All Comments on 'Inspiration Ch. 02'

Is there going to be a plot in here somewhere?

The descriptions are a little florid. My children and grandchildren never called each other "brother" or "bro" and "sister" or "sis" anywhere near like these two do. Granted, neither group engaged in joint sex that I know about but still; it just doesn't sound real. Great sex but I am sorry you are such a fan of anal. If the next chapter is all about anal, then I'll pass.

Too much description is just as bad as too liitle description. In this case, it tires the reader, becoming tedious and boring. And I agree about the overuse of 'bro', please spare us, the readers.

So many words, so little said.

Great story!

When I got to the end of page one do you know what I said to myself? '...oh geez, two more pages??'

Now don't get me wrong, the story is great! ...it's just that it was way WAY over-killed with descriptiveness!! I literally felt like I was forcing myself just to finish the first page.

What started with a beautiful story was destroyed by adjectives and adverbs - what a pitiful use of an otherwise erotic tale

brilliant!