All Comments on 'It's The Way You Look At Me Ch. 01'

Looking good. Please don't leave the story abruptly. ....

Good story and character development. Keep it up. Don't let the story "die on the vine". All too often, a writer submits a chapter 1 and we never get a chapter 2. Thanks for the story.

I thought this was a very well written piece. You obviously do your research well because the scenes, locations, and actions you describe are more than just believable they are richly delineated and somehow seem complete rather than a simple facade that's good enough for a glimpse of what it looks like. The football sequence was clear, understandable, believable, etc. I applaud your ability, and your dedication to really flesh these details out and not succumb to the temptation to rush through and only provide sketchy descriptions of these important story components. All the better to do it without it becoming tedious to read. It makes for a richer experience for the reader. The sex scenes were arousing to say the least. The tender moments were tender while maintaining sexual tension that one could feel. Good job. But then you are used to doing that as evidenced by the number of stories shown in your profile rated at 4.5 of better. You've got a new fan. I'll give it a 5, and I rarely vote, and even more rarely give a 5.

You have already stated in your introduction that this story is about 500 pages in MS Word, so I am not at all concerned about you not publishing more of this story.

You write a good story. This opening chapter makes Owen's tale of high school football mania a slice of real life, complete with beer, chewing tobacco (although I am not sure how popular that is in high schools up north), booze, weed and sex. Your handling of these details shows a fine sensibility.

I look forward to seeing what happens with all the players and their girlfriends and their cheerleaders (when not their girlfriends) as the story develops. Thank you.

Its Corps not Core....other than that really liked it

Definitely entices a reader to come back for more. Interesting characters, nicely paced, and engaging story. Well done!

Looking forward to further chapters.

Owen seems a well put-together guy, able to handle himself with the crazy Courtney and his cousin Jamie. Give Owen the maturity of some hair for that muscular chest and abs. I hope Jamie seems him with his shirt off and strokes that delicious chest of his and sees his hard cock.

Great start, I can't wait for the next installment.

This is a good story, but has almost no sex. Just story. Seriously. This NEEDS more sex. Fix it, or this story sounds like shit to me.

Great needs second installment

Don't worry about Anon's gripe with the lack of sex. The characters and story are so far engaging, and like any good love story, this looks like it will have the depth. Keep them coming. :)

Make that a complete ass. At 18, Courtney is not a child. She is responsible for her own actions, even if she's acting like a little girl. Dad obviously thinks women are incompetent.

What Dad needs is a WM to kick him hard in the place where that attitude came from. His parenting skills are FUBAR.

Liked the story, though. Good job.

Kneel. A knell is a sound, either from a bell, or having bell-like tonal qualities.

Sorry I screwed up the Corps thing. No disrespect, just a big oversight on my part. Chapters 2, 3 and 4 have been sent in and are pending.

It's a good story!

Sure liked the part at the beach with his cousin.

I hope the next CH. will be even better! (Y)

I love this

Ty

A little too much background info, for almost an hour I thought I was reading a football story, like someone going on and on and not getting to the point.

I really enjoy this series. I have read it a number of times. Just as good as the first time. Hopefully you can write more soon.

This is really worth the read. Keep going foreword.

the story is good, but, the male main character does not always have to be 6 feet or over.

I am so truly tired of there never being Nerds in these stories, Not every guy on the planet is a 6' or taller jock who plays ever port. Be creative once in a While,

hell, most jocks can not even read, past a 6th-grade level. yet most jocks in these stories are great at everything they do. trust me there are zero astrophysicists Male or Female out there who look like Indiana Jones and none of them come close to looking like Boe Derick of the '80s.

That comment is so ignorant, first off the character is a HS Quarterback for football, QBs in football are normally quite tall. So to fit his story yes his character did have to be tall. Yes not all jocks are over 6 ft tall but in this context it makes sense. And there are plenty of stories on this site where the male is under 6 ft tall, just go look for them.

And most HS jocks can easily read past a 6th grade level, thats some of the most insulting shit I have read, especially as a former jock with a college degree. And the main character isnt that special beyond his football ability, I believe his college degree is Communications. His cousin Jamie is the smart one. Stop being so ignorant and maybe read the rest of the chapters before making statements like that.

It appears to me your criticism is centered more on the jealousy you feel about not being able to write a story as good as this one. And it always makes me laugh when someone posts a comment criticizing the story when they don't even proofread their own comments for grammar and spelling errors.

reading this. it's a very hot, sexy, romantic fun story. keep reading

very good so far

But the story is great.

Pretty good except for Owen dipping snuff. His mother died from cancer and that didn't scare him straight? There's a far greater chance for him to be at risk just because of his mom. At least you cast a bad light on Ronnie and his filthy habit. I gave you a 5/5 because I can't take a half point off for the tobacco.