All Comments on 'Interest'

Bravo

It was okay, til the end that is, you don't spend much time round 3 year olds do you? They can actually pronounce, 'CH' and they don't waddle like the one in your story does. I work with kids every day and what you described was about level with a 2 year old.

...in years that have passed by I have only come across a handfull or two stories that have left a deep emotional impression. This story definately belongs among the top 10 (not a bad ranking if you consider thousands of stories, right?)

Please keep up the admirable work done here.

Thank you for giving the pleasure of sharing this story.

I absolutely LOVED the intro scene. It was poignant and subtle, didn't require a man coming home to find his wife/gf rutting in bed or (gawd) a blow job in a public toilet (because women find such sites SO romantic...)

I had a few eye rolls during this, but I am on a low sweet, low carb diet.

This is what I've grown to expect from you. Well thought out, eligant and enjoyable stories. All I hope is that the next one comes soon

add a few enemies and wait to see what really happens. TK U MLJ LV NV

Enjoyed the story, for those who say this is impossible they haven't read many classics. This is fiction folks and to the one who brought up that 3 yr olds don't act that way, it depends on the family. My young grandniece, who just turned three acts just like that, she's an only lonely and doesn't know she should act older

I sort of half guessed the twists and turns as you got to them, but that made it all the more enjoyable. Nothing better than a story that ends the way you wanted it to. 5 stars, and I really wish I'd written this story!

I thoroughly enjoyed this. Thoroughly. The chess match, was well conceived, and her year long proposal was different. I felt that was a stretch to do it for a year.

Her cold feet at his proposal was well played, and I could go on.

Suffice to say, a well deserved Five.

THANK YOU!

M1*****

wow a slice out my life... a total 5 Stars

A very well written story that deserves nothing lower than 5*

The good thing with this story is that it is so well written that the ending could have gone either way and it would still merit 5 stars.

I do enjoy a good btb story but also a reconciliation if it fits.

Ignore the bitterness from the rabid haters.

Also i would like to say thank you for allowing anon comments.

It shows you are big enough to consider every reader of this site and not only the members, amongst whom are a number who think their false usernames are less anonymous (go figure).

Bravo.

This is easily one of the best stories I've read at lit in quite awhile. You had me guessing the whole way through. Brilliant choices led to a satisfying and believable revenge and reconciliation.

Would have appreciated that git Fred Carter receiving a little comeuppance but I guess that would have out of character.

I agree with previous comments and the ending could have gone either way, the only tiny little criticism I have is of Staci's character. Would a young woman in todays world be that much under the cosh of her father, it was a little Victorian and middle twentieth century type of relationship. It's a "funny old world".

Highly enjoyable story - excellent writing - faultless!!

MORE PLEASE...

he let david off a little easy. he shouldve had the police go after him for assault. put him in prison and get it on his record. instead he lets david and janet run off together with no payback. but other than that it was great.

Terrific story, well written!

Actually thought Janet was the girl for him, until she turned into a whore.

it took way too long and a very clumsy contrived route to get here. Staci's actions after his graduation proposal become preposterous after learning that she chose to take David to Europe with her, but wouldn't fuck him because she still loved Troy? WTF? Then she marries David because her father made her do it? But she knows David is a scumbag, and her dad is a scumbag, but she sucks up the humiliation and disrespect and stays with David, all the while still being in love with Troy? Oh, I made a mistake is her explanation for all that? She helped pick out the engagement ring, but was surprised by the proposal? And David is like Satan incarnate and Staci's first choice as lover, but when David returns Troy senses nothing adverse in Staci's and David's behavior toward him and toward each other? Just, BullShit.

Way too ambitious of a plot for such a weak story line, and such contradictory inconsistent characters. The whole thing did not make sense. Why did she wait two years after her father's death to start proposing to Troy? And she just walks in one day and starts this proposing farce?

Again, I appreciate the effort, but you need a reality consistency editor. So many contrived actions, character changes, and personality shifts that it became a cartoon. Too bad, because I can tell this took a lot of work and thought. Thank you for your efforts.

I would add my accolades. Best story I have read on this site in quite some time...got more to share?

I figured out Troy knew Janet was a mole and was tricking Mr. Porter. But Staci's love for Troy the whole time was a surprise.

Only because David and Janet deserved a little more punishment for their actions.

Loved the journey to redemption. Didn't even mind the reconciliation because the better man one. The chess game was one of the best scenes I ever read.

