It's The Way You Look At Me Ch. 02

"So you aren't at all scared about what happened tonight?"

"No," she giggled a little. "Are you?"

"Not at all," I sighed. "I just don't know where we go from here."

"You have to go home. If your dad figures out you aren't home......look out," she said, avoiding the obvious meaning of my last statement.

"Yeah," I sighed. "Don't remind me."

"How about we just see where it goes ok? I don't want to be in a hurry to take things to far if you get what I'm saying. You're my best friend so I'm not in a rush because I know it won't hurt us to take things slow."

"I can live with that," I said.

"Walk me in," she said holding her hand out for me.

I took it and walked her to the back door that was next to her room. I faced her and expected to give her a good night kiss.

"Do you know why I slept with Frank?" she asked suddenly.

"No," I said confused.

"I was mad at you because you slept with Heather."

"Ok," I said more confused now than before. "How did you come up with that idea?"

"I don't know," she said. "I was pissed off at you. That's all I could come up with at the time."

"Were you jealous of Heather?"

"In a way," she sighed.

"I wouldn't be jealous of her," I said quickly. "Heather was willing to put out and I wanted some so I went for it."

"Am I in the same boat as Heather?" Jamie asked.

"Far from it. Heather and I had sex and that was it. You know you mean more to me than anything in the world Jamie."

"I know," she smiled now. "I just wanted to hear you say it."

"Ok," I said still confused.

"In a way I kind of wanted my first time to be with you," she said softly.

"You did?" I asked stunned.

"Yeah," she replied softly. "I'm weird, I know."

"I guess I went and screwed that up didn't I?"

"It's not your fault Owen," she sighed. "It wasn't like I told you or anything. It's just a messed up thought I've had in my head since that night when we were like fourteen or something."

I gave a questioning look now as I tried to think about some significant event that had happened when we were that old. "Fourteen?"

"Yeah," she smiled shyly now. "Don't you remember the dance?"

I had to think for a moment before I gave my answer. "In junior high?"

"Yeah," she smiled shyly still. "That one."

How could I have forgotten that I asked myself? We were in eighth grade back then. It was the winter formal dance that the school put on just before we went for Christmas break. My date canceled on me at the last minute. She was sick, I mean really sick. She caught the flu and was at home in bed sick. I had bought the tickets so I decided to go anyway. Jordan, Bobby and Shane would be there so I would just hang out with them and see what it was all about. Back then Jordan and Shane were between girlfriends and Bobby hadn't started dating yet. It wasn't from the lack of trying, girls were just superficial back then and they didn't want to date a bigger guy.

Jamie had gone with this guy she liked named Victor. They had been dating for a couple of weeks or so before the dance. And when I say dating, it was more like they just hung out and held hands and that sort of stuff. We were only fourteen back then so it wasn't like we were going out every Friday night or anything. You couldn't go far without getting a ride from your parents.

I remembered seeing her there though. She was all dressed up and looked good for the dance. Back then Jamie was in that awkward stage, the period in which she was going from being a cute kid to a hot teenager. That happened almost overnight but that's a different story.

Jordan, Shane, Bobby, and I were hanging out in the hallway that led into the gym doing whatever it was that kids did back then. Hell I don't even remember what we were doing. Mack found me and told me Jamie was sitting behind the bleachers crying. He didn't know the reason he just knew she looked very upset about something.

I left the group and went to find her. She was sitting right where Mack said she was. She had stopped crying by now but she was still very upset. I sat with her for a long time trying to calm her down. She told me Victor had dumped her because she wouldn't kiss him. He told her she wasn't pretty enough for him anyway and he didn't want to see her anymore. I told her Victor was crazy and that she was beautiful. I told her she deserved better and she would find better. Victor was an idiot if he thought she wasn't pretty enough.

It took a while but I finally got her to smile. We spent a few more minutes sitting there laughing before I got her to come out and rejoin the dance. We left the bleachers and headed back out to the gym floor. The DJ had just put on a slow song to try and get some of the kids to go out there and dance. There were about ten kids brave enough to actually go out there and dance to one. I pulled Jamie out there and danced with her. It wasn't really dancing now that I think about it. We just leaned against each other and turned in a circle. But it brought a smile to her face that I was willing to dance with her.

