All Comments on 'Is This Seat Taken?'

Needs the rest of the story. But intriguing start.

i Was gonna make a comment about their imminent departure, but I look forward to you doing that instead...

Good start nice cliff hanger.

Look forward to the next installment.

You used a spare narrative to good effect, but it was a bit jarring when you went from first person to third. Was that by design or accident? I do hope you continue with this story.

That's it?! Where's the story? Where's the romance? All this was was a conversation. If its a multi chapter story say so in the title, you know: CHAPTER 1! Not even worth 3*

Did I miss something? Totally inane. UNLESS there's more to come. As previously stated. Otherwise this is garbage. 1 star for now.

Interesting, I presume there is more coming?

NorthPacific

Sorry for the confusion, all. More to come! This was my first submission so I'll know better next time if it's serialized. Thanks for all the feedback.

... or flash story, but since you’ve indicated there’s more to come, bravo!

I know that in writing for literotica it can be difficult difficult to judge the length of what you have written. As a rule of thumb 3000-4000 words are one page in literotica (probably a little closer to 3000). If you are serializing try to make your submissions as close together as possible. I for one, really hate to wait for weeks, or even months, for the next installment.

Nice work! 4*

Now finish the story

...the person's Daniel or an outside observer, which is it?

You have apparently made a reasonable start at this story. I usually like stories that leave you hanging - that allows me to use my imagination to continue and perhaps finish the story in my mind. This story leaves me up in the air. Where could it possible go, except for the obvious? The protagonists have already decided that they're going to have sex sooner rather than later. Unless you make this into a long story with a few traumatic turns it will continue on to an explicit sex scene and then protestations of undying love, etc, etc. What are you going to do with a cute start and some nifty dialog? Good luck! 4* for the start. You'll have to hustle to stay up there.

At some points it was first person. At some third person omniscient. Whichever it is, be consistent. Otherwise, it’s a distraction.

That's It? It was a great story. Hoping for falling in love, living happily ever after, etc. Don't feel bad,

there are many others who have done the same. I'd rather have a 3-4 page story than the 12 chapters

of so many stories. I'm a 74 year old grandpa, whom my wife calls an incurable romantic. Very true,

for these 42 years.

That's the only reason I'm on this site. Not into graffic sex all the time, just the man falls in love with

woman, broken heart gets healed, etc. A great beginning to a story. Think about expanding it a

few chapters.