Keep up the good work.

Oshaw you are certainly not the most productive author around here but surely one of the top 5 if not top 3,your storys are intelligently written ,make sense and one is compelled to finish it to have peace of mind lol

Congrats on yet another great story

Finally a story that I can actually read and enjoy. You are in my opinion the best active writer on this site. I can't wait for your next story.

I really appreciate the clever and intense writing here. The twists and turns were well done. Five stars. My only complaint is that NONE of the characters were likeable people - the kind of people you would want for neighbors.

Throughly enjoyed this story. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Good story. Not very erotic and you don't know much about banking, but it held my interest anyway. That's good enough.

One of your Best. thanks!

Thoroughly enjoyable. Maybe he could have accepted her proposal after a week of penance, but it all worked out in the end. My only complaint is that you don't post more stories. Do you post anywhere else? Great writing. Thanks for the effort.

but this fell a little flat for me. When the main character deposited his gift back near the garbage can at the reunion, that tells me a lot about his character and how much he cares about others time and effort and intention. Not a lot.

So from there it became a slog thru the mud All the drama, which didnt seem to fit, Staci accosting him at the reunion, physically, and verbally telling of her mistake, didnt seem to ring true. Why not just divorce David and then assert yourself?

dont mean to be all negative, just didnt enjoy the story, although well written as usual.

Thx for your efforts.

Totally enjoyable story. Plot and pacing kept me enthralled up to the very end. Ignore the negative nannies. Most have never tried to write a story and get their kicks from nit picking others work to death. Only part that threw me was the one year wait. Why? I am eagerly awaiting the J story. You raised the bar. Keep up the excellent writing.

Really liked the story. The Chess analogy was interesting and you captured the sense of time and his sorrow. Reminded me a lot of It's a Wonderful Life storyline in a sense you have the plucky banker who believes in people vs. the evil, self centered, power mad local rich dude who will not settle for anything less than the entire pie.

Having the daughter (stupid-bitch) begging to become his wife for a year with continuous rejection was a nice endpoint for the story. Vindictive me would have made sure the Janet and her mother would have wound up in a whore house in Lagos, and David dropped off in the middle of the Gobi Desert with no water. But Troy was not that type of guy, but he did drive old man to suicide.

Thanks..all you work has been very enjoyable...

I love it when the big leaguers drop by and leave this kind of goodness.

You nailed it at the end. "Peace Daddy!" To which he replied "Peace". I guess in a way, that's what he'd finally found. Well told, well ended.

This story is incredibly long-winded.

What a terrific story! Thanks for sharing it with us.

A wonderful story. You are growing as a writer and I always look forward to your stories. I can't tell you how many times I have gone back and reread your stories. Thanks!

but I must be a real "BASTARD" because I wouldn't take her back to save my fucking life.

Good day for the Loving Wives genre.

Total story and the major plot were super. I had some specific problems with some of the pieces: 1. The Staci our hero loved would not give in to her father and marry the other guy and move to CA. 2. Staci's father's attitude and vengeance against the hero and his parents were way over the top. They were voted out of the CC? "Everyone" moved their accounts to the villain? Come on! 3. Were the oilfield stocks "publicly" traded? If so, how did our hero pull that off? Public or not, why didn't the villain send his "own people" to the site to check things out?

Lessons learned, heeded and followed through. Really enjoyed reading the Country Club chess game revealing the revenge. Beautiful plot twist. Thinking the timeline out, put him at 28 years old. He learned well growing up. From his father and the shithead old man. Not bad for a guy that age. Beautifully done!!

Your talent as a writer, as another said, is very good. Thank you and looking forward to the next one. 5 stars!!

Enjoyed it!!!!

Staci wants a favor from him, after A) betraying him B) having NO contact for six years and C) standing by while her father tries to destroy him and his family. She must be insane!

Her father wouldn’t “allow” her to marry Troy? Isn’t she an adult? She should tell her father she was wrong an is going to marry Troy whether he likes it or not! And how can she marry someone against her will? What can her father do if she refuses to say “I do?”

She wants to make it up to him? Easy – divorce David and take out a full-page ad admitting all ault in the affair and denouncing her father’s actions.

What “effort” did she make? Some empty platitudes about how “sorry” she is? What is she actually planning to DO? And he still has a lot of “friends”? Where have all these “friends” been during all his troubles. And how could anyone who considered themselves HIS friend be friends with her or any Buckman?

