All Comments on 'Is Love All or Nothing? Ch. 02'

I like where you are going with this. I would suggest you get an editor to catch a few grammar errors and clean up the wording a little. You may want to expand on effects

of Asbergers and the difference with autism.

Thank you everyone for the kind words so far.

I wish I knew how to explain difference between Apergers and autism but one of the fun effects of me having Asperger's is that I suck at describing stuff to an effective manner.

Anyone who wants to help with editing is more than welcome.

Ch 3 is partially written but I will the the advice of finding an editor first.

Excellent story line, please keep going.

BRAVO!!

High-functioning autism and Asperger syndrome are both part of the 'autism spectrum'. The main difference between the two is thought to be in language development: people with Asperger syndrome, typically, will not have had delayed language development when younger.

Many people with Asperger's Syndrome have very high IQs, are super functional in technical environments but their processes, procedures and intense focus make them stand apart in their own little world.

I worked with a few in the defense contracting world and it can be great or HELL!

You helped explain some of the stuff about Asperger's, at least the external stuff people can see. I'll be going more in-depth with Keith and his internal thought processes throughout all the highs and lows.

One thing to add, people with Asperger's also tend to think black and white, it's the best or worst case scenario, not much in between.

I'll be writing more about it and expect gaps in the postings because I want to make sure I'm conveying everything as best I can.

You inspire me! We all deal with our own problems but a lot of people use that as a crutch not to move forward or attain goals. Please continue your writings.

Now waiting for Ch. 03!

I started reading your story after reading your thread in the Editor's forum. I was curious about your writing skills. Although you could use an editor, you do write a very good story. I'm thoroughly enjoying this series. Keep writing.

Mark was truly an asshole and should be reported to the administration of the dating site. Obviously he will have his problems with the Law, but still it would be good to block a new try. Jackie was lucky she had backup.

First, congratulations on the story. I really like it!

Secondly, I've been worried about Keith's character and the comments in this chapter.

I explain, I dream in black and white, although I have a great ease of speech to start a friendship, then I am almost unable to continue such friendship, I find myself stuck very easily. In addition, I am deeply analyst of the people, and I tend to lock myself in. I am good at my technical (electronic) profession, but I have a lot of difficulty transmitting my knowledge to others, and I am exasperated by the stupid questions of people who have not understood my explanations, well, I am not bothered by intelligent questions, only questions Silly, and I tend to get angry with people who do not pay attention. I have never really been diagnosed as an Asperger, but if what is described here is true then, I am afraid that I am also a victim of Asperger's syndrome ...

5 * for you.

I apologize for my English (yet and forever), isn't my native language.

While the story was fine I could not get over it being written in the present tense! Spoiled it totally for me,,, I was rephrasing every sentence in my mind.

I agree with the last comment, the present tense detracts from enjoyment of the story. Please add some sort of break when changing scenes such as ~~~~~~. Otherwise it doesn't make sense, at first, for the reader. Didn't you say you corrected this chapter? There are still multiple errors in this which lowers your ratings.

The tense used in the narrative makes this story nearly impossible to read. Likewise it must have been nearly impossible to write. When narrating a story from a third person perspective (where we read from) it is better not to use "he is walking " but instead use "he walked". The flow is better and far less awkward.

The story lost at least two stars for awkward syntax.

Why wouldn’t the police have called paramedics to give Keith medical care?

I liked your story. I've taught students with aspergers and you captured the essence of their thought process and reactions. One of my students was very similar to Keith. Good job.