All Comments on 'Invading Memories'

Thanks for the hard on! Have you thought about a second chapter? You sure left the story open for added chapters.

A single asterisk is not enough to clearly define what is and is not a memory. It is very easy to miss it and that leads to confusion. Put five or six on their own line to clearly define the change.

Otherwise, fair start to a story.

@dlew Next time, I will remember that if I do a memory story to put more asterisks. @Anon Also, the point of this story was to give you a hard on. -_~ glad it helped , I hope many others love my story as well. if it keeps above 4 then I will definitely post the other chapter.

I would consider putting flashbacks in italics. Or you could indent them. I think Anon is right about it being easy to miss the asterick. The italics will be clearer.

Overall, good story... I would get someone to go over it or get an editor so that mistakes don't take away from it or slow the reader down. Little errors like that are really easy to fix.

I'd like to know a bit more about what type of group the narrator fits in. What's his name? Maybe talk about the dating history of both boys. Was Steve not known to date or anything like that? How about the narrator--has he had any interest in guys before?

Continue to develop the characters, but I like it and can't wait to see how they interact now that it is the 'morning after'.