All Comments on 'It was Just One Time!'

a 6'1" girls just 30 miles away ya right its going to happen.

I love bringing home cum presents to my husband. He enjoys cum xoxoxoxoxo Annette

Thank you. A very good exploration of the theme and the emotions triggered by it.

She will cheat again because the way you wrote it she has a thing about men's height and hers. She cheated very very easily.

So the way story is written its only a matter of time

Just drop this one into the "Famous Last Words" catagory, because he will find out.

Think you might be able to carry this story on for another couple chapters? It has definite promise.

Just another writer who is too lazy to finish their story! 1*

The Top 5 Outstanding RIGHT and wrong literary features to be found  in my HUMBLE  opinion. 

Legal Disclaimer: All assertions of balletristic quality are subjective and valid only in the singular LSD macrocosm and all associated and apropriate adjunct domains. Party will not be held responsible for damages stemming from cognitive dissonance incurred by mouthbreathers or cretin anons not staying in their  designated troll lane.

1) RIGHT : Killer droll opening line . " Thank God for Massengill..." LOL

2) WRONG : Dramatic potential left on table by not having Mickey ( husband ) encounter Rick ( interloping Lothario) encounter each other in some way and intuit in some small way their antagonistic roles.

3) RIGHT : Author challenged reader to bring A -game by tracking Julie at two different phases of her life, conforming in one and guilt ridden libertine in the other.

4) WRONG :  Dramatic potential left fallow again by not developing Slick Rick's heel potential. Shakespeare wasn't too lofty to set his blackguards ships aflame at some point of his high toned plays and neither should Reed Richards.

5) RIGHT : I enjoyed the dispassionate third person voice which neither huzzahed young Julie for conforming to society norms or scorned her frenetic attempts to cover up the hastily considered, illicit tryst. There was ironic subtones ...kind of if Penn Jillette was narrating . Big fan.

Bottom line(s) : So what did story mean ? What will become of Julie ? Will she repent or continue backsliding for further scrub closet frolic. The author seemed to leave it to individual reader and their inherent biases. Flip a coin ...it could tip either way - that's my guess. Tipping points like that are hard to construct.

Ergo the obvious rating. 

Full marks * * * * *

Comment after comment, story after story, Mr. Fantastic keeps flogging that dead horse, hoping to change the world, one category at a time. Encouraged, of course, by the Follyseer inspired lunacy of Lorddoggyboy, finally snapped and gone over the brink into the abyss of totally incomprehensible raving. Lick your lips, doggyboy, that foam is embarrassing to everyone.

As for Mr. Fantastic, good luck with your mission to save the galaxy from fidelity. It's a desperate fight, but I know your cosmic radiation enhanced powers will allow you to stretch to meet the task.

Thats an ugly story for Christmas Eve!!!

once a cheater always a cheater 1*

lorddoggyby, as Kimi1990 calls him, tends to linger around, addictively visiting his comments, and reflexively attacking those he deems to be out of their lane.

His current silence is curious.

there are many stories to be told if the walls could talk. However a many of fine ladies have followed the path of this wife and now not a lady anymore. I guess I have too much knowledge of the coming and going within....

and their innate ability to display nothing, BUT as usual the dark clouds begin to form, TK U MLJ LV NV

Its like speeding, you’re unlikely to be caught on a one-off; but if you routinely do it? The law of averages works against you.

This was a good story, but the backstory was unnecessary. We dont need to knowcthey were high school sweethearts. We dont need to know as much detail of their past because neither one needs us to be emotionally invested.

The ease with which she cheated is astounding, however. It appears she only needed an opportunity, not a reason and that is disappointing.

First of all, my thanks for reviewing the story in a calm, rational manner.

I actually started this story in first person, from Julie's point of view, but it wasn't working; I went back after it was about a quarter done, and switched to third person.

Glad you liked the Massengill opening. I needed an instant reader hook, and I hadn't seen that one used before. Wouldn't a woman who had stepped out and who didn't want to get caught make sure she didn't bring a creampie home?

The story isn't unfinished; it ended right where I wanted it to. Julie promised to herself never to cheat again, but I left it up to the readers' imaginations as to whether she does or not; I assume that most LW readers will assume that she does cheat again, but I don't assume that.

We come to a free sex site to read about cheating wives then we want them to have good morals and we impose out morals on others.Its a fuck story on a sex site.

If we had morals we would nor be here we would be in church.Good story. all five stars.

Yup!

I worked at a large teaching hospital for a couple of years, a LONG time ago, and the place was filled with horny women. A number of them (I could count them on my fingers) decided that yes, they did wish to copulate with me, and a couple of them were married.

More, things can happen quickly; long, slow seductions didn't seem to be the norm. A couple of flirting remarks, and BAM, it's on.

Nurses talk, and if the word gets out that you can take care of business in bed . . . .

"As for Mr. Fantastic, good luck with your mission to save the galaxy from fidelity."

Uhhh, the description of the Loving Wives is, "Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing & more." The premise of the entire category is infidelity. People who come to this section come to read stories about infidelity. It's kind of a shame that there isn't a Loving Husbands category, but I suppose that the site editors don't see that as all that an unusual a story theme. I suppose that I could stretch the category and write a cheating husband story, but I don't have any particular inspiration along that line at the moment.

