by qhml1
that you have returned. High quality authors that haven't abandoned us (free readers) are rare.
Thank you...
About your comments on being stale,I don't find them to be that.All writers find ways of writing that works for them,and it may not be every ones cup of tea.But you should write what works for you regardless of what others may think.I know that some may not like the Southern way of how you put and place things,but I for one do.Keep it up as best you can.I keep looking for new stories from you on a regular basis as well as rereading what you already have posted.Not sure which one that I would consider as a favorite,there are so many that I like,mainly in the romance and loving wives sections.
A lot of unlikeable people in this tale. But as they say, "All's well that ends well." Welcome back!
I've enjoyed working my way through your previous work, and am glad to see you back.
Poorly written stories get stale fast. Well written stories even of well known and worn story lines NEVER get stale. You are one of the finest writers here, and frankly it is highly unlikely your stories will ever get stale.
Welcome back and thank you for all of the fine stories you have written.
You write with two fingers what people using ten can only dream of doing.
Dick Frances wrote a million stories about horse detectives, and Stang seems to have a gazillion stories...
I don't know, an enjoyable story is enjoyable. I think about writing but get caught up in the idea it'd never be unique... I think enjoyable is good. And your stories are better than good. Please, more.
There are a few authors on this site that stand out, and you are one of them. I' glad you are back, thank you.
I don't find you work stale just entertaining. I've read through you repertoire from top to bottom and have hoped to see additions.
Thank you for the hard work and time. Please continue.
Woodmanone
glad to see you back.. sorry to hear bout you getting sick. I along with all your other fans have MISSED your GREAT writing....hope you finish some of your older stuff...such as LOOKIN FOR AN EDITOR and some others....although any story you write I enjoy...thanks for sharing your skills with this untalented slug...
but it lacked any pizzazz. He kept running into people he knew, everyone cheated and died, and life was total shit for most people. I prefer a little more of a plot. You've written some brilliant stories and have set your bar quite high. This is just average by your standards and pretty good by most others.
The narrator was a survivor and a cool operator. The other characters were disposable and mere pawns to be sacrificed for the object lesson of the previous five hundred words. In real life , things would have been a bit more complex because when you're dabbling with a loose woman and she gets in the family way, the resulting baby can't be treated like a gopher in the County Whack-a-mole game.
Does this story rate with your best fictional output ? I'm taking the fifth on that. The BIG picture is that its a new year and its great to see you back in the game . Thank you for sharing and thank you even more for the Literotica`proof of life . I'm hoping for the best possible outcome in terms of your health concerns.
I'm looking forward for any stories to emerge from spare time left over from your current ' Take your Vitamins and Grind thru Rehab ' regime, but mainly want your health to rebound. If you hold up half as well as your stories do on multiple rereads, there is considerable cause for optimism.
You have written some great stuff in the past, up with the best, but this falls way short.
It is crafted well enough so you haven't lost your technical skills. If I had to guess I would say you don't think much of the main character yourself, so why would we?
You are one of my few "Favorite Authors", and it's great to have you back, hope you're wrong and you're health does improve.
On to the story -
First, I was sad that things didn't work out with Chris, I know it would have been kind of a "fairy tale" ending, but what can I say, I like happy endings.
Next, I was worried that you were going to have him get back with Sandy. I'm glad you didn't, and I am glad that you gave her some karmic relief!
Finally, I figured he was going to hook up with the seller, completely forgot about Gloria, very nice twist!
While there are only a few variations of the themes we tend to read in this genre, your variations are always welcome.
Glad you're feeling better. Thanks for the tale.
I have missed you terribly, your stories are always fun and have always have interesting plots and twists thereof.
Sorry about the health issues, getting old sucks, I have my own, we all do.
Still waiting for the novel!!!!! Let us know when and where.
Thanks for your offering. as always very moving and well written.
Thanks for the offering. Always enjoy reading your work. Your efforts are appreciated.
It's good to read you back again. My only criticism is that some of the names connected to (temporary) partners got quite confusing. Be careful and proof read.
Tiny Tim
Sorry to hear about your hand, but very happy to see you back. Your stories have a certain ironic humor to them that appeals to me and I would absolutely like to read more of them. I can appreciate the problem with the fingers besides typing. A person I know lost the feeling in their thumb and index finger on the dominant hand. Life changing issue having to look at everything you want to pick up or put down.
I enjoyed your story, look forward to your next one!
I read your addendum. I'm sorry you've been hurt and I need to check through your romances to find the one you commented on.
Good loving wives stories this last year has been pretty thin; too much of the 'happy cuckold' for me. I've got several outlined, but I'm bogged down with work and writer's ennui.
