It Didn't Work Out Ch. 03

"Sian, I didn't say that. I didn't say I don't want to leave him. I said I am not looking to leave him. There is a difference. Do you see it?" Bridget desperately hoped that Sian did. Plunging on Bridget tried to make sure that she did. "I said I am looking for a relationship with you and I don't know where it might go. I mean that. I've told Don that too. I warned him. I feel like I can love two people, but I'm not sure that is really true. Maybe it won't be. And maybe it won't be Don who I want. Do you understand now?" Bridget's hand stretched out on the table with her palm up. She hoped that Sian would take it.

Sian heard the combination of pain and hope in Bridget's voice. She hated hearing the pain. She wanted to do what she could to erase it. Tentatively she put out her own hand and placed it lightly on top of Bridget's. She felt Bridget's fingers curling around her hand but her own just lay there for now. She stared at their hands as time stretched out. For over a minute, she stayed like that as she thought. Finally she spoke.

"Bridge, I can't deny that you are very special to me. I do care about you. If you were single and interested, I would do everything to win your heart. But it just seems to me that this has heartbreak written on it; maybe for me; maybe for Don; most certainly for you. And I don't understand Don. Why would he allow this? Doesn't he understand he is risking losing you?"

For the first time, Bridget looked away. This was the hardest part of all. She looked back. "I will never lie to you, Sian. I promise you that. I've promised Don that too. I won't hide anything. I care for you too much to ever do anything else. Don wants to see me with a woman. It's as simple as that. Not as a threesome but as an observer. He is obsessed with it. Once he learned that I was curious, he pushed me to do it. Even when I asked him to leave it alone and warned him that I would have to care for the person, he still pushed me. Even when he knew I would have to go beyond caring to do it, he still wanted it." As she explained, Bridget felt ashamed and more than a bit dirty. She knew how it must sound to Sian. She could only think of one more thing to say. "In the end though, I made the decision. I decided I would be willing to be open to it because I wanted it, if I found the right person; someone I cared about and someone who cared about me."

As she finished, Bridget's fingers loosened their hold on Sian's hand. The two hands just lay there, one on top of the other. "Have I lost even my friendship with Sian?" she wondered. With the thought of that, a wave of sadness passed over her. She wasn't even aware how transparent her face was in reflecting it. But it touched Sian's heart. Despite her uncertainty about what Bridget was suggesting, she couldn't help but respond. Her own fingers grasped Bridget's hand and held it.

"Don's an idiot, Bridge. I'm sorry but it's true. He has a wonderful beautiful wife who loves him and he tells her to go out and find someone else so that he can fulfill a fantasy of watching? Worse, he says it's okay if you have to fall in love with her to do it." Sian's voice no longer held any anger. It conveyed more a sense of disbelief. "He wants this so much he will gamble with your love? He's not just an idiot; he's a fool."

Bridget started slightly. It wasn't that she didn't agree with what Sian had said. But she and Don had always used the word "care" to describe how she needed to feel. Of course, she knew that Sian was right. She wasn't just going to care for her; she would love her. Already she felt like she was falling for Sian. It was part of why she was scared. She felt the beginnings and to lose it now would hurt.

"I told him. I told him he would be playing with fire, but I don't think he really heard me. Even when I agreed to consider it, I wasn't very sure that I would go through with it. I didn't know if I would meet someone who I liked, who would be interested in me. And then into my life came you. Sian, I didn't become friends with you so that I could get to this point with you. You were so wonderful and great to be with that it seemed easy to become your friend. But I won't lie to you either. There was a part of me that did find you attractive and did wonder if you could be the right one." Bridget looked at Sian. Her fingers now clasped Sian's and they were truly holding hands.

"You are my wonderful friend, Sian. I wouldn't want to hurt that for anything. If you say that we can't do this, it's okay. I will just stay as the best friend I possibly can. I hope nothing has changed that," Bridget said. She waited for Sian to say something.

