All Comments on 'Island Debriefing'

<p>Alright bud, not bad. Though you rushed it and the story just felt incomplete. I feel you should of had more detail leading up to the sex by giving us subtle hints of possible sex.<p>

<p>Ex: "As we both move swiftly though the water, the glimmering of her smooth skin caught my attention as her full ass hovered just above the water line. Her eyes locked onto mine as she caught my innocent staring. "<p>

<p>Just try to avoid rushing into it and allow for detail to be more finer. Instead of making the reader skip the entire story to what seemed like a short sex scene and a short story if I may add<p>

<p>I kindly gave this a 3, but just barely just try to hook up with an editor/mentor to better your story writing.