HDK was sort of right about this one, but I'm inclined to think it's more about the need to actually pay attention to what you've written.
I'm going to demur regarding two items in your story. First, your story covered at least two decades, and you had our protagonist personally repairing an apartment complex roof. Unless someone is a 'full time' roofer; that's a pretty risky thing to do. I haven't been on a roof since my forties for precisely that reason. Second, you were uncertain about the value of Gloria's house and she had an Olympic sized pool? Jeepers; that's a lot of pool, even for a deceased dentist!
This was a hands down five. I hope you get better, and please keep writing.
I just never get tired of good stories. I admit that some people are never happy with anything and always want some thing new and different every day. Somehow that does not sound to me like a recipe for cultural survival.
One comment I would make on the story is that with many others on the site sort of leads to a certain lack of faith in the survival of couples(families) and the idea of the State raising our children is definitely unattractive. So this trait does not does not sound like a survival trait..
Not just for this story, but the entire body of your work. You are one of the best, if not on top of the mountain.
and welcome back! Sorry to hear about your health woes, but glad to see you've come back out the other side. Cheers
I've seen your handle in the hall of fame so I appraoched this with high expectations but found it a little dull. Hope your health continues to improve. 3*
Definitely one of my favorite authors. Suggestion: Dragon Naturally Speaking. I write for a living (but not creatively) and hurt my wrist a couple of years back. One of my friends uses DNS because of RA. I tried it and it is great.
It is not perfect, but I can dictated and then edit far more quickly than I can type.
I've read all of your stories and I know when I see your name I'm in for a good one. Happy to hear your back writing again and pray your health improves. Enjoyed this one just as much as the others keep up the good work and I look forward to your next endevor.
You are one of the great one , writing stories. What ever sidelined you was tragic to you and us readers who love your work. Working with two fingers pretty much give s me an indication of what happened. I just hope you recover and are able to keep writing. A fan.
I'm a new kid on the block and when I checked your bio, I almost just gave you a 5 and not bother with a comment. After all, what can I say that others have not said much more eloquently? Just this: you covered an awful lot of time and characters in just three pages. Maybe it was just this dumb old country boy, but I had trouble keeping up with your transitions. Since it didn't seem to bother anybody else, I must be wrong, but I'm just saying....
BTW, I know where you're coming from with the numbness problem. I woke up about thirty years ago with all fingers on left hand numb. Doc. says I lost the sensory nerves, but not the motor nerves. Over time the first two fingers got a little better, but I still have to look at the keys and had to resort to the old two finger typing method. It's tough, but you might learn to adjust--I have. Cheers from the other Carolina.
Glad your are back. Try Dragon it might be very helpful. Good story and pretty good for someone with 3 fingers that work. good luck
Glad to see you submitting again. I've always enjoyed your work. This was a good short story. I wish there were more writers submitting this quality of work. Keep on with the hunting and pecking on the keyboard. It's much appreciated.
This is as always is a great story.
You brought the readers through the story, not knowing or expecting the ending it has.
I really enjoy your writing, keep it up.
Thanks
wanted you to know that 500 Annies and The Hit List (Chapt 4) are some of the best pieces of fiction I have ever read. Thx for the entertainment. You must be a good sport to be around in person.
this was not one of his better efforts. In fact, if this had been written by a lesser author, I would have stopped reading before the end of page 1. I'll pass more picky things directly to the author, but let me point out here what some of my bigger issues were: 1. There were too many wives, ex-wives, and hot dates mentioned on the first page. I cannot tell you how many of each Chill or Tony had. 2. The story did not always flow. Chill mentioned working overseas before he told us how and why he went to Saudi Arabia. 3. Way too many pronouns, especially considering the number of characters. At two points on page 2, I determined "he" = Tony. I looked back and found Tony's name last appeared four and six paragraphs earlier. 4. A number of characters appeared out of nowhere, and some were never mentioned again. Who was Ben?
I really enjoyed this one...even laughed out loud a couple of times. Glad to see you writing again, in my opinion, one of your stories with a recycled plot is better than a "new plot" by most others. Keep on writing!
Sorry to find out about your health problems; wishing you continued recovery. Great to have a Q story to read today! Thanks for writing. I liked the story.
Sorry to read about your health problems.
But happy to see you back at the keyboard,
nonetheless.
All the best.
glad to see it ended well for him. For a moment there I assumed he would never find a decent woman. Thanks.
sorry to hear about your health. May your stories, and fans, provide you with the inspiration to push forward.