"Bridge, if it was just you ...." she trailed off. Her mind was running fast, trying to figure out her thoughts. "If it was just you, I wouldn't have any doubts. You know how important you are to me. And the last couple of days, you raised some feelings in me that I didn't know I had. So please believe me when I say my hesitation isn't anything about you. It's just that I've never been with someone who was in another relationship. Ignoring the stuff about Don watching, I'm not sure if I could accept knowing that you weren't only mine." She leaned closer to Bridget. "If I fall for you, I will fall hard. I can already tell that."

Sian stopped talking as the waitress approached with their meal. It gave her a few moments to gather her thoughts. The waitress talked with them for a few moments, making sure that they had everything they needed. After that, she left them alone again.

"You don't think I will too, Sian?" Bridget asked. "I can't disagree with you about Don. And I do still love him, but right now I don't care about the risks. I am willing to risk it, if it's you."

The emotion in Bridget's voice was getting to Sian. It was making her realize what she really wanted to do, despite the warning bells going off in her head. Of all her relationships, this would be the first one starting from a place of deep friendship. If she forgot about the complications, it was the one that held the most promise.

"I want to, Bridge," Sian finally said. "But I need to understand what I am getting into if I do. How would this work?"

As soon as Sian said that she wanted to, Bridget felt a wave of relief. "At least she isn't just rejecting me!" she thought. "She wants me too!" She had made herself very vulnerable in revealing her feelings and it was reassuring to hear. If Sian had completely rejected her, it would have crushed her.

"My agreement with Don is fairly simple. He gives me the time to develop the right feelings. He doesn't pressure me and he doesn't get to object if I am gone a lot. I don't hide who I am with or what I am doing. If we do ... things ... before we really fully make love, I will tell him about them. And when we are ready to make love, he gets to be there. Depending on who it was, the other woman could have involved him but I know you never would nor did I really want him to be. And lastly he had the right to ask me to stop at any point before I really cared for the person." Bridget paused as she squeezed Sian's hand. "I told him he lost that right last night. I gave him one last chance, and he didn't want it.

"I know it isn't perfect, Sian. I wish I could just give you all of myself, but I can't. I don't know where this would end. Other than you are right; this is going to end in heartache for me. I think one of you will make me choose, and I don't know what I will do. I've thought about that for months. I'll hurt one of you and I'll hurt myself, but right now, I don't care about that. I am willing to risk that to be with you. Are you willing too, Sian?" Bridget finally put all the cards on the table.

She let Sian sit there in silence. Bridget knew that she was asking a lot. A small part of her wanted Sian to say no and let her go back to her comfortable life with Don where she wasn't risking anything. But now that she actually talked about it with Sian, it was that the much larger part of her wanted this.

Sian took a bite and slowly chewed it as she thought. After swallowing she looked at Bridget. "I guess I have to join Don in the fool category. I can't keep lying to myself. You are the most amazing person that I've met. If you are giving me the chance to win your heart, I have to take it. So I will take that risk, and see if we really have something." Sian got a very serious look on her face. "But Bridge, however this starts, you are right too. I don't know how easy it will be for me to share you. So just know that."

"I do," Bridget said. "Thank you, Sian. I don't know what is going to happen, but thank you for being willing to try!" She felt her eyes well up and she tried to hide it but couldn't.

"Aw, Bridge!" Sian got up and gave her a big hug. Bridget returned it and at the very end, they gave each other a soft brief kiss. Even though they had kissed earlier that night, it felt like their first true kiss to both of them.

When they were both seated, they tackled their food. They had talked long enough that it was starting to get cold. For a short while, they focused on that. But it didn't take too long before they were talking about it again.

"So you are the one with the plan, Bridge. What is next?" Sian said with a smile on her face.

Bridget laughed a little as she said, "God no, Sian! I have no plan. I'm making this up as I go along. I barely figured out how to here. I haven't really thought past this point." She looked shy and Sian thought she looked particularly beautiful at that moment. "I wasn't sure I would," Bridget said almost under her breath.

After thinking for a moment, Sian spoke. "For me, I haven't dated friends very often. Usually the first date or two is about getting to know someone. And maybe then the next two are about figuring out whether or not we like each other. I think we already know each other pretty well and I think we already figured the second thing out." She shifted her hand and their fingers slid in between each other as if to emphasize her point. "So maybe this is the equivalent of our fourth date." She paused as she met Bridget's eyes. "I have this right, don't I? You want us to really date, not just jump into bed."

