All Comments on 'Ivy'

Our town has one but I guess I have been lucky....not to have known her too well....or maybe not. Great story, just how the hell can you keep pumping out winners week after week? Thanks.

FOR SS06, YOUR SKILLS DO NOT NEED A COMPARISION WITH JPB, DSQ OR ANY WRITERS, THIS STORY STANDS TALL AND FITS IN SEVERAL CATEGORIES. THE INSIGHT OF NOT BEING ADVERSE TO SOCIAL COMMENTS AND MORES LETS VARIED READERS ENJOY YOUR ADAPTATION. TK YOU MLJ LV NV

Please continue

Very different for SS06. Very well written. And very good.

I do not know how SS06 writes so often. But, I look forward to Thursdays!

Great comment and a great story too. I for one like your stories and too, look forward to late Wednesday nights. Like you and a couple other authors have repeated, life goes on. That said I think shit happens too and you have to deal with it as 'life goes on'. You don't have to be nasty to people like this but you shouldn't put up with it either. I like the ending, seems more real considering all his conflicting emotions. You don't have to torch the bitch, subtleties will go a lot further.

Rob

The fabulous stangstar06 has done it again, what an author. Love this story, man you just keep getting better.

It was another good read even if quite sad for everyone. Ivy's behaviour and his acceptance of it was a bit over the top though. I prefer happy endings but I still gave it a 5. Thank you. Jim

I think that this was a very good story. It ended up sad, but I think that the professor should have given Ivy another chance, because she was a slut up through the second time that she gave in to the men who were blackmailing her. After that I think that Ivy had finally matured enough to finally understand why her behavior had too hard on him and her children. Everyone told him that she had just withdrawn into a shell; especially when he married Jazz and then lost her in the accident. She needs him more than he needs here. I am not a wimp or a cuckold, but sometimes you have to realize people can change for the better.

...and your use of language has improved exponentially. You can even use humor appropriately in a sad situation.

Yep - you're the man.

Another top notch read SS06. I don't care about the plot really, just that it's penned in an entertaining way, and this is.

Thanks for another 5.

To trust, or not to trust?

If it were me, I'd probably go as far as being friends and no further, ever.

Not sure I could take the pain of yet another betrayal.

I'm just thankful I'm not the poor bastard in the story.

I had a "Ivy" after a fashion, and a "Colleen".

Fortunately my Colleen is still alive, and with me, and my fantasy girl is no longer first in my affections.

And for that, I am extremely thankful.

Thanks for the food for thought Stang

later dude :)

Another fine effort, in fact, maybe your best. Thanks for your stories -- I, like many others, look forward to Thursdays.

You are a good teller of tales..however, in my humble opinion you "blew" it here by throwing in at the end the tragic loss of Jasmine. Thankfully, Ivy was not accepted back by him..but by living with him it sorta ruined the whole thing.

Still, you ARE a very good author and I thank you.

And for the record , there has never been any assembly or fab work performed by Ford Motor Company in Flint. Flint has always been a General Motors town . It was at one time the location of the home plant of Buick and has Flint Truck Assembly which builds the Chevy and GMC crew cabs .

There is no way one can escape comparisons with JPB's plots because he has written a story to most of the possible twists! Other than that, this was not quite the usual SS06,

for a while there, it read like a DGHear script!

I am sure that people change, but that is not a good reason to take her back..

Wow, that was...I don't know. Almost novella quality tale. If I have any gripes and complaints, I can't think of any right now.

I think I can actually say that I am not disappointed by the ending. Although I really hate it that Jasmine died, the fact that Tim did NOT get back together with Ivy kinda made up for it (OK, not really, but if he had, it would've made the ending infinitely worse).

Personally, I don't think Ivy could EVER change. The only reason she would not fuck every guy in sight would be either because she got too old and they don't want her anymore, or they stay away because they think she's got a ton of STD's.

Ivy is just far too screwed up a person to be with. She's simply not marriage material.

