All Comments on 'Invasion of the Pussy-Snatchers Act 03: Anna's Story'

I admire how you tempt and tease the heterosexuality of characters both familiar and new; it seductively exposes that erotic side of your series. You certainly have a literary knack for detailing "straight to lesbian"...it's wonderful, sinful, and most significantly to me in my opinion, exposes that corrupt hedonistic side of our human nature that craves for sexual wanderlust more so than any other fantasies. It's satisfying and this is not a statement I make lightly.

I've read too many works on this site and other published mediums where women are charmed by other women with sexual acts without properly fleshing out the emotions and other intensities a straight women feels being seduced and/or hit on by another woman, but you've hit the the Power Ball. Heck, the only other stories I know that go into similar light with your work is the "Idol of Lesbos" series and "Croft's Landing" from Literotica, though yours takes the cake in being more detailed, erotic, PLOT-DRIVEN, and with plenty, and I mean plenty, of room to expand such as how your mentions of Canada and Brazil.

Your characters are full of life and intrigue, and some readers may relate to their inner turmoils such as Anna's (now defunct) stance on her bicuriosity, or perhaps twisted visions of erotica like I harbor and I did not mean that in a "creepy" way, for yet lack of a better term. They are not 1 dimensional cut-outs from other works and believe me when I've read a plethora of literature. You of course are not afraid to step out of some of the conventionalities of literature, or erotic literature for that matter, by of course completing one awe-inspiring feat: a series entirely devoted towards women seducing women sprinkled with drama, romance, sci-fi, horror, thriller, suspense, and hopefully in the future, action, murder, and mystery. I'm surprised myself how you are not on the Mind Control Hall of Fame list (YET), but I hope this will change.

I appreciate how you've answered a burning question from a loyal follower of your series in answering Anna's position on her sexuality. Your inclusions of that right there has earned you a special place in my mind where only the greatest literary works of discipleofeternity's favorites dwell. You have done something marvelous and that was incorporating the introduction, and inevitable seduction, of an asexual character. The sex scenes are well-descript and certainly rival any others I've read from authors published by well established companies.

Certainly I have fallen unto my knees in worship of the "Invasion of the Pussy Snatcher" series...

And I mean "worship" metaphorically...I think. =)

1. "...with ^^as many women as possible^^ to add greater numbers to the Hive. Anna wanted to share this incredible experience with ^^as many women as possible^^."

This was quoted from the 1st page of this chapter, though with a few of my additions to better highlight the issue. I forgot what this term was called when I took English, but using two similar phrases within the same or two sentences makes it "overused". This was just something I noticed that you should keep an eye out for when you're editing the next chapter.

2. The description of this chapter stated something along the lines of Anna and her Professor seducing the entire female student body of the class, but the only women seduced were Sarah and Daphne. I wouldn't dare go as far to call it false advertising and I do encourage you to correct me if I'm wrong, but just be mindful of what the synopsis of a chapter says and what you actually write in it. For example, I can write a synopsis that states John Doe is fighting a horde of zombies when what I actually write is John Doe fighting the reanimated corpse of his lover, Jane Doe...and maybe an undead bear. See what I mean? It's not so subtle when readers notice it.

3. I would have liked if you included more intimate details of Anna's encounter with the Queen and her absolute surrender of willpower and heterosexuality rather than her falling on her knees and englufing her (it's???) phallus. I thought that would be fitting since you gave us readers flashbacks of what happened before the depraved events were planned and carried out in the school. But hey, that's just me I guess.

4. I thought this was a BIG plot point, but somewhere in Chapter 2, I noticed you writing a description about how the pod(s) inside a woman can be removed surgically, but at the cost of her own life. If you can perhaps elaborate more on that in future chapters, that would be great.

5!!! Bringing back to similar light of point #4, it would be awesome, even preferable, to incorporate some kind of antagonist to the Hive, like a heroine immune to the Essence or a man, perhaps a brother or husband, out seeking a way to redeem these women who have fallen so far down to sin, or one of Eve's own species tracking her down to save the galaxy...or something. It would definitely be interesting to see how it plays out as right now, the Hive and its subborned females seem like an undefeatable force converting more and more with each passing day. Of course, you can probably see some sort of eventual static tedium if all you wrote were the sexual conquests of the Hive without any sort of challenge to their order.

Well, I wouldn't be bored of it myself but do remember the law of diminishing returns.

I can use an example like this: decades ago, the Golden and Silver Age comic superheroes were basically winning almost every single conflict with their supervillain counterparts. Since they were the good guys and the Comics Code Authority was around, they were unstoppable. Of course, times were changing and the comic book writers wanted to add more interest and intrigue to the Superhero genre...and voila, you have heroes losing fights, heroes being killed, Alan Moore's Watchmen, conflicted heroes, heroes becoming evil, etc.