"Yes, I do. I'm not ready for that yet. I want it to happen when it's right. You are wonderfully sexy, Sian. You don't have to worry about me being attracted to you, but I want it to be something more than just going to bed." Bridget smiled as she spoke.

"Good. I want that too. I could have found a bed partner fairly shortly after Roberta left me. I wasn't looking for that." Sian lifted their hands up with the fingers still entwined. She looked at them. "How can I win your heart, if I don't give you romance?" she asked. Then for the first time since they started talking, Sian smiled in that special way that Bridget thought always lit up her entire face. It always seemed like her happiness just shone when she did it.

It was still fairly early in the evening. After talking about a few options, Bridget suggested that they go to a movie. There was a thriller playing that they had talked about going to see.

"Why not?" Sian said as she chuckled. "I think that at least half of my fourth dates were going to the movies."

They got their check and paid. For now they agreed to split what they spent. It was easier than trying to figure out which of them should pay. Before leaving, Bridget got out her phone and typed in a message to Don. She looked over at Sian who was watching.

"I told you, Sian. I'm not hiding anything from him and I won't from you either," Bridget said. She was calm as she said it but her butterflies were very active in her stomach. "It says, 'Told Sian at dinner. Going on a movie date. Told u last night that it was ur last chance. Tell u about it when get home.'" She hit the send button. After doing that, she switched her phone onto silent. "Anything he wants to say can wait," she said. Then she added, "I'm with you."

Seeing that helped put everything they had talked about into place. It was certainly a mixture of feelings that it brought out in Sian. But mostly there was the warmth caused by hearing the last four words. This time when they walked through the restaurant, they were clearly together.

After the movie, Sian drove Bridget home. They both talked about the movie and what they liked and didn't like. Finally Bridget said, "What I liked best was you having your arm around me and holding my hand. That made the movie for me." She had that same shy face that Sian had thought was so cute.

"I liked that best too, Bridge," Sian said as she reached up and stroked Bridget's face. It was soft and felt so good to Sian. It even got better when Bridget turned to kiss her fingers.

"Sian, would you pull in here please?" Bridget asked as they passed a park that was only a couple of blocks from her house. It was quite dark now and with the cold and now rainy weather, it was abandoned. Sian nodded and turned in to find a parking spot.

"What's up, Bridge?" Sian asked.

"You've been so wonderful about this weird situation. I want to let you know that I really thank you for that. I know some of this is hard for you, and I don't want to make it harder," Bridget said. She took Sian's hand in both of hers and held it. "If you want, we can say our real goodnight here where we have a bit of privacy. At home, I am pretty sure Don is going to be someplace where he can see us. I don't know how much that would bother you. It's your choice, my darling Sian."

At first when Sian leaned forward and softly kissed her, Bridget thought that was the answer. But Sian pulled back and looked at her. "Are you going to tell him what we do?" she asked.

Because of the kiss, Bridget felt like Sian was okay with what she knew Bridget's answer was. It removed any nervousness she might have felt. "Yes, I will. It's our agreement to let me do this."

Bridget was right. In the back of her mind, Sian had been thinking about the whole situation during the movie and the car ride. Unless things didn't go the way she felt they would, Sian was fairly sure she would not be able to help falling in love with Bridget. While she wasn't completely the same as Bridget, Sian had always found it hard to separate making love and being in love. She still wasn't sure this was the wisest thing she had ever done, but she was in it now. And Don's involvement was part of that.

But she wasn't going to play the role that Don was imagining. Sian still couldn't believe that he would push his wife to fall in love with someone else, male or female, so that he could watch them together. Did he really think that once emotions were involved that it wouldn't have consequences? If someone was going to have their heart broken, Sian was determined it wasn't going to be her. Don was her rival now. He might not understand this and she hoped that he wouldn't before it was too late.