"The reality is that I belong with you. I made a bad mistake and I'm going to take care of that, Troy."

She’s had six YEARS to “take care of that,” meanwhile she’s STILL married to David.

I disagree with the comparison of Staci’s proposal to his. There was no way she should have been shocked at his proposal – they had talked about marriage and planned for it for months if not years; they had even shopped for rings. Her proposal is quite out of the blue, while he is on a date with ANOTHER woman!

Excellent as always.

with all the crap getting posted on this site every day this genre needs more writers like you for the people who enjoy serious stories like these

I was disappointed I could only give this story a 5. It deserved a higher rating. Great reading one of those ones that you can't stop reading until the end.

Thanks for a wonderful story.

Great story and a good ending. I can't imagine any woman going through that for a year but hey it's all good in fantasy land!

Steaming giant pile of shit... decently written but all that does is put chocolate topping on a pile of shit.... if you wish to eat it and say how good it is more power to ya.

Self-cuck automatically gets 1/5... this is cutting the balls off a guy and feeding them to him while he smiles happily self cuck.... if thats your thing once again more power to ya but you really deserve everything you get in life if so.

Interesting begining, but after about page 3 It was pretty obvious this was self cuck so skimmed and while the *revenge* on the father and friend was done ok.... where was the revenge on the ex? You pansy fucks that want to hit up the other guy but always forgive the woman are useless at the best of times.

I'd say keep on writing but it would just be more of this shit which is just a waste of everyones time.

Welcome back Oshaw, another very well written story under your belt, can't wait to see what you come up with for the letter J.

Keep up the excellent work my friend.

The premise was good, but the framework to set up the scenario flimsy in the extreme.

I agree with them

I appreciate the time and effort the writer put into this story to entertain us readers. Thanks!

Hey, little bitch.

Still pissed about that girl laughing at your little boy pee-pee, I see.

Maybe if you could ever get a job, it would help?

Enjoyable, with well-written characters (if a bit stereotyped...you might as well have given the villains moustaches to twirl). Exceptionally rewarding victory.

Not too long. Not too short. Satisfying.

great story. oh I despaired early on, was there any possible chance this guy would get a clue? how can you be so oblivious to the obvious? but he wasn't was he. i don't know why haters hate. i don't. anyway, a great story well told, you stretched it, you really did but you pulled it off. oh and the chess game was a nice touch. *****

A very good read, I wished that the Troy had subjected Janet to lots of degrading sexual acts, like cum swallowing, anal etc. Knowing what her true position is in his life was !

Troy regained his father's dignity by renaming Chuck Buckmam's company after him. It would have been equally satisfying that his mother receive the same acknowledgement, by him taking over the town hospital and renaming it after her.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece. The mark of a gifted writer is when the reader enjoys the story even while disagreeing with the subject matter. Kudos!

No doubt, one of the best stories this year...Good writing, good story, good ending. Thank you...4*

It's not your fault but I'll always find every loving wife story lacking when I compare it to your near perfect story "equation"... This was good, if predictable... I did like the protagonist, but the antagonist, the henchman, the femme fatale as well as the damsel in distress as characters were not as well-rounded...

Don't take this negatively, though, I'm just a guy who likes the dish but thinks it requires a little seasoning. It's just a critique...

All that being said, I have to say I'm absolutely delighted that you're back... You're a writer I put in the same category as other masters like Rehnquist and Francis Macomber... So keep on trucking...

Suggestion- j for jealousy???

I'm eagerly awaiting your next offering...

This story is not up to the standards of the author's prior work, but then it's probably unrealistic to expect every offering to be that good. Admittedly, this is a fictional tale, but it strayed much too close to the unbelievable end of the spectrum for my taste. Staci keeps proposing to him publicly for a year despite daily rejections? Seriously?

David and Janet are still out there. David is too much of a sniveling toady to worry about, but Janet is clever, cunning and capable of infiltrating and undermining other unsuspecting businesses. At the very least, Troy needs to have her hunted down and make sure that anyone she ever tries to get a job with receives information about her history so she can never harm anyone else.

Well told, it kept my interest, did not bore me. Good job.

As usually you are one of the best. You. Held my interest till the end. A little far fetched with him making her beg for a year to marry him, before he relinquished. A little too much. No women would continue to go thru that humiliation forever.!