Another slow song came on so I stayed right where I was and danced another one with her. When it ended she looked at me with those perfect blue eyes and that million dollar smile of hers she had. It was a look of happiness and satisfaction as she thanked me. I gave her a soft kiss on the cheek and told her she was perfect and she didn't need Victor or anyone else to tell her that.

We left the floor and went to the group of guys before I excused myself to go take a leak. I walked by Victor and his group of friends on my way to the bathroom. I could hear him talking about Jamie and making fun of her still. It aggravated me but I let it go.

I did my business then returned from the bathroom. Victor was still carrying on about Jamie as I headed back to my group. He was dragging her name and my name through the mud now. Laughing and teasing Jamie about how she had to dance with her cousin. It was loud enough that we could hear it where all of us were standing.

Jamie looked uncomfortable again as she stood there with us. I knew it was making her feel like a piece of trash. He was calling her ugly and a prude and things like that. She wanted to leave now. Her evening was ruined and it only fueled Victor to carry on more about it.

It pissed me off to the point I broke my normal, calm manner and left the group. I knew I was going to be in trouble as soon as I started across the floor but I didn't care. It was one thing to poke a little fun at her, it was another to be so vulgar about it and keep carrying on. He had already hurt her, now it was becoming cruel.

I walked across the floor until I was behind Victor. He was still going on and on about Jamie as I tapped his shoulder. He turned to see who it was. Wham! I cold cocked him right there and watched him flop to the floor in pain and surprise as I punched him.

"Shut the fuck up," I barked. "You've done enough to ruin her evening already."

Yup, I got in trouble all right. I got tossed out of the dance and suspended from school for three days. My dad was home for the holidays that year and I was punished pretty badly for my actions. My mom lectured me for an hour about how fighting wasn't the answer. Grandpa laughed about it and said sometimes people need to be put in their place. He was proud that I stood up for Jamie. The only thing that made it worth it was seeing Jamie smile about it afterwards. Victor wore his black eye for about a week but he didn't talk shit about Jamie again after that.

"That was the first time I felt something for you," she said softly. "You took the time to calm me down and make me feel better. You told me I was beautiful and perfect, that Victor was a jerk and I deserved better than him."

"Because you are beautiful and you did deserve better than him," I offered. "I'd punch him all over again if I had to."

"I know you would," she smiled softly. "But you didn't just say those things to make me feel better. It was the way you said them, you meant what you said. You made that night perfect even if I did get dumped."

I smiled at her standing there. She had a soft smile on her face but still looked a little unsure about the secret that she had just confessed to me.

"You think I'm crazy don't you?" she questioned.

"No," I said firmly. "Not at all. I just didn't realize that event was so special to you. I didn't know it would lead to all of this."

"I've thought about all this before," she confessed now. "But I didn't know how you felt. I couldn't just tell you."

"How far have you thought?" I asked. "How far do you want this to go?"

She thought now, took a moment to really think about what she wanted to say before she spoke.

"I don't know what I want," she finally said. "We might not have had sex tonight but it felt better than sex to me. The way you touched me, looked at me, felt my body, touched my skin, the way you kissed me. There was such passion in your touch, hunger in your kiss, you had me on fire tonight. Then you were so patient with me, you didn't push me. It's the first time I've done something like that and felt so desired and wanted during then not cheap after."

"I'm not going to lie to you Jamie. I really wanted you tonight. But I don't want to do something that you don't want. We are changing the boundaries of our relationship. We can't take it back if we do something together and it's not something we both want. I don't want to ruin what we have together. You are my best friend and I don't want to change that."

"And you didn't," she said softly but with that perfect smile. "You were perfect tonight Owen, absolutely perfect. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

She looked up at me and smiled again. "Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight," she sang so sweetly.

I smiled now. I had heard that song over a hundred times on the radio but I never really listened to it until she started singing it.

"No, I don't want to mess this thing up, I don't want to push too far. Just a shot in the dark that you might be the one I've been waiting for my whole life, so I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight."

"Perfect," I smiled.