I agree totally! So many stories wast time with, "We met in high school/college/work, dated," when the fact that they are now married pretty much presumes that.

The only time back story is needed is when it is pertinent to the current story. Maybe it shows a bond between some characters, maybe her actions while dating foreshadow her cheating when married,

Consider it the flip side to their Holier than Thou #METOO campaign. If they don’t like the fucking they get they cry RAPE on the guy.

"Why did she kiss him, why did she do as he asked?" - This is a key question, and shouldn't be left unanswered! What we're left with is, he was handsome and tall! Doesn't she expect to run into other tall, handsome men?

Then, this happily married, loving wife goes IMMEDIATELY from one kiss to fucking? At least let her go home and fantasize about it first!

Others may disagree, but to me, fucking my wife after another man has had her is "sloppy seconds," douche or not!

For what it's worth, I don't think she'll cheat again, though I think she needs to keep a tight rein on herself; if she finds herself looking longingly at some hunk she has to remember her post-fuck guilt. She has to avoid ALL work gatherings, just in case there is ANYONE that Mark might have bragged to! Ideally, she should change jobs.

A story about infidelity in a category for stories about infidelity?!? You gotta be kidding me! And she got away with it?! Where’s the fun in that? Where’s the violence? The murder, the assault, the axe handle? C’mon, man! We need our daily portion of women-beating on this erotic site!

Sbrooks, I suppose your wife was a virgin when you met her, huh? Good for you!

A story ending like this makes me want to suggest a second part. However, lets just forget it and end it here and save us readers the pain.

Meh. Not interested. Liked the background story and the character development of the betrayed husband in this one though.

Julie is just not very interesting at all. She is a run of the mill slut for the lothario that is fucking all her female coworkers as well.

Yes. Even falling for a players bullshit and her selfish lust once makes her a notch on dipshit's dick.

I don't think much more of this woman than common bacteria. She is also risking giving her husband a std or risking paternity fraud because she was a stupid slut that didn't use a condom. Even on the pill, there is risk of pregnancy and the moron she gave up dignity, trust, love and respect for is laying pipe anywhere he can it seems.

Good building of the husband character in a short story. I got a good feel for him, and like him.

She comes off as a simple, dime a dozen loser that doesn't, and probably never will, deserve her husband and will never really be his equal.

Mostly boring but 3* for giving a pretty good view of the husband and his importance in the marriage.

Julie felt she was entitled to give up her family and she was right. All a second chapter would do is cover the divorce and her version of lies about loving him and not wanting to hurt him.. all crap

Been in the medical field. Interned in an ER. There is immense sexual tension and most of the women are caught up in it.

While I never cheated on my wife or with a married woman, I was relentlessly flirted with and could have easily bedded a number of women, married or not. The women with boyfriends were actually more chaste even though not untouchable.

Pretty strange, no?

You obviously belong to the swingerjoe/luedon school of comment response, since you deliberately misinterpreted part of my comment to suit your agenda! I wasn't referring to EVER having been with another man, but to her coming to her husband right after fucking a other man, douched or not. For what it's worth, my wife and I were and are each other's first and only.

And your mocking shock at infidelity is another agenda driven comment. Yes, of course there is infidelity here, and we are not shocked or even offended to find it. Our issue is in what happens after, and if you actually READ my comment, I not only didn't call for ANY retribution, but expressed confidence that this would NOT be repeated.

Retribution does NOT equal violence. I once again refer to Richard Gerald's "The Bridge." Is there any violence, murder, assault or axe handle there? No. But there IS retribution, and if you claim that you would have said, "Way to go, Honey!" if your wife did to you what the wife did to her husband in that story rather than seek retribution, then I truly pity you, but somehow, I'd bet even money that you'd be breaking out the axe handles!

Frankly, by your definition, he should have burned down the whole lodge with them in it, rather than just strand them by burning the bridge!

As I am unable to read properly, that category description has completely opened my eyes. I now see the error of my ways. I had, mistakenly, apparently, assumed that your galactic mission was to free Invisible Woman to have sex with The Thing without any inconvenient things like guilt, pissing off Mr. Fantastic or the Human Torch, or any other unpleasant consequences. My bad.

Rick is a dick and will be bragging. He will be the source of his own downfall. Once the truth is out:

1. Mickey will tear him apart

2. Mickey sues the Hospital for their part in the end of his marriage so his business will be ok

3. Rick is kicked off the program and does not become a rich and famous doctor.

4. Julie is fired and moves away to get another nursing job

5. Sarah's home is broken because of selfish people but after her dad finds a better woman things get better.

That said, I'm gagging at how easily the cheating skank rolled back on her round heels and ASKED the predator to fuck her!