Stang seems to be in an experimental phase in his writing. Lots of different themes and ideas. I like it. Keep up the good work!

wow this story sucked moose cock .

First, the cutsie Mustang reference in every story makes me wanna blow chunks.

Second, why this moron kept hanging out with a woman so obviously a walking STD farm is simply beyond me.

I gave up about halfway through. Based on the comments, there was nothing to redeem the story from its horrible beginning.

This Thursday-or-death thing, man, you need to rethink it big time. If rushing to meet a deadline causes you to produce this shit, I'd say stick to flash stories. This was bad.

I am sure I am going to get into a lot of trouble for saying this but I don't care. This is a bad story with a lot of clichéd driven crap that is substituting for a plot.

Throughout the story cliche after cliche is sued. Collen dies then Jazz dies ... so of course he has to end up with Ivy. Of course.

To begin eith... when we meet Ivy there is nothing about her as a character which is in the least bit appealing. Going on and on about some sort of mindless idiotic crap about how that Gods made a perfect woman doesn't explain what her appeal is. So she has a FAT ass and a lot of hair. Big fucking deal....

The whole premise about how IVY is so hot and so sexy ... as a literary device is a catastrophic failure.

Tim it turns out it is a moron. Not just any sort a moron but an exceptional moron. Nothing that IVY did was in secret. He had complete and full knowledge of who she was and what she was doing and her serious character flaws and mental instability.

Yet it made no difference to Tim and he was convinced that somehow or another she was going to stay faithful. *** This is a classic story device that JPB uses ALL the time is his cuckold cream pie stories. ***

All this does is ruin the story because the author does a great job of showing how bad of a person she is so this connection Tim has to her makes NO sense. Tim comes across as an asshole.

Tim finds out that she is fucking LOTS of guys at work while He and IVY are dating... while she is telling him how wonderful and how much she is in love with him. Whats does time do? Nothing. Only when he sees the actual sheating by IVY does he do anything.

Then after Colleen dies and Tim returns the conversation between him and Ivy on the porch swing is very revealing and should be an eye opener that the woman is 100% certifable bat shit crazy. If you read that entire section of the story it is clear that Ivy actually cannot figure out WHY Tim left and why Tim reacted that way.

Even worse..... Tim learns that this cunt whore now has 5 kids ALL from DIFFERENT fathers but he really thinks that she's going to stay faithful?

This is a joke right ?

And what makes matters even worse is that Tim upon learning about all this... upon seeing and hearing Ivy NOT understanding what she did wrong and why he left... Tim and decides to renew of the relationship.

????????

If anything Tim's exceptional stupidity gets worse as the story goes on. He doesn't understand until he is hit in the proverbial head how Jazz feels about him what anybody else can see it.

This is a truly bad story.

Sorry but there was no added benefit to the story by killing off JAsmine. Personally it ruined the story for me (plot wise). But still one of your most appreciative fans. Great writing and rather a long one for you. Very nice. And for the record no one would ever accuse you of being like JPB (Just Pass my Balls)

Killing off Jazz ruined this story for me! Now, I'm depressed... I loved her too. I can't give this story my usual 5 stars.

Can't really see the need to kill of Jazz the story should have ended with the birth of the twins

In this story you destroyed the lives of the only two main characters that were really worth anything. I mean, how much pain can any guy like Tim (an average guy so to speak) take without ending up eating a bullet or some other form of suicide. What makes it worse is, you killed of the only character that really didn't have a serious flaw in them. Like Ivys mother said, 'she just couldn't say no'. But Tim had a big flaw also. Even though he knew what type of person Ivy was (a very weak and foolish woman), he actually believed that Ivy would change here life style. It is one thing, to forgive someone, but Ivy's problem was much worse. Even though her whole family was screwed up from the beginning, Jasmine came out nearly perfect...at least in my opinion.

