All Comments on 'It Begins'

You've got a good setup going. I can't wait to see where this leads!

Hope to see many chapters ahead from you. Great story.

Very nice buildup. Kinda makes you wonder the way you describe it if it is a true experience which would make this even better.

Loving this one so far! Seems so real.

Not bad. I hope you have plans to add to it . It was kind of hot but could have went a little farther . Good job for a first story I will be waiting for more from you .dutch513....

The anticipation is killing me.

Great so far....... more, please?

Must admit to getting a hard on as I read. Hope you will continue the story.

The slow progression allows the characters to develop personalities and the suspense builds.

Excellent story

You've developed a pair of characters I'd enjoy reading more about. Your slow start approach is more attuned with how people approach initial contact with a sex partner. I will be looking forward to how this family story hits full stride as they complete the marathon, by crossing final barriers in a sprint.

Great slow build-up, good sexual charge between them both, not at all rushed, and very polished for a first, so I'm definitely looking forward to the next part, and the next and the next...

after he got caught the first time and deffinetly after the second time there is no way he would want to be around her. he would avoid and ignore her at all costs even skipping swimming. keep it out of the twilight zone if there was a few years between her catching him and them getting close enough for her to offer to let him see her then it might work but not as written. slow down this was way to rushed making it unrealistic.

I like this :)

for me its sounds too good to be true

I enjoyed reading this. I'm not into the older sister stuff, but this read well for me. Never heard of dish-water blonde. That's a new one.

can't wait for the rest of the story. it reads like one best!

Thought it was a great story. Would love to read more.

a very long tease,so please next chapter ASAP

Can't wait to read more!

I'm intrigued and I am glad you didn't have them boning in the first paragraph

I'm not a fan of slow building stories. However, the pace fits the exploratory nature of it. I think you should continue.

I don't mind a slow build cause it gives the opportunity for character development and makes it feel more real. You've set a good pace and I can't wait to read the next part. Keep up the good work.

Like the story so far keep it up. Do not keep us waiting to long

One thing you may try to work on is using another word other than "said." My writing teachers used to tell me this a lot and it truly does make a huge difference. Reading "she said" "I said" "she said" over and over seems to break the flow of the story. More description on how it was said will give more insight into the characters tone and personality too so it's a win win. I hope this is helpful.

Now that we are hooked on the story, it must be continued. Thanks

Very nice and room for more please.

I hope that the author continues this very good storyline.

I really like the way the story has started with young innocent interest in each other and hope that it continues and turns into a full sexual love affair.

Thanks for the read.

I think that the pace of the build up helps to make this feel somehow natural and hence realistic. This makes it all the more erotic.

Looking forward to more

great buildup. keep it coming

Hopefully it IS just the start of a wonderful journey. More please.

Just read ur story, will be waiting now for part two. Enjoy this one.

i really enjoyed it keep writing

Its awesome u have 2 write more of these may be making it a story series plz i loved it.

Please keep going!

Keep up the story and good work.

Good start. Now, your story mentions that at puberty, the changes began when he noticed the appearance of body hair. Could you give this young man a dusting of growing chest hair across the upper chest, perhaps a light treasure trail down to what is likely a decent pubic bush? This would add to Michael's sex appeal.

nice start keep it up you have the makings of a fine series

you should have finished this one

It would been awesome-er when finished.

I'm more of a long-distance runner, personally, and find that most "sprinting" stories are a collection of body parts, measurements and specific actions - not much to experience.

You're setting up tension well; meter out the good stuff gradually and go your own pace - you're doing it well.

glad to see you wrote more of the story. it would have been a shame to stop at this point. your writing is pretty good. at least very enjoyable to read.

Nice! ...got me hard, and a fun added bonus since my name is Michael ;)

nice story, exciting

Finish plsss

Yes i liked your story. What other stories do you have inside that mind of yours?

Please keep the slow pace, love it!

This is so hot. Some of my first fantasies involved my sister's because they were the first females that I saw semi undressed. I definitely want to hear more.

Thank you for writing such an enjoyable story.

Having grown up with 3 sisters I can tell you I had my moments... 2 older sisters and one younger. Still wish this had been my story!

Cant wait for more, im already picturing them falling in love, coming out to their parents, gettig married(doesnt have to be legally) just a ceremony maybe, having kids and the rest. 5 stars from me.

I am over seventy and this got me harder than I have been in a long time.

Don,t rush the story, part of the pleasure is in the anticipation!

Very nice 👌