I've re-read the synopsis of this chapter and I stand corrected.

As once again, I stand corrected after reading the chapter's plot synopsis again.

If the Queen identifies as female, uses the guise of a woman, and despises males...

Then why in the world would she use a penis, or some organ shaped like it, to convert human women? Isn't that the sexual organ of their, what I'm inferring to be, enemies (men) and total opposite and antithesis to a vagina?

First of all, thanks for the feedback. I appreciate criticism that is actually constructive. Reading over this after it's been posted, I did find many errors I missed. I will try to be more vigilant when editing in the future, but at a certain point you just have to bite the bullet and post something. I've been working on this for almost a year and am starting to get antsy about actually putting my work out into the world.

As for your question, it is a good one. I will be expanding on that more in a future part. Suffice to say though, what the Queen possesses is NOT a penis. Though it resembles a penis due to its phallic shape, it is an organ unique to the Queen. The closest human organ to compare it to would be a female clitoris that can be shaped and molded to its user's will. To say too much more will spoil later parts so I will decline to provide any more information for the time being. Thanks for reading.

Same reason why we consider the dominant lesbian being the one wearing the strapon-on. Because the penis is a symbol of power.

I feel a little ok a lot lost in your very entertaining tale. At first I thought this was going to be a story centered around Cassandra but the last two chapters have almost nothing to do with her. I mean are these two women going to be prominent characters next to Cassandra? If so you now have three different story arcs to keep straight (pun intended). I don't get Taylor Swift being brought to the hive at this point.

Taylor Swift is the down fall of the hive, some many questions are left to bring light to them and Taylor is the linchpin.

Here is the crux of the downfall, all famous people have an army of people around them at all times: managers, trainers, assistants, security, paparazzi, fans. Lets focus on three of these groups manages, security and paparazzi. I haven't included the family because they may or may not be with her, plus that is a constant for all the hivesisters how to fool their families (namely, dad, brother or brothers, uncles) all it takes is one of them to find something odd and the gig is up,

How does Taylor get away from let alone fool them upon her return?

Her managers would not let her leave if they felt she wasn't in control of her actions they would have security step in. Security is paid to notice something out of the ordinary and to prevent her abduction, so they would not let her leave without a tail or a tracking device that she does not know about. The Paparazzi make their living taking photos and stalking celebrities, so Taylor leaving without her security would have them on her like bloodhounds chasing a prisoner.

Let's say that she does get away how does she fool all of those people when she is addicted to seducing and turning other women? Firing them raises suspicion the hive is to small to withstand any light being shinned upon it. Which would happen when she fires them and replaces them with women, plus she can't fire the paparazzi.

Taylor goes missing for a week her manager would have private investigators if not the police looking for her and well that means the FBI at some point. If you add in the fact that you have scientists at the crash site in act 01 you now have government agencies looking into two unrelated things. We add the abductions of other women in the New York area and you now have NYPD looking for anything out of the ordinary and an FBI task force looking into the women. Too many eyes to not be seen and one police raid and you have the Queen in the hands of the government or killed. Which would make for a very interesting turn in the story. I mean we know something is different with Cassandra would she become the new queen? Being human would that change the hive? Could she handle all the mind speaking to her?

You write a very entertaining story and for the most part I would love see more less scat and golden showers would be nice (Just not my thing). I understand why it shows the complete break down of the victim, dehumanizing them just like the military does turning men and women into killers. Look at the effects of that on soldiers who have seen battle.

You write wonderful spank material the sex scenes are great and very detailed makes me wish my stories were more detailed. I hate to say that I won't be continuing with the series, I was thing this might be another Cursed Idol of Lesbos story filled with the inner struggles of those being converted.

I think you are very talented I was just looking for something a little different.

Thank You for sharing such a story

Bokhun

Thanks for at least being honest and kind in saying why you didn't care for the story. Most people would just say 'it blows' and not say anything constructive. You are right that things don't quite add up if you apply real world scrutiny to the story, but it is after all a fantasy. Pull at a thread enough and the whole thing will unravel. I thought it would be fun to include real-life women in these stories to see how they might interact in this world, and based on the feedbacks and comments I received many others were receptive to this idea as well. Yeah, it likely wouldn't happen that way in real life but I never really intended these stories to be perfectly realistic. Probably 99% of the stories on this site fall apart if you pick them apart. Hopefully instead of demanding verisimilitude from a sci-fi/mind control story readers are instead judging the quality of the writing, the hotness of the sex scenes, and the uniqueness of the scenarios presented. That's what I hope anyways.

WHAT AN COMPLEX AND MULTI FACETED SERIES. KUDOS FOR CREATING THIS WILDLY ENTERTAINING WORK OF NON FICTION...

5🌟's

Thank you so much. I really enjoy the story.