It had also crossed her mind that Don's obsession was part of the key. Already Sian could tell that Bridget felt pushed to do something against her will. While a part of her wanted it, the more rational side feared what would happen. Despite her resistance, Don kept pushing and pushing. Each push caused a little fracture in their relationship. "Perhaps the more the fantasy seemed to be coming true," Sian thought, "the harder he would push." And kissing Bridget where he could see would be just the thing to excite him.

Knowing that this could hurt Don was an aspect of this whole thing that distressed her. Sian hated ever hurting anyone. Sian felt sorry that it had to be this way, but he was the one who created it. She only hoped that she could protect Bridget as well.

"We can do it there, Bridge. As you said, you aren't going to hide anything from him. Neither will I," Sian told her.

Bridget nodded at her. She wasn't sure which choice she wanted Sian to pick but she accepted her decision. She had to let go of Sian's hand so that she could back out, but as soon as they were driving she took it again. She was nervous. In some ways, this was the moment of truth more than last night. Before it had all been talk, but now Don was going see what he had done. Would he feel the same when he saw someone else kissing his wife? As much as it might hurt Sian, there was still a part of her that hoped he would be jealous and ask her to stop. That would go a long way to showing he cared about her.

Just before Sian pulled up into Bridget's driveway to park, Bridget leaned over and said in a very clear voice. "Remember Sian, I'm with you. No one else matters at this moment."

As the car became silent, both of them ignored the house. They didn't want to know if Don was watching or from where. They just paid attention to each other. Sian's right arm went up and around Bridget's shoulder and pulled her a little closer. She held Bridget's other hand in hers. For a few moments, they just stared into each other's eyes.

"Thank you for a wonderful night, Bridge. It was unexpected and it was odd, but still wonderful. I always love being with you but now this is a whole new way," Sian said softly.

"This night has been a dream come true for me, my darling Sian," Bridget said in return. "If I am going to fall in love with someone, there is no one else that it could be but you." She stumbled slightly over the word "love." She hadn't used that word before, only the code of "caring for someone." But Sian had said the truth.

Sian slid her hand up into Bridget's hair and pulled her face close. Both of their eyes closed as they cocked their heads slightly in anticipation of the kiss. At first it was a light kiss, lips parting a little but it was gentle. Sian could feel Bridget's breath on her and smell her scent. It was heady and she pressed into the kiss a little harder. Bridget's lips parted more and Sian echoed the movement; then her tongue move out a little, stroking Bridget's lips and then touching her teeth. Sian liked the slightly rough feeling against her tongue. When Bridget sighed, it caused a spike of happiness to run through Sian. Her passion rose and her tongue extended out further, exploring Bridget's mouth. Still it remained a light kiss; neither one of them felt quite ready to let their passions completely out. Bridget put her own hand behind Sian's head and ran her fingers through Sian's hair. After a few more moments, the kiss ended but they stayed close together. Once or twice more, their lips came together again for light little kisses. Finally both of them opened their eyes.

"That was very nice," Bridget whispered. Her hand was still stroking the back of Sian's head.

"Mmmm, yes it was," Sian said in the same way. She gave Bridget one more little kiss. "When can I see you again, Bridge?" she wanted to know.

"When do you want me?" Bridget said with just a hint of coyness in her voice.

The smile on Sian's face made it clear the thought that passed through her mind. Out loud Sian only said, "As soon as possible. Tomorrow?"

"Okay. What do you want to do?" Bridget said as she ran her fingers through Sian's hair. She tilted her head over so that she was resting it against the arm Sian had around her shoulder.

"What's a good date thing to do?" Sian said as she ran options through her mind. "How about we go bowling?

Seeing Sian truly trying to give her the romance she wanted, Bridget leaned over and kissed her again. Then she laughed just a little, "I haven't gone bowling in forever, but that sounds like a great date with you."

There was one last long hug and kiss, and then Bridget regretfully got out of the car. She waved goodbye as Sian pulled out and waited until her car was out of sight before she went inside. She felt a little reluctant to see Don but this was also part of the plan.

As she came into the house, Bridget found him in the kitchen waiting for her. One look at him told her that he was quite excited. He had that look in his eyes. He was behind the island so she couldn't see his crotch but she was fairly certain that there would be a bulge there. She walked over to the other side of the counter and looked at him.