As to the scenario, IRL many decades ago I was married to a nurse who was on rotating shifts (a week on nights, a week on days, a week on evenings, etc.) in the days before most hospitals went to the 12-hour shift 3-days-a week scheduling. A couple of years into the marriage something started to feel "off" -- and while I never actually caught her (they kept it to the "call" room most of the time), I eventually confronted her, and never asked for names, just a quick divorce with her leaving with only what she brought into the marriage. Thus ends my short tale, and the shortest marriage of my long and (mostly) happy life. ;-) Oh yeah, she ended up married to him... guess I just couldn't measure up to a handsome young doctor....

Five * for the writing, but like others I HATED the ending! Makes me want to throw up my Christmas cookies! I absolutely despise cheaters, and demand at least a LITTLE remorse and comeuppance for their misdeeds. ;-)

The purpose of the back story was to show the similarities between how Julie was seduced by her then-boyfriend Mickey, and how she was seduced by Rick. I used the low light through the bottom-louvered closet door, and the "Kiss me" request from both.

Thanks for enjoying the writing of a story the end of which you hated!

Julie did have remorse, as written in the story. Comeuppance? Well, who knows what the future might bring?

This was a one-off story, about 5,200 words, written in one sitting.

No.... If she thinks she got by with it once, she'll HAVE to do it again. Lexington,,, university,,, cardinals... basketball.... KENTUCKY... right? 2, maybe 3 more chapters, man, I feel sorry for her and Ricky,, (not, P..) lol.

The similarities you cite are actually totally different! The one with Mickey was when they were both single, and it actually led to their marriage! Mickey WASN'T her boyfriend then, the time in the closet led to them dating.

With Rick. she was a presumably happy, presumably loving wife; the situations could hardly have been more different!

A similarity would have been if she had a steady boyfriend, and went into the closet with another tall, good-looking guy and cheated on her boyfriend, thus fore-shadowing what happened with Rick.

Well, her marriage may survive a while, but of course, it has been unalterably changed. They are now no longer partners. She has a dark secret, a form of "power" over her husband. Not to mention there is a small but real chance for an STD. I like that you stopped where you did, though at the same time I want to have a conclusion. It would be interesting to see where someone else would take this if you decided to let it be open for that.

All said and done though, the author has done a good job on showing the dangers of marriage. Thank you for that! lol.

Payenbrant

But it feels unfinished. I hope there will be a second chapter.

A very happily married woman instantly turns into a wanton slut just because a taller guy says Kiss me.

Despite the sexually infectious hospital environment. Any memory that phrase illicited compel her to ignore the guy.

You forget your character's formative years or you fail to understand them.

Because of her body type for years, she was verbally tortured, ridiculed, ostracized, bullied and just plain ignored by males. He shorter husband was her saviour, defender, and protector who stood by her and supported her through what might have been a devastating pregnancy.

Her husband did not hesitate in demonstrating his love and loyalty. I have witnessed more than one ugly duckling

where one male was her only supporter before she became a swan. All those women were unfailingly loyal to the guy who loved her while everone else was trying to make her life hell. Such women do not forget such love and devotion. Nor do they forget their tormentors and that type.

True this category is rife with unfaitful wives but you are the one who developed YOUR JULIE CHARACTER. Instead of having her remain true to the person you created, you demand the readers accept she would instantly forget her marriage, daughter and years of loyalty and devotion and become an insatiable wanton slut screwing some male she does not know in a storeroom just because her was taller than her. In fact you turn her into the aggressor.

A douch, new panties and a promise her guilt is all but gone.

I understand this category. Kimi1990 understands this category.

However, I also understand Julie's character. Kimi1990 understands Julie's character.

Either you do not understand the character you created or you believe all wives will instantly drop their panties and cheat whenever and wherever an attractive guy smiles at them.

Too much of a stretch even for this site no matter the hospital hothouse

12 years and this is the first ever guy to hit on her? People don't actually have magic seducer powers, so this is all on her, but it came out of left field seemingly.

You sarcastically chastise Kimi1990 then adoringly genuflect to lsd.

Reference your opening sentence here

The "seduction" was pretty pathetic but I just took it at face value that Julie is a truly pathetic slut.

"Kiss me". So she does and fucks him out of the blue.

I believe the author. She is a true dipshit.

They went slowly, Mickey not wanting to hurt his wonderful Julie, and both of them knowing that they couldn't make noise. Maybe that helped give Mickey more control, allowed him to keep his approaching orgasm on a slow path rather than going off too soon, but she had no need for restraint, and her burning desire for her boyfriend pulled her climax up quickly. His muscular chest, his hard arms and legs, she could feel them as he embraced her, while they slowly moved together.

But Rick needed no permission. He was not a slow man, but one who took what he wanted, and when he slid inside of Julie, it wasn't with love or affection; it was with raw hunger. There was no gentleness here, as he pushed inside of her with one long, smooth stroke, burying himself balls deep inside of her.

For a moment she glanced down, and saw his manhood, almost absent-mindedly noting that it was longer than Mickey's, though it didn't seem to be quite as thick.

Though over twelve years apart and totally different styles, in her older age she has chosen height to mussels. Her decision making process is out of wack. If Rick had so much knowledge about the storage closest, he has used it before and probably had it rigged with cameras to chart his conquests. Being in the health industry with out using a condom he cares less if his conquests get pregnant. As a student he has no income to pay for any of his mistakes.Instead of worrying about douching herself clean she should have thought about the morning after pill.

