the High Holydays?

I don't usually comment but i love this story and your style there's sex and allure but also life moments which are very touching.

You have the good bones of an epic story here....please find an editor... I have rarely winced while reading a story as often as I have for this one. Please keep working on you craft.

. . You for sharing your gift. The imagination/vision in your work is wonderful. I agree with all the previous comments, but I would add that the slips/typos gave me a chance to practice focusing on the beautiful view and not be distracted by the little marks/dust on the window. Thanks Again . . . .

I enjoyed the story and like the characters you have started... I want to start with that.

I have a number of things that really made the reading less enjoyable. 1) SO many mistakes, 2) strange pacing of the story at times is rushed, 3) this comment by Estephan would never be made by the character you have created: "It would be more likely that I stayed if anyone but Debby fat ass was in charge."

I urge you to use the editors on the site. What was fun if troubling... would have been great with good editing.

"She quacked with orgasm"

I laughed so hard at this my stomach hurt.

The story could be really good.

About half way through page 1. Did your writing improve later. You desperately need a proof reader to fix the silly mistakes. It can take a few tries to hope to understand something if a wrong or misspelt word is used. How did you get such high scores?

At least read through your story before issuing.

Great ideas and plot, needs more work on proofing. The spelling is rough and it may be that allowing the autocorrect to do its thing without supervision is what confuses things.

This sample shows how words get turned around to make reading the story harder:

“Her reaction to it spurned him to delve dipper. She quacked with orgasm,“

Spurned should be spurred. Spurned is a different word with a very different meaning that doesn’t work here.

Dipper should be deeper and also confuses - a dipper is something you might use to dip a drink out of a water bucket.

She quaked with orgasm is much better - I’ve known women who giggle and laugh at orgasm but never one that quacked like a duck.😉