Always been a fan of yours. This one maybe not so much. I had trouble keeping track of all the characters that kept popping up. None of them are very well developed so it was more a matter of remembering everyone's name and that isn't enough when there are so many characters in a short time. I'm not that good with names to start with.
Thanks for the story. Best wishes for further improvements in your health. I haven't looked at speech-to-text software in a decade or more, but maybe that would be a way around the typing problem. Then you could save our two fingers for editing.
How all of those people, including his own mother, saw her as a victim... but then WE find out she's a serial cheater...
Do we accept that a woman can be a nice person but cheat repeatedly - especially knowing she's hurting people in the process...? The latter would seem to indicate an improbability of the former.
But it's easy to accept that what Chill did was perfectly acceptable - even greatly deserved.
Enjoyed the story though it felt like you tore out whole chapters at times - not ones that destroyed the story just ones that were like missing a few days of a soap opera - meaning we knew more or less what was in them just not the actual details.
I have to respect a writer who is fully capable, but demands enough of themselves to be dissatisfied when they fall into repetition or easy safety.
Story: sorry to hear about your fingers. But i type with one finger for the Last 15 years. I am to lazy to learn LOL.
Got kind of confused with the Deb, Sandy, Chris thing...lol...most of the new computers come with a free basic 'speech to text' feature...started with Vista if you are a Windows fan...that will save you some frustration, I hope...Thanks for this...I pray that your health improves.
Not real sure about the motives and actions, but I think I understand your goals with this story. It was interesting, some fun and some disturbing. Hope you are well and continue to write. Thank You for the entertainment.
Sharp fast and hard. Very well written. Very nice to have you back.
Never say Never.
Stale? NOT!
Mayhap, your time off has stimulated the creative juices?
I for one look forward to you future offerings.
fwiw, the characters seemed a bit jumbled. Some names seemed to appear from nowhere. Maybe it was me not paying enough attention but it was easy to lose track of who was who from dalliance to dalliance.
"Ben sent me a picture of your face after he was done with you. Wonder who told him you were sniffing after Judy?"
as an example.
OK read. Kind of got lost with who was screwing who. I'm on the fence with Mitchell's revenge.
Well crafted little story. Both amusing and entertaining as we have come to expect from your stories. I enjoyed the intrigue. But one comment. He must have had the patience of Job to wait for 6 months! Look forward to future stories. Thanks for this one.
......and wow! There was sure a lot of divorce in that crowd.
I also thought his vengeance on his sister-in-law's new husband was pretty awesome. It weirded me out that he then married her some years later....and that the "sweet, innocent, hot" girl he described just a few paragraphs earlier, turned out to be a serial cheater.
Ah, well. In this old world, none of that is too far out there to be rejected, is it?
Again, welcome back and thanks for the well-paced interesting, if slightly schizoid story.
I have read all your stories and have downloaded many of them so I can read them again and again offline. However, like many others, I feel this is not up to your usual standards. Too many characters all of whom, bar Charley, are cheating - not very likable. Could this be plausible - possibly.
As a policy I don't vote unless I can give a story a 5. This doesn't merit one.
I hope you don't stop writing as I love your stories.
Great to see that you're back but this story was terrible just too many scumbags including our "hero" Mitchell. It seemed that every character was trash and got what they deserved so why didn't it end with Mitch walking in to find his latest love getting banged by tony? I think that would have been justice. Ah well still nice tohave you back.
I couldnt read past the point where you completely exonerated her for her participation in the affair. What crap. She loved it. Remember where she said he ate pussy better than a lesbian? How would she know unless she dabbled with women also? No one forced her to spread her legs and let it become a full fledged affair. Your self righteous hero became another Tony asshole. Your storyline has more holes than swiss cheese. Pure shit. One fucking star.
Don't listen to the other losers. This was a solid story. Good character development. Compelling premise. Nice tie up. I LIKE the happy endings.
Now for the love of God, finish the Houge Chronicles!
It was emotional and I enjoyed immensely. Thank you for sharing and please keep writing. You are extremely talented. Again, thank you for sharing!
Hope your typing gets easier or at least more acclimated as your writing is always enjoyed by the "named" readers. If there was only an anonymous filter....
As always thanks for sharing on Lit.
x
You are one of my favorite writers, glad you are back writing.
I really enjoyed the story.
Good to see your works, again! Thanks for writing another story.
I am really glad to see you back writing. I love 80% of your stories and because of my personal believes probably will not read the other 20%. I do some editing for another author on lit and would be happy to do some for you if you are interested. I am a 78 year old retired sailor and retired defense system engineer and have found lit a pleasant way to spend time. I know nothing about writing except engineering report and procedure type stuff but do have a good command of the English language and an ability to spot those little left out words that the writer can't see because he knows what he wrote.