She's gone. Rose is next. you added those last two paragraphs here but on the other site. Anyway, that's my take. Ivy is trash, Jazz is gone, so Rose is next. She is available and legal. so why not? from slut to virgins. he he

A good story, but the killing of Jasmine was unnecessary and the epilog was just plain bad.

Your stories are some of the best on this site and this one was just exceptional! You have a real talent, not unlike DG Hear, Jake Rivers, and Dave Charles, to name three of the best. I find myself eagerly awaiting your Thursday postings. Thank you for what you do for this site.

Loved the strong focus on characterization. Jasmine was a wonderful one to read about. Was not finished with getting to know her. As with the others I wonder if Rose could have some of the same traits. I do not have a prob with the epilogue. It is your damn story and you can end like that if you like. In fact I am glad that he has learned enough to make distance between him and Ivy. Thanks for the 5 star read. Higher if the rating system was higher.

JPB is a terrific writer. So are you, though you tend at times to veer off into 'torch the bitch' craziness. Not this time, however. Very good story. Well done.

. . . goes on, with a well done story. There are some shallow grave details concerning the professor's employment background; college professors with TAs already have their PHD, but let's let that part slide as just a side show to the story. I think the family details don't work well at all if you try to focus too hard one them, but if you go with the flow as a good love story this one really works well. Should be in romance rather than LW, but since you always post in LW it's okay here too. Good damned story.

Stang, whatever you write, it is good, meaty, mind absorbing and pretty well always - a cliff hanger.

I didn't read 8 pages to have Jazz killed, that hurt Stang, too emotional.

The epilogue - made sense.

I gave you a five because the story is a five but like everyone else, each time I remember it I will subconsciously want the ending to change...Jazz was young but everything.

Thanks again.

This was a good story as always..but why do you keep killing off the leading ladies... I would like to see a story with a real happy ending instead of a so so one.

i just love how you slag authors down, and yet have not made a single story submission.

When you submit one story thats as good as stangs worst, then please feel free to subject us to your self opinionated crap, unitl then stfu.

@ stang you shuld of ended it with the twins birth, or ended it with ivy being hit by the semi from carefree highyway......

A well written story about a stupid nerd. He deserved everything that happened to him. With all of his nerd brainpower, he still chased the town whore, knowing she was the town whore. He deserved it. Was he a saint nerd also? Single men run away from women with children. If the children have different fathers, they drive away at high speed. For all his insight, he is still a dumb nerd. This is like JPB.

I did enjoy this story. However, it wasn't much more than a daytime soap opera. Nothing more.

very , very nice story. I enjoyed reading it. You did something no one else on this site has pulled off: you made a somewhat weak, wimpy male character believable, consistent and like-able! I guess I did not find Ivy as believable. I had a lot of sympathy for her and did not find her second screw up very believable. I think you need to explain a little more why she took on the trucker.

jeez, dude.... ur stories are always the same.... megaslut, dumb leading man, mustang, creampies.... good grief, you haven't written anything of worth after chrissie and the art of divorce.... you are turning into jpb.... i seriously wonder what kind of women exist in your life.... i'm done with you....

it was detailed and interesting. Unlike Harry, I found Ivy to be an attractive character (in the early pages)--lively and unique and full of fun, attractive both physically and in her personality. (Admittedly, she later becomes rather unstable and out of control--too scary to be involved with.)

Where the story is less successful for me is in some of its inconsistencies. For instance, in the first part of the story where Tim and Ivy are just "friends," what right does he have to go apeshit when she is blowing another guy? He kept talking about how they weren't exclusive, he knew she was fucking around, etc. Why does she need to apologize for that? They had never discussed it and agreed that she wouldn't do it.

Then if you read the passages where Tim talks about his relationship with Colleen, it sometimes sounds happy and loving, and at other times empty, sad and lonely. It can't really be both!

Another problem is the level of moronic cluelessness that we are required to believe of Tim. Not to notice that Jasmine is going after him as a lover or husband is really hard to believe. And, having thought of her as a daughter for years, his switch to accepting her as a lover/wife was pretty creepy. (Made me think of Woody Allen and his wife, who used to be virtually his step-daughter when he was involved with her adoptive mother Mia Farrow.)