I would like to note that Rick, for being an accomplished cocksman. didn't last long in the saddle if Julie was leaving at 7:30 and she walked in her front door at 9:00 after stopping twice once at McDonald's and then at WalMart to buy new undies and driving 30 miles.

I would also like to address a comment you made on a story I wrote "Why did Jerry keep her". By supplying a back story to show how much Mickey loved her that should say it all.

My initial reaction was to give this 3 stars because the cheating was so out of character. After thinking about it, I figured that this must be just chapter one since the author spent so much time developing his characters; this chapter was just to explain the aftermath of the zipless fuck with the medical student. I was therefore surprised when the author said that this was it. He wanted to compare the seduction of the husband and the med student.

There is no comparison. Julie had always underestimated Mickey because of his height. Mickey didn't seduce Julie. She gave up her virginity to him after he was the first to kiss her, after 2.5 years of dating and after he was the hero making the game winning shot in the championship. As the author wrote:

"Was it the thrill of her boyfriend hitting the winning shot? Perhaps it was the naughtiness of being in her bed, with her parents just two doors down the hall. Maybe it was just that they had been together for 2½ years now, but whatever it was, their hugging and kissing and love for each other led to the whispered plea from Julie, "Make love to me, Mickey." "

There is no comparison. She isn't sure that she knows the med student's name, there was no build up to the unprotected sex that could lead to a STD or an unwanted pregnancy. This was apparently the only time she had sex with anyone other than Mickey. Since there are no plans to develop how this changes Julie and her relationship with Mickey, I guess the 3 star score is right. Its a shame because you built a strong foundation to a story but spoiled it with the meaningless sex scene.

I think you have talent and thank you for your work.

reasonable man

There is hardly a nurse in existence that doesn’t cheat on her husband (or at least try to) with a doctor. All the while publicly and repeatedly patting themselves on the back for being nurses. That is why I wish this story was continued, with a BTB ending (which I typically don’t like as much), because these nurses get away with this racket all the time IRL. It would be cathartic.

If you had read ReedRichards BIO you would have realized his primary field is romance. I have read most of his work and BTB is not his style. I agree that not every story has to be a burn one, but when dealing with infidelity someone always gets burned one way or another. I to would like to see a second chapter just to see how he would resolve this stories out come.

To bad you wont continue the story with the cheating whore getting knocked up with a bastard baby and getting a venereal disease with it, so her husband find out and beat Rick hakd to death after kicking his cheating fucking whore if the belly so hard her uterus and uboprn child drop out of cheating cunt

What kind of wife carries her Massengill douche around with her? Kiss me and then fuck me because your tall and good looking - watch out Mickey this slut is on the loose! One star as the story concludes with so many unanswered questions.

I highly expect it. And I think her hubby will find out.

I guess he didn't want to finish it.

Where does the author say he is abandoning the story??

Back story was pointless, especially given all the useless detail. Had nothing to do with the plot, if you want to call that a plot: Faithful intelligent loving wife gets hit on and immediately decides to "make love" to a coworker. Not fuck, that's what he wanted, but she wanted to be made love to. And nothing is wrong with her marriage? That's the plot you abandoned. I know, its really hard work, making adultery make sense. Let's just illustrate a short closet fuck and call it a story.

Men cheat for physical reasons, women cheat for emotional reasons. I sense you tried to make this a shallow physical event for her, but you should not have had her give her final consent to getting fucked by asking to be made love to. That's not lust, that's emotional desire.

Maybe someone will come along and finish what you barely started. It could go in any direction, so you shouldn't be concerned that a sequelizer will ruin your story. You can't ruin what doesn't exist.

Typical cheating bitch, they can rationalize anything to make it alright.

Thank you. A well written story about the dilemma that comes from a moment of weakness.

As an author, I want my readership to be hungry at the end of a chapter or novel, but not where they are left bewildered about what they read.

This was a foolish ending.

The author stopped it where he wanted to. It's not uncommon for published and quite famous authors to end a story at a pivot point .. at a moral dilemma with many possible outcomes. This gives readers the chance to play around with possibilities. They might even learn something about themselves by way of what they choose or prefer.

Good beginning that needs an ending.

I can write this story with the same plot elements and all the emotional and dramatic tensions of the original, but more concisely:

I'm tall and cheated on my husband with a guy at work. It would be bad if I got caught by my short husband. Hope I don't.

The End

...for not much of an ending.

BTB

A BTB story.

The end of a married.....!

If she really was contrite she would never cheat again and if Micky didn’t already know she could go on with her life. It would be chancie but better than telling him now now. It would be to fresh a wound.

In one of your comments on the comments you claim the wife shows remorse. I struggle to see it. There is guilt and self-chastisement at the risk she has taken but there is also relish which pretty much rules out true remorse. For that reason the odds of her straying again would have to be high, once the fear of getting caught wears off.