An interesting story.

I've got to agree with an earlier comment, living up to Equation is tough. This one has a few wrinkles but it's still a cut above most stories.

Perhaps it's the setting, country clubs and banks are not renowned for being filled with sympathetic characters. The beginning got me offside with the hero, public marriage proposals tend to be ugly, patronizing affairs and when ever I see one I hope the recipient tells the person on bended knee to piss off. So in the beginning I felt for his intended fiancée.

Once you hit your stride it moved along well but then it started to drag on. There were more endings than in the last film of The Lord Of the Rings trilogy.

Still, as I said earlier it's still better than anything I'll ever produce so 5*

Wow ... Ashson, Iverson and Oshaw ... and it is NOT an April Fool trick! Only quibble with this offering is that I skimmed through the Erotica parts to verify that it was a double double-cross. Very nicely done!

Well crafted, well designed, and well executed. I will also agree with some of the other comments about David and Janet and add one of my own. ALL of these have the potential to make an excellent Chapter 2!

First, David and Janet are out there. Where are they, and what steps has Troy taken to protect his family? He owes both of them a strong dose of revenge, especially for the physical harm David did to Staci. While Troy may not be the kind of man to pursue David, if David made the mistake of returning to town, it would certainly present Troy with another opportunity to 'balance the books' over David's physical abuse of Staci. Maybe, as a critical (and possibly fatal) mistake, David not only returns, but makes a play for Karen as an attempt at revenge? Hmmmmmmm........

Finally, he never fully developed how he got wind of Janet's betrayal so quickly and completely. THAT information could easily be developed into a strong story for your readers.

Is there one fragment of the old Buckman empire left to come back and haunt Troy?

Thank you for another great story.

capitvated by the web the author weaved. didnt like the ending. i understand the forgiveness angle, i just cant buy it. too much hurt and pain to let go...requires tremendous amounts of love and understanding that 99.9% of people dont possess.

Or a GREAT, "Piece"....whichever. :)

A no doubter ***** 5 stars all the way!!

It's 2am. I have got to get some sleep so I'm going to favorite this and finish it tomorrow. Don't anyone tell me how it ends!

He better be glad Staci kept going back to him every night for a year as it would have been pretty stupid to let pride prevent him having the love of his life for a wife.

It would be nice to know what made you come up with such a stupid, unbelievable idea to piss on such a wonderful story that way.

It's now 3am. I couldn't stop reading. As always, oshaw brought home another winner. When I see his name on a story I just give it 5*s then go back and start reading.

I will admit, I would have probably accepted her proposal on the second night, but-

Great story.

and I just finished "Interest" too.

As soon as I saw oshaw, I was interrupted and then later came back to read it.

Most Amazing story and writing bar non. Period.

Thanks for sharing your hard work with us on Lit.

x

there were even a few "fruity" comments from anonymous, again

Loved it. Well written

Loved it and hope you will keep them coming.

Thanks.

some sort of malfunction here. cant load the story text?

This is sentimental, childish tripe. I predict it will rate through the roof.

for your effort

Whit out any dude 5

You know the formula (cheating woman, best friend, her family hates him, etc.). there are some obvious clues (his harebrained "illegal scheme" is the sort that almost always blows up on the schemer, and him telling Janet everything about it and her not running to the SEC as fast as she can to avoid going to prison with him when it inevitably does meant it had to be fake and she had to be a plant from either his enemies or the Feds), and you're pretty sure from the tagline that he's going to come out on top in the end, but you still want to see how it's going to come together in the end.

The story text is not loading. It just goes to voting and comments.

Awesome ! Loved it.

So romantic , so sentimental . And the revenge filled me sky- high with pleasure !!

Gotta hand it to you Oshaw, the ratings should go through the roof . I gave you 5*s .

LOL , where did I hear that before ??

AMerryMan

As usual

A current version of the classic tale of loss and redemption. An excellent and well-written story deserving of a solid 5 star rating. (You really must correct the "feets of clay" of Charles Buckman, though.) Write on!

I loved this story, so don't bother calling be a sentimental fool. I already know that. They were meant to be together. The only thing I don't understand was why he waited a year. I know he was hurt pretty badly, but after she told him the rest of the story, he should've understood she was pushed into a loveless marriage by a domineering father. Did his 'punishment' fit her 'crime'? Still a peachy ending.

A very complete story.