But despite these issues I liked the story a lot, and I'm grateful to SS for continuing to entertain us so regularly and so well.

Thanks, ohio

You are one of my favorite authors and I enjoyed this story. You have written several that I didn't like, but I have found most of them to be good reads. I check your bio everytime I come to the site, simply to see if you have written anything new. Don't listen to the idiots who criticize your work. Your stories have heart and compassion, and also a strong willed male character; one who displays a strong morale fiber. Keep writing and I'll keep reading. Thank you.

I didn't hate it as much as Harry in VA, but I agree with most of his points.

By the way, Harry has some of the BEST commentary around. The Anonymous commenter who complained that he shouldn't criticize until he wrote a story "as good" as Stangs worst story is out of line. At least Harry in VA has the guts to log in and criticize with the possibility of receiving feedback and not as "Anonymous". Anonymous commentators who give scathing comments are worthless.

I also observed as did another reviewer that Tim's positions at the Community College and the University were too Junior to have a TA. As far as I could tell from reading, he had no more than a Bachelors degree at the beginning of the story and could not have been much more than a TA himself. In the "real" world it is extremely unusual for a "professor" to have less than a PhD. An "instructor" might have or be working on his Masters. The PhD is is virtually required at the University level for a permanent faculty slot.

The fact is that Stang wrote Ivy as a world class slut and Tim was extremely gullible and frankly, STUPID to believe she would be anything else. I mean, really, she had three kids by three men and showed NO sign of slowing down.

She was obviously pain with a cunt.

I think that Stang avoided a full reconciliation and I'm glad he did, but she was till living with Tim at the end and he was "doing without". Hell, if you're gonna live with her at least fuck her. IN the END pussy is pussy and a day without is a day you'll never get back.

Her name isnt Ivy... Shes my moms cousins daughter, lives in Winnipeg Manitoba, has 4 kids by 4 dads last i bothered to check, and just for the big cliche moment... Yes you guessed it, shes a stripper.

Stangstar did a great job attempting to write full characters rather than the cardboard cutout cliches from some of his other stories, and he clearly tried to make it different despite just how cluttered the genre has become.

That's the good.

Sadly, while there was a clear attempt to write full characters as others have pointed out, many of the characterizations were weak and inconsistent. Tim's not standing up to Ivy early on about her being the town bicycle. Tim learning about Ivy quickly, but taking years to realize that Jasmine wants him as a husband. Ivy's seeming cluelessness about why Tim left and her failure to stand up against the blackmail.

Its just too sloppy for me to love this story. I don't ask for the skill of a Hemingway, but the characters can't be college professors on page one and turn into blithering idiots who can't see what the reader clearly can four pages later.

Stang I think the biggest flaw in your writing has been your speed. You need to slow down and examine the plot and characers a bit deeper than you do. This is not the only recent story you've written that felt rushed in so many ways and which relied far too much on cliche than good writing and character growth.

And the killing of Jasmine at the end was not a well thought out plot twist. Yes, it gave you the ability to have Tim turn away from Ivy and not give her a third chance to destroy his happiness, but that moment of turning down the third chance added nothing to the story. You could have done a lot more building on the Tim/Jasmine marriage than with the "kill Jasmine and end the story with Tim dumping Ivy again." trick you used.

that ended in the pits. you need to edit your stories down a bit. This one got to wordy at times and had a lot of unneed discription. It could have been cut down about 20%. An editor would also help find you mistakes of words left out or using the wrong word(too instead of to). You could be a good writer with a little more effert and a some editing.

muddled by too much cheating. You can and do write better stories than this. Please no more cheating

"I'd rather have a woman I can put on a pedestal, than one I have to keep on a leash"

Stang that is a GREAT line-and this was one of your best stories. Nicely filled out with a larger cast of characters then you normally have in your tales . You were able to keep all the characters in the story, without losing anyone.