Looking forward to the rest of this story. I can see the trouble she was having to tell or not to tell. But I think most people will not tell unless the person is used to confrontation. Most people I believe would rather avoid deep rift type confrontation with someone they cherish.. Yea she did a shit thing but this is a loving wife story. right? So it's expected now does the hubby find out is she able to resist further trysts. Looking forward to the rest of the story

To help cancel out the morons. Blow something up over one mistake? Not hardly. Break the daughters heart? There's no really good reason.

It's people like you who are ruining the country. Your way or the highway? Bullshit. She should get it out in the open as soon as she can and find out if he's man enough to work it out. A real man protects his family. A baby cries and runs away.

I know some single moms who broke up their marriages over one mistake and they all regretted it later. It's no different

Who are you to decide what a "real man" is? If she is truly sorry, and will never do it again, why dump the load of shit on her innocent husband to have to deal with?

If he has trouble dealing with it (NOT running away!), and needs her to tell him things that she'd rather not (like the fact that Rick was good-looking and tall; while Mickey is pretty self-confident, he'd only be human to have some latent insecurities about those issues, and she maybe wouldn't want to mention it!), will SHE maybe get mad at HIM because he can't "get over it" as fast or the way she wants, and end up leaving him?!

"I know some single moms who broke up their marriages over one mistake and they all regretted it later." - Maybe because they couldn't keep their mouths shut and live with the guilt, and decided that their husbands had to be "real men" and protect their family.

I refer you to swingerjoe;s "The Aftermath" for an example of what can happen when a cheater can't keep it to him/her self. Now, you may say that the husband there wasn't a "real man." Well, my evil side says the opposite, but I hope that you're never in a position to have to find out for yourself!

BTW, as for "protecting the family," maybe SHE should have been thinking about that and slapped Rick when he got out of line! Why is the innocent spouse supposed to "fight" for the marriage, when the other spouse has already surrendered?

Yeah figured you for a used condom eater just like your buddy HDK. .never write again ya cucky fag

This won't be a one off. Her lover clearly expects her to, if not repeat with him, tell of his capabilities so he can bang other females there. So if she doesn't, do you expect him to remain silent about it?

He has her over a barrel. Screw him again or he blabs, the guy's running thought process as he was fucking her shows he is arrogant enough to do it. At the very least he will expect her to set him up as the 'hot stud' for her female co-workers.

So you have at least 2 possible issues, not to mention he came in her. Pregnancy? STDs? Her husband noticing her possible guilt issues or her overcompensation in their lovemaking?

But, for the sake of reality since it is being studied that more women are having the occasional silent fling, suppose she does get off unscathed? Doesn't bode well for hubby, since she has already shown she can be led by her horniness. She will only have her guilt and fear preventing another fall. Time will lessen that sting.

Given the presentation of the situation, the slimmest chance is that she carries the secret to her grave and never repeats it. Obviously that will depend on the writer, since this is a story, but if it wasn't I couldn't see this ending well for anyone.

The injured spouse needs to stand up for the family....what....he was ding that all along. The one who injured it needs to be taught a lesson....a very hard very life-long punishment. Such as watching the guy she cheated with getting his ass handed to him lock stock and barrel. Fuck the med school doc up good, put him in hospital, expose the whole thing sue the fucking hospital, etc. But annonymous wants him to be "a man and let her" keep doing what she already did. Fuck no...make her pay him alimony-righteous indignation for the woman to pay that. But this story needs a second part to finish the damn story.

"I know some single moms who broke up their marriages over one mistake and they all regretted it later." - Maybe because they couldn't keep their mouths shut and live with the guilt, and decided that their husbands had to be "real men" and protect their family.

1. For a divorced (and + single, widow) mom with kids to find a good second chance is very dificult. They can get easily:

1.1. Cheater second husband candidate

1.2. Drug, alcohol, gambling abuser candidate

1.3. Violent candidate

1.4. Etc.

2. BTW The best revenge, BTB when the innocent husband finds a good second woman and the cheater exwife regretted everything later......

I don’t see Rick as having her over a barrel: he had her once, and I tried to write him as the type who’d just move on to the next woman. You might see that differently, but remember: he’s got two years left in med school, and even if he likes to screw around, it’s not smart to try to blackmail people. One report of that, and he’s kicked out.

I know that a lot of readers want consequences, but most one night stands don’t get exposed to spouses.

I’ve pondered trying to write a btb story, but I don’t seem to be able to come up with a burn idea that hasn’t been done a thousand times here. I’ve done a couple of revenge fuck stories here, because those aren’t the usual LW stories.

Rick is smart? Trying to screw married nurse in elevator is your definition of smart??? Rick makes clear he intends to screw every nurse he can, married or single. No chance of getting caught there? No reprecussions if word gets out?

Rick may be intelligent but he assuredly is not smart.

Keep arguing with those who point out flaws in your story,the combined length of your ddefensive comments has almost exceeded that of your story.

Rick is just another version of "The Donald" who will brag about bagging the slut nurse so easily and Mickey will eventually find out. Julie is fooling herself with her delusional thinking that she won't be caught or that she won't do it again to satisfy her inner slut needs. She already has started on the path toward total disrespect for Mickey (the lowly blue collar worker) the poor husband with the low paying blue collar job.