I leaned down and found her mouth. Placed this long and tender kiss on her lips that let our tongues touch before we both pulled away. Our eyes met as my hands held hers. She smiled that perfect smile up at me before I let her hands go and fall to her side.

"You better go Owen. Before your dad finds out that you aren't home."

"Yeah," I sighed. "That's a mood killer."

She smiled again. "Good night Owen."

"Good night Jamie."

I killed the engine and rolled silently into the driveway before I parked in the grass next to my dad's truck. I hoped like hell he wasn't up waiting for me or sleeping on the couch. The house was pitch black as I carefully opened the front door and slipped inside. I navigated carefully through the house until I reached my room. I shut the door and slipped into bed hoping I didn't get a wakeup call at the butt crack of dawn.

It came as a surprise when I woke up about nine thirty. Dad hadn't gotten me out of bed so I figured I had gotten away with it. I rolled out of bed, put on my shorts and a shirt and headed outside to get in a quick workout before having breakfast. Dad wasn't home so I relaxed until noon. Then he came home and got me so we could go to grandpas to do some work around his house.

I checked my phone after we got done and were heading back to the house. There were about ten messages on it. Jordan wanted to hang out at old man Williams' house again. Bobby said he went back to the condo and got the rest of our clothes from behind the hedgerow. Shane couldn't believe that we had run down the road naked. Courtney wanted to do something tonight since she had gotten off being grounded.

Holy shit. I had forgotten all about Courtney until now. The only thing I could think about was Jamie. I called Courtney to see what she wanted to do. She wanted to hang out with me, just me and her. No going out with Jordan or Jamie. I agreed and met her at the mall at six so we could get dinner then go see a movie after.

We met, went inside and ordered before we sat at a table and started eating. She was moody about something but hadn't said anything to me about it yet. I knew exactly what it was about. Last night and the pool. If Shane knew about it then everyone in our circle knew about it.

She picked up her burger and took a small bite. I glanced at her and picked mine up to take another bite. She chewed then looked at me.

"I heard you guys had a pretty wild night last night."

"Ah, not really," I sighed. "We hung out at old man Williams' house and had a few drinks."

"How did you guys end up at the pool then?" she asked annoyed.

"We walked," I said sarcastically.

"Well duh," she hissed.

"Why did you ask then?" I half smiled.

"Don't play stupid with me Owen," she snapped. "I know what else happened. I heard you guys ended up skinny dipping then running down the road naked."

"Yeah," I said nonchalantly. "No big deal. It was better than getting busted."

"You don't see swimming naked in a pool with Jamie as a problem?"

"We were in a pool. You couldn't see anything anyway."

"But running down the street you could," she hissed.

"I wasn't looking," I said, stealing Jamie's line. "We did what we had to do to get away."

She sighed her annoyed sigh.

"Everyone was naked," I said factually. "Kelly, Jordan, Shane, Mia, Trish, and Bobby. It wasn't just me and Jamie in the pool. Everyone was cool about it."

"I'm not," she quipped.

"You weren't there," I offered. "You didn't have to worry about it."

"It's weird," she snarled.

"Come on," I quipped. "You're making it into a big deal and it's not. Get over yourself will you."

"I don't like it," she snapped. "I don't like you being so comfortable with Jamie that you guys can get naked around each other."

"It was Jordan's idea," I said.

"So it's ok when he says it's ok?"

"Why not?" I asked. "It seemed like a good idea at the time."

"I don't like Jordan. I don't like Jamie either."

"I'm sorry you feel that way," I sighed. "I'm not going to stop hanging out with either of them if that's what you are hoping. Jordan is my best friend and Jamie is my cousin."

"I think Jordan is a bad influence on you."

"You're being ridiculous," I groaned. "We both get into mischief, it's not one sided."

"He's the one who got me drunk last weekend," she snarled.

"Oh he did?" I asked. "He held you down and poured the booze down your throat."

"Pretty much," she said, sticking to her story.

"Right," I quipped. "Keep telling yourself that. You were shitfaced before I even left. I'm sure Jordan did that to you too."

"You can be a jerk sometimes Owen," she huffed.

"Truth hurts sometimes doesn't it?"

"Why are you such an asshole?"

"Asshole? Me? And what are you then? A bitch maybe?"

"Fuck you," she snapped.