And well told, too

Thanks

HP

10

It is the psychology of it that makes little sense. Troy can draw a line from the event of her humiliating him to the loss of both his parents. Staci may have not done the deeds which lead to their deaths but her direct actions were the catalyst. She had six years to make amends in fact she could have done so the very next day if she had been sincere. So her family destroys his in this modern Romeo and Juliet. And through no action of hers' all is forgiven. His actions lead to her father's suicide. No matter what her relationship with her father or how strained it was, deep down she will always know this. And they live happily ever after. Very unlikely.

a very good story. Five stars. The year of proposals was over the top and a bit foolish. I expected him to turn the tables much sooner.

It is a good thing we can disagree without being nasty. If you think back through the story you will find several references to some type of problem between Staci's father and Troy's. There is never any reference to specifically what it was, but in some manner Troy's Dad put one over on Staci's. This angered Staci's dad and put him on a trail of revenge.

Now bring in the Romeo and Juliet scene with David Porter being the dagger and subsequent events which add to the drama of the tall.

Buchanan's own view of himself and eventual mental breakdown were brought about by his own arrogance and subsequently his suicide.

While I don't agree with your conclusion, you have made a very nice argument.

While this may be a little Pollyannaish of me if these two young people have the love as demonstrated in the telling of this tale, I give it high marks for success.

Never ever underestimate the power of a woman's love ( From an old Jimmy Dean song).

Your most humble servant

auhunter04

The title does not seem to reflect the story. The scam he ran with the Siberian would never have bothered a Tycoon with a good. My preference would have been to let her off the hook in one week, after all, he has needs....

I have to wonder just how badly she felt about her father's suicide, seeing as how she blamed him for forcing her into a miserable marriage because HE didn't want to be humiliated by her. Although unless dad actually had a bunch of thugs forcibly detaining her, what was it that made her do as he wanted? The whole father-daughter relationship was a tangled mess of conflicting emotions.

Left unexplained is whether the year of proposals was Troy deliberately making her humiliate herself as some sort of penance or test, or if he really meant his refusals and the year was how long it took her to wear him down and win him over.

To all the folks that think that Staci will have a problem with Troy for indirectly causing her father's suicide, are mistaken. Her miserable father supported the beating by her husband to put her in a coma. That's unforgivable in my book.

But you should consider all the abused spouses that stay after being put into the hospital multiple times before you make a statement like that.

For that psychological type it is forgivable.

But I must be honest: this one sucks big time. Reading this story is like looking through a toilet tissue roller and trying to walk in the dark.

The story lacks scope and it is filled with mostly unforgettable, neurotic, & narcissistic characters.

I don't care for any of the characters, and I care less for Staci and Troy.

When I don't care about the main characters in a story --- and the story is about three little kids knowing each other since Kindergarten who grew up to fuck each other and then fuck each other over.... for years and their try to do Kim Kardashian and Sarah Palin BS out of their idiocy (thinking they're the center of importance and the audience had better get with program) --- it is a sign it is a bad story.

Of course, a story is not bad just because I say it is. But if it is bad, like it is in THIS CASE, it doesn't matter what I say, it is STILL a bad story.

Please, author, again, understand that I loved almost all of your previous stories. And I tried to give this a fair shot... by reading leisurely, hard as it was shortly after the fake set-up for the fake rejection at the fake great gathering... by reading it all the way to page 4... and then I just skipped to the last page and I just rated a "1," since it turned out to be badly clichéd, too.

I hate reading about characters with upper middle school or high school freshman intelligence and mentality telling us they're in charge of banks, police squads, hospitals, colleges and universities, research labs, giant businesses, etc.

It's BAD!

Enjoyed every minute of it. Please keep those stories coming!

choosing instead to run away with he former boyfriend after personally picking out her own rings

her father declares financial war on him

the disputes result in the death of his parents

his PA is a spy for his enemy

and yet he takes back the "childhood sweetheart" who betrayed him, marries her, and raises a family?

if it sounds too good to be true??????

. . . Do we need to have the conversation about stripes, spots, and past behaviour? .

Terrific theme and plot, interesting and engaging characters and a overall fun outcome. Some periods where characters defied understanding (i.e. Staci's proclamation of undying love after running away from the "expected" proposal). The overall "chess" match was intriguing though a bit farfetched. But this is make believe land here. Really enjoyed this tale.

Thank you and please keep writing!