I agree, and that's why I said in one of my first comments that she should probably change jobs, ideally 30 miles in the OTHER direction!

"I’ve pondered trying to write a btb story, but I don’t seem to be able to come up with a burn idea that hasn’t been done a thousand times here."

best endings from alot the of "loving wives" decent authors tend to be "our hero" just maintaining dignity and the moral high ground and moving on, no matter how cruel the betrayal and just letting the cheaters world come crashing down because of their immoral pastimes. it's so much more realistic than convoluted revenge fantasies.

arrogant privileged asshole= hillary

If we can believe the title. Married women get seduced and sometimes it happens really damn quick before the logical part of our brains sort it out. Someting like this has happened before.

What really struck me as being superbly crafted was the description of the basketball game and the role Mickey played on the O-line. I can not think of a better description of a last second shot not just in Literotica but in any piece of fiction I have read. Very well done RR. 5 * just for getting the sports right.

Vote 1* for 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐓 𝐃𝐔𝐌𝐁 𝑩𝑨𝑵𝑵𝑬𝑫 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐄™ (that's her work name) aka BONNIE/VASTIE aka NEEDYOU200 aka 5+ANNONY!

"arrogant privileged asshole= hillary"

As opposed to the dumb orange man-child in the white house who spent his whole life shitting in a golden toilet - true man of the people!

Today I learned bonny/vastie (on top of all her other crazy bs) is a Drumpf supporter. No surprise here.

Did I miss something?

It is your story, so obviously if no repercussions come that is fine. I was simply pointing out that there could be quite a few. Not the least of which would be those arising from unprotected sex with a serial womanizer.

As an anon said later, I can't picture your antagonist as being too intelligent. He is screwing women at this hospital, which means each female is a random variable in the equation. Any one of them could out him for any number of reasons, but he plans on doing it anyway. That is not the sign of intelligence. He might have animal cunning, but I wouldn't call him smart.

In the end you are the god of this tale so, as I said before, you control the narrative. I appreciate your submission and wish you the best.

Cunt!

''Low paying blue collar job...''

Just because someone works in the trades does not mean they do not make a decent income. Master craftsmen easily rank near the top of middleclass income level no matter what author implies. Add in husband's custom made furniture business, and more than likely her income did not exceed his by that much.

After all, he supported the family and put her through school.

His income had to be fairly substantial to allow for purchase of farm and costly house renovations.

Technically, the story was decently written, but the infidelity act is even too ''fantastic for'' Marvel Comics!

I know a guy who was union laborer in California for 30 years. At 60 he retired and took his $125K pension to Montana where he lives quite well. Five years after he retired, Social Security added $30K more.

No nurse in our area, retired or working is that well-compensated.

Now consider the fact that laborers are at low end of construction pay scale.

The author is correct in his comment initial acts of infidelity are seldom discovered. Human nature being what it is, having cheated once without reprecussions at some later date another unfaithful act will occur. Just stating facts.

Consider the following. You have perfect attendance at school. On numerous occasions, you felt poorly but you were adamant on graduating with that perfect record. Second week of senior year you have break a leg and are forced to miss one day. The next time you are fighting a bad cold, you WILL stay home and miss more school days.

No recognition is given for those with only on missed day so you will think what the hell I will stay home.

Before the first act of adultery, everyone aspires to have perfect faithfulness record. After first time, the outlook changes dramatically. Consider her initial cheating foray. No trouble at home, no workplace flirting, no seduction, no drunken revelry, no reason except...she had never kissed a taller guy.

To aggressively decide to cheat for first time for such an almost non-existent excuse assures the act will be repeated...perhaps not with same guy, but she will certainly cheat again!

One technical suggestion for you:

The flashbacks got a bit confusing as we were switched repeatedly between the present and the past. I think the story might have flowed better with just one flashback, early in the story.

As for the main character:

Julie will cheat again, and soon, unless you change her character or give her a new, compelling reason not to. Yes, she's feeling guilt and remorse, and she's promised herself she'll never do it again. But how can we believe that panicked private promises will hold her legs together any better than the public ones she made at her wedding? As others have pointed out, she works in an insular, emotionally- and sexually-charged, predator-rich environment; it will be all too easy for her to check her guilt and remorse at the door when she clocks in. The longer she successfully conceals her cheating from Mickey, the easier it will be for her to rationalize that it didn't really hurt anyone, so what would it harm to do it again?

Julie's use of the same phrases that she used her first time with Mickey, especially "make love to me," strongly implies emotional involvement on her part, in spite of your comments. It's another reason she will cheat again the next time Rick asks, or demands. (Perhaps that's also why she made no effort whatever to resist him.) And if she really expects that Rick the Dick will keep this to himself, she's living in dreamland.

There may very well be spouses who could cheat once, never cheat again, and have everything work out fine. Julie, as she is written here, isn't one.

--GA.

All you college, educated office workers don't feel to superior to lowly construction workers. Especially those in residential construction..

By mid-June we are working shirtless in cutoffs. Many of us like Mickey are muscular, tanned, and on full display for the housewives.