Jim Kellogg
Your stories are so entertaining. Thanks for sharing.
I only use two fingers to type as well, but they are one on each hand.
Great story!
Welcome back!
I know it is challenging, but please keep writing!
Have you tried typing via a modern dictaphone or Siri? Yeah, they goof up some times but editing the occasional error would be simpler and faster than typing the whole thing. good luck.
Tony wasn't the one that married his brother. Tony wasn't the one that cheated on him. Unless they were gay, Tony wasn't the one giving away what was promised exclusively to Charly. Tony wasn't the one that killed him. That was all on Chris. She killed him just as certainly as if she had used a gun on him. The whole thing was written as if SHE was the victim. Tony didn't matter. If it wasn't him, she would have fucked someone else. Yet she gets to walk away free and clear. Who your spouse fucks doesn't matter. It's the fact that your spouse is cheating! If it's not Tom, it'll be Dick or Harry. What will it matter to you? None of them are married to you! They couldn't be fucking your wife, unless she seeks them out, and lets them!
Can't agree with you Krosis666. Tony attacked his marriage and stole his wife. He is totally to blame; I would have killed him. In fact, I threatened every boss my wife had. I'd tell them "I don't care if she strips naked and begs you for it. If you touch her, I'll kill you!" What are you; too much of a pussy to deal with a man; so you lay all the blame on the little girl? Safer that way, huh? Or do you like married women too, and don't want wronged husbands getting the idea they can do something about it? Either way you look at it, you're a sorry sack of shit.
of your problems...if I were selfish I would suggest a recorder and a helper to write it out for you but I'll let you go on that one. Just know that I have enjoyed the stories and places you have taken me in our minds. Your imagination has filled in many hours in the middle of the night when I didn't sleep - quite a distraction from whatever it is, wherever I am. Thanks Kid ..Scotty (slowrdr@aol.com) You can really spin a tale !
I cannot understand the death wish some men have when they knowingly have an affair with a married woman. If you have a death wish, eventually you will get your wish. Great 5 Star story.
Bravo, a nice tale of cheaters that interlaces them with love, lust, and death. A great story that shows why couples who celebrate their 50 year anniversary keep society stable.
Aren't you scared? You know, my dad, who I loved and respected so much, told me to not worry so much about the guys that told you what they would do, it was the quiet ones that you had to worry about. I think that he knew what he was talking about. After all it wouldn't be much of a story if the main character just killed everybody that did him and his family wrong. They did me wrong, and I killed them. Hard to identify with a psychopath. Good story, well written.
Sometimes I am not into your themes; but when I do read your stuff, it is always well worth the effort. In fact, I often read them more than once. Great story.
I wholeheartedly approve of characters having flaws. No one is 100 percent good or bad. Well, there are a few exceptions in the bad department. I enjoy your stories. Nothing is ever less than 4-Stars.
Your one of my favorite on here--but I hated every single character. They were all cheaters. Him fucking his step brothers ex whore of a wife was just disgusting. Like come on‼️ Why was tony taking most of the blamed? The whore knew that was her husbands best friend, knew that was her best friend hubby, knew what her & him was doing was going to destroy friendship/marriages/families. The bitch deserved more revenge than good dick. She's a cum slut that's not a punishment. Gloria is a reborn ex whore. Why does he keep attracting whores? Liked the story just hated the characters. They were a bunch of whores and douche
Don't you just hate it when someone steals your thunder. I, too, am glad to have qhml1 back. I consider him among the best writers. He is so consistent. As you said, and I couldn't agree more, nothing he writes deserves less than a four. By the way, Chill could have been a character copied after my brother. He, too, had a wife that could not be faithful. He signed a two-year contract to help build helicopters in Saudia Arabia. They gave him an obscene bonus to sign another two year contract and increased his salary by 40 percent. He, too, got into real estate when be came back. When he died he left a wealthy widow, two brand new vehicles paid off in cash and two showplace houses.
There is the inconsistency in the story of Gloria getting the advice and the “coming back after two weeks” and the re-meeting many years later. It is ambiguous when you say that: “The last time I'd seen her was almost six years ago, at the bar. "What happened to you? After our talk, you disappeared. I had wanted another date."”
That seems pretty clearly suggests that she didn’t come back to the bar ...?
It’s a small thing, and I really appreciated the good read.
Thank you.
Great story that didn't go the way I thought it would. Really enjoyed another one.
Decent story cheaters caught revenge punishment but no real hero heroine
At the beginning of the story, Gloria was single and slept around, but she wasn't a cheater.