All Comments on 'Intrusion Ch. 01'

An interesting beginning of a story.

Who is the alien that interferes with human minds?

What are the intentions of this alien?

What will happen between Lucy, Liam and Denzel?

I must admit, however, that there is a part of the story that worries me, what relationship will develop between Rebecca and Kate? Will they become a lesbian couple?

I would not like this aspect in the story (my own personal demons, I'm sorry, but it is), I understand that this is Lit, but I am straight, and I like the relationships between man and woman, I already had my problems in the Life with relationships between lesbians and me. I respect them and I am not against them, but they are no longer part of my book.

I apologize if this comment bothers someone, but my personal experience was painful in my feelings.

Anyway, 5 * for you.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

Thank you for your feedback. I'm not going to give away where the story is heading, but I'll say that lesbianism isn't a big part of it. On the other hand, as you'll know if you've read some of my other stories, it isn't something I shy away from, so I'm afraid it isn't going to be zero percent, either.

Can't wait for the next part. Good so far.

Interesting start, looking forward to seeing the next chapter.

I stopped at the first paragraph.

“The capsule span, out of control...”

If you fuck up the past tense of spin then there really is no point in going further.

You are mistaken; in British English, "span" is a grammatically correct alternative form for the past tense active voice of "to spin". Now, on the other hand, one could certainly argue that "spun" would have been a better word choice, as it is much more common even in British English, and would have been less jarring to American readers (for whom, as you say, it would be flat-out wrong).

But, on the gripping hand, if "span" is good enough for Douglas Adams and JK Rowling (and it is), then it's good enough for me :)

Technically it is past of verb spin, but it is an archaic meaning and not used in current day.

Spun is used in the modern world since the wheel was invented.