One time building a new house, the decking for the floor installed and we had just started framing the walls, when I glanced across the street. Laying out in the yard with her teenage daughter and friend was the lady of the house in a small bikini not much bigger than the two teens were wearing. I turned to let a co-worker in on the view, and noticed him gazing across alley into adjacent backyard that contained another bikini clad housewife oiling herself up. I took in the perimeter to discover we were surrounded by females sunbathing and perving on us.

Another job had two mothers with little kids in backyard. They were leaning on fence taking me in and openly talking about my muscular arms...one even called her little boy over to ''look at muscles on that man''

Some wives just lingered in their gazes and fantasized. Others were subtle in their invitations, bringing lemonade and asking that I returned the glasses. Summer we would start at 6am to beat the afternoon heat. Off at 2pm, glasses in hand, I would ring their bell. A couple of times the wife opened door in the nude.

Some were quite brazen. One snuck up behind me and began playing with my hair. She asked if I minded. Before I could reply co-worker stated, he might not but his wife would. She just laughed and said so would her husband but what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him and she wasn't going to say a word.

I was in early 30s. She late 40s. A beautiful, voluptuous Hispanic interior decorator. For the next two weeks, the rest of my crew disappeared a little after 1pm and I delighted in exposing and exploring her DDs.

What Julie doesn't realize is Mickey knows her very well. So he's been availing himself of those housewives on regular basis. Nor has Julie figured out why Mickey has yet to sell that one particular table he custom built to his height. In a couple of years, he will go full time with his business. Clients-read that pussy-will be coming to him. She's at work, kid in school, Mickey's in client.

From comments Julie is viewed as innocent wife. Must have been missed by most readers her comment ''I've done some naughty things before, but this wasn't just naughty. This was just plain bad''

Naughty is kissing and groping and being groped. Could even include oral sex in today's morality.

Given the suggestive nature of her past actions around hospital wherein she had begun to betray husband, no doubt Rick -was that his name she wondered-had heard the gossip.

Anyone defending her and believing she won't engage in further acts of adultery she contemplate that mental statement of hers.

I even doubt her claim about him being first taller man she kissed.

You are correct. I had missed that confession of hers. Changed my outlook completely!

I had not thought that her thinking she’d been naughty before meant that she’d actually screwed someone else, but yeah, I can see how it could be read that way.

For a nurse to make $80 K a year, she’d have to make $40 an hour. Even in Kentucky, that’s well within the range of an RN, with several years of experience, working in an intensive care unit.

Mickey’s choice to go out on his own as a furniture maker and custom carpenter could eventually pay very well, though I pictured him as not having been in business long enough to have established his business to that level. In my mind, I had him making $35 K, but, being able to work on his own property, it would go further than $35 K for someone working for someone else and having to commute.

Had she ever kissed someone taller than Mickey? I hadn’t written it that way, but at 6’1, she’s taller than most men. Rick is 6’6, deliberately written as being much taller.

Was meant to illustrate Julies train of thought at "That Time" when Mickey was just getting his business under way. I have two sons in the construction trade in Ca. and they both make much more money than nurses. I was trying to come up with a reason that a wife would disrespect her husband so badly and so casually without remorse. She has to be justifying her actions in her own mind and using "her life worth comparisons" between Mickey and Rick. Or, perhaps she just has a tall man fetish!!!

I thought you did a good job on this one, Reed. Many negative comments about how the wife would act were reasonable conclusions, for many women, but this isn’t the story you chose to tell. Your Julie represents what is probably the vast majority of women, even though the readers who were hurt by their wife’s cheating/leaving will never agree. I do understand where they are coming from, for they haven’t yet accepted they have done wrong at one time or another. ( I would have said sinned, but I doubt many understand that the word is appropriate .)

To all who point out what Julie will do, you are right—there is a ‘Julie’ who will act exactly as you suggest. You have the plot for a LW story; all you have to do now is write it. Judging from the way so many have commented over the years, surely we can expect to see a few modify Reed’s plot and turn out a BTB that’s a page turner. Let’s see how your Julie does it. BYW modifying the basic plot using some of the situations and writing a story with a different ending is not plagiarism, but I expect RR would so go ahead, even if it was.

During Julie's afterthoughts of ramifications she indicates she makes much more than Mickey. Though that would come from author.

My understanding is Mickey continued to work construction and had added his own business on the side.

Granted construction work can have fluctuations. Union wages, like other salaries vary depending on locale and that area's cost of living. Mickey's ability to craft custom made furniture puts him in a class above the hired on summer ''nail bender''. Twenty-five years ago union carpenters in Helena, Montana had top scale of $30 plus an hour. Top hands were kept busy, though weather did play factor. Working 10 months at that scale has Mickey pulling in $50K. The mountain west states have lower costs of living and union scales are not that of metropolitan areas.

Easy way for author would have taken one phone call's time of research. He calls carpenter's union for locale and gets wage info. American society has ignorance and even disdainful attitude toward ''blue collar'' workers including construction trades. Most have no idea of the demand for top craftsmen. For the last two decades a certified welder could all but write hie or her own ticket. Factor in only two years of technical school costing around $10K as opposed to the cost of college easily $50 for four years at no name institution..