"I'm done with this shit Courtney. Jordan is my boy and Jamie is my girl. If you don't like that then you can enjoy the evening alone. Girlfriends come and go, great friends don't. I'm not picking you over them."

"It figures you would pick them," she hissed.

"Have a nice evening Courtney. I'm outa here."

I pushed myself away from the table and left her sitting there stunned that I was leaving. She didn't even bother to argue now. I made my way towards the door as my phone started ringing. I almost didn't pick it up since I thought it was her calling me.

"Hey Jamie," I answered. "What are you doing? I thought you had dance tonight?"

"I do," she said quickly. "I'm sorry to bother you but I need you again."

"Ok? What's wrong?"

"Can you get away from Courtney for a few minutes and help me?"

"Yeah, I'm free. What do you need?"

"I thought you were with Courtney?"

"Not at the moment."

"I can't get my car started."

"I'll be there in a minute. Where are you?"

"Near Penny's in the parking lot."

"I'm heading that way. Be there in a few."

"Ok. Thanks Owen."

I cut across the parking lot to get to my truck. The first cold front of the season was blowing into the state. The wind was blowing the trees around as a light but steady drizzle was falling. I started my truck and cleared the window before driving around until I found Jamie sitting in her car to keep dry for the time being.

"Hey Jamie," I smiled as I got out. "What's up with the car?"

"I don't know," she said. "It won't start."

"Did you leave anything on inside of it?"

"No. It started hard when I drove here but I didn't think anything of it. Now it doesn't do anything."

"Alright," I sighed. "Pop the hood and let me try jumping it first. If that don't work then we can go from there."

She worked to get the hood open as I went to the box and pulled the jumper cables out. I circled the truck and opened her hood. I hooked it up as she waited for me. The dome light started to glow as my truck powered her car.

"Give it a try and see what it does," I ordered.

She turned the key and the engine turned over but didn't start.

"Stop for a second and give it a minute," I called.

"It's doing more than it did before now," she offered.

"Your battery must be bad. Maybe the alternator is too. Give it a minute and then try it again. My truck will charge it for now."

"I don't want to keep you waiting," she said.

"You're not," I sighed. "We just got into a fight and I was heading home anyway."

"Why? What happened?"

"She was pissed off about last night," I said. "I told you she was going to get mad. We argued about it and I left before I got really pissed off."

"I'm sorry Owen."

"I'm done with it really. She told me she can't stand you or Jordan. I'm not giving you two up so fuck her."

"I'm sorry Owen," she said again. "I know you liked her."

"It's been going downhill for a month now. This is the breaking point."

She shrugged. "I don't know what to say."

"What is there to say really? I don't want to do this anymore anyway. I mean, how does this make you feel? We've been doing stuff behind her back. I don't like doing that."

"Maybe we shouldn't do anything anymore then," she said with an uncertainness in her voice.

"I don't want to stop though," I said quickly. "I've never felt these feelings for anyone before."

"I don't want to say you should break up with her," Jamie sighed. "But I do feel bad for doing this to her behind her back. But then again, it's not like we can say we are doing anything to anyone anyway."

"Gosh damn, this is confusing," I sighed.

"Do what you feel is right Owen," she offered. "I can't make the choice for you."

"I know," I sighed. "It's going to be a hard battle if we continue the way we are going. Is that something that you are willing to do?"

"I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't want to take the risk," she smiled in her playful way.

"Didn't I kiss you?" I asked.

"I willed you to do it," she smiled again.

"Let me figure it out."

"No rush. I'm not going anywhere."

"It's not fair to you though."

"I've been waiting for a long time Owen. It won't kill me to wait a little longer."

I shook my head again. I decided to give it a rest for the time being and figure it out after I got home and had some time to cool off.

"Try the car again," I sighed.

She turned the key and listened as the car groaned to life then finally turned over.

"Yay," she cheered. "How far will it get me?"

"It's going to die as soon as you turn it off again if your alternator is going bad."

"Shit," she hissed. "How am I going to get home from dance?"

"Just ah..... just take my truck and I will take your car home. I'm not going anywhere anymore tonight anyway. I'll look it over tomorrow again and fix it for you in the morning."