I have always laughed at the elitist business types who considered construction workers morons. Yet day after day the go 40 pkus floors up in structures built by those same morons. Or routinely drive 80 mph in cars on highways over bridges with 100 foot drops all built but those drooling imbeciles.

Might reflect on that fact as to who is moronic.

At the time she dicided to cheat, according to story was she had never been kissed by man taller than her. Essentially, she had no reason.

While she had never had adulterous sexual intercourse before, she admits to having been ''naughty'' before. Who knows what author meant by that declaration but certainly her complete fidelity had already been broken!

Use of the exclamation point emphatically indicates no prior naughtiness, definitively declares she never again strayed.

Such an emphatically stated title requires author prove the exclamation point.

Absent that use a period a question mark or create a different title!!!!

Perhaps Reed Richards was only stretching a period.

She’s happily married to her childhood sweetheart and she fucks some young kid that will work under her and talk shit about her and ruin her reputation. As her husband if were me I’d divorce her either way . If she tells me or I find out I’d never trust her again and she works with this guy who will always persuade her . Definitely would go and break a few bones for self satisfaction. Also with a cheater like her who has a great rep as a wife and Mom most likely would have to explain to anyone who he has phone numbers and email for. I never understood why a girl/woman would allow their reputation to be put in jeopardy. I’m sure her hubby saw hot girls he would love to fuck but that is for the single

Interesting that you state the vast majority of women have acted like Julie. True we all make mistakes, and one time infidelities certainly are by either spouse have happened.

I hold all females as not to be easily, if ever, trusted, but even I, sinner and cheater that I am, do not believe a wife's initial foray into adultery would come about in an elevator with a man she did not know, seconds after first seeing him just because he was taller.

I am a card carrying mysoginist and even I would not paint married women with the broad strokes you did in your comment.

Oh but then I didn't take into consideration she admitted her extended shift tending to sick patients had made her horny. Perhaps it was one of her naughtier days. But those insights come only her aggresively insatiable act had need for rationlization.

Do not blame readers who have commented negatively for the author's character development.

Given the tormented nature of Julie's life before Mickey saved and protected her as detailed by the author only a moment of true insanity would explain her act.

If as a writer you truly believe that this author kept her character true to the one he took great pains and extended time and words to develop then we are simply in disagreement.

Real world situation before night is out with her saying nary a word, he WILL KNOW. He won't say a word but the distance between them will grow.

Forgiveness is never given if never asked for!

The commenter to whom you seemed to be responding, did not indicate any thought of her screwing around prior to this time. The comment just pointed out she admitted to have been ''naughty'' before and listed what she might have meant. You just plopped that bare tidbit in without even a sentence of explanation. As the author you are responsible for the confusion you created. If you decide against taking the honest criticisms into account when developing future characters so be it.

You have good following and high scores in Romance section, so I grant you are talented writer. You have made numerous comments. This story in a few months will break 300 comments so you have created great interest.

You have also created much confusion. No need for you to clarify anything should you chose against doing so.

Neither did that comment include any thought about her kissing anyone taller than Mickey. The ''taller than'' referred to Julie.

But since you brought it up, just how naughty was she?

Mickey gave her her first kiss and according to you they were thereafter inseparable.

I just can't get worked up over someone as pathetic as Julie.

A woman that unstable, as Reed wrote her, isn't worth the time of day.

This story isn't that compelling . I do believe too many are attributing too much energy for an apparently mentally unhinged woman that fucked co-worker in a closet because he said kiss me once.

I can't drum up interest in her. In all honesty, a woman that unhinged would have a slew of other issues that would negativity impact her life.

I've seen a lot of women cheat but none this self destructive ever rose above minimum wage jobs and certainly never had the same father for all their children.

...be able to hold on to farm? Are taxes that high. In the immediately preceding paragraph to when Julie wonders if Mickey could hold on to property, the author clearly states they had paid for it in CASH.

As for Mickey being to proud to accept alimony that pride went with her fall.

Lots of ''in the real world'' comments so...

No fault state 50-50 split of money from sale of house unless one chooses to buy other out. According to author her income is twice his, he put her through college, she pays him at least $3K a month for years. She will have primary custody no child support as child is female. So she pays for daycare.

Chances of her marrying doctor...hmmm...cheating nurse with so-so looks in her 30s with kid. Nope but plenty of them will be eager to be ''naughty'' with her.

...to her being ''naughty'' paragraph. Paragraph ends with her wondering ''how the Hell am I going to make up for this one?''

Only one inference to be drawn from that statement. Though she had never screwed someone before, she had been caught or Mickey was told about her one more than one occasion doing something of a sexual nature with another man but she made up for it someway.

That means Mickey has been on alert for sometime. Douche won't wash away guilt in her eyes.

As another has noted with first look at her Mickey will know!

You claim she was SEDUCED by Rick. If his saying two words is your idea of seduction you are in prepubescent fantasy holding pattern. Your story actually has her sexually attacking him.

Appears your in one sitting effort you were watching TV saw douche commercial and that inspired your clever hook and words just ''flowed out''

Technically well written but numerous honest points detail the flaws in this admittedly rushed story.