I was most upset you wrote in the accident with Jazz. T-boning of the mustang was so completely not needed. Why destroy such a fine car? It really brought down the story! (LOL!)

Fine job thanks !

The death of Jazz was the death of this story. Good story but it was lost with the death of the only character with any redeeming social value.

Please continue to write as I enjoy your stories very much and look forward to every Thursday, plus my '71 Chevelle SS 454 LS5 enjoys the wash and wax each Wednesday evening in anticipation.

I liked the story. But felt bad for the Central Character.

Every time he found someone to Love they were taken from him.

But at least he had Children his Own and Ivy's to fill his Life.

and I liked the way he shipped her home and took care of his and Jasmine's kids by Himself.

I have long believed that for a story to be compelling, the main characters have to continuously do their best to strive for what's best for them. Here, Tim never really did that. Instead, he carried his torch for Ivy without ever opening his eyes to what she was. By doing so, he continuously made the same mistakes, which means he wasn't continuously striving to do what was best for him. Instead, he was continuously making the same damned mistakes over and over again.

As such, Tim's character was like watching Groundhog Day, except he didn't use his revolving opportunities to improve himself. Instead, he chose them to keep going back to her. As such, it was more maddening than compelling.

I literally wanted to reach into my screen and slap the living shit right out of him!

Reminds me of that Chronic Disease Management Survey the Doc sends for your Heart or Blood pressure.... question #6 Given a copy of my treatment plan. There is no treatment plan for people.... you just Love'em.

Great Thursday Stang, great Thursday. Thanks for sharing it on Lit. with me/us.

x

It was Thursday.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

(you are a writer, now)

x

Maybe Tim's a masochist? It's like reading how he slams his head against a rock, says that that hurts, then does it again. And again. And again. All the while saying that he'll never do it again. He's like a lemming, mindlessly going to his doom.

No doubt about it, SS06 has a great talent for making characters come alive. When you read about them it is almost as if they come alive from the printed page. But, this talent can also be a curse. Look at this latest submission as example.

All the character were pretty good. I could almost visualize a guy like Tim. And who wouldn't want to be his friend? And he has none? A true passive-aggressive personality.

Ivy. I have met women like her. Not bad, necessarily, just without any control over her appetites. Their fate, as in this story is that they constantly shoot themselves in the foot. The definition on addiction is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Well, she is addicted.

Jasmine. Just as believable as the others.

Where SS06 went wrong here is in being a little too sadistic to his main character. He got too realistic. I can see how an event just like like what happens to Tim happen in life. We all know people whose whole life is one tragedy after an other.

From a writers standpoint, you invested a lot into the whole Jasmine, Ivy, Tim triangle just to have it die out. Time winds up with neither Jasmine nor Ivy. He is also probably in need of some serious therapy after losing 2 wives!

This didn't leave me feeling uplifted or angry. I have kind of a "Life sucks! Why get up in the morning?" kind of feeling.

But I do like your stories. I do have one question to ask SS06, however if he ever reads this: How much do your characters pay in gas per story?! You know that even with more fuel efficient engines and driving a manual as opposed to an auto trans, they gotta go through some heavy fuel bills! And what is wring with the new V6's??!! 305 hp and a 3.31 tranny with the performance pack is noting to sneeze at! Makes some of these Chargers and Challengers and most V6's in fact, cry back on the line! :)

Yours

Chagrined. :))

Jesus H Christ...that was a great story from Stang!

Love your work!

Can't wait for next week.

C

Screw all the morons who didn't like the story and yell and whine. While I did not like Tim being a wimp with Ivy, he was a stand up guy. Not many who sacrifice for others out there.

The think I liked, it was another different type of story. I have no worries that your stories will all start being the same like JPB's.

You have given us so many different types of stories and continue to grow. Not every story is going to be like.

Thanks for sharing your talent.

and he's just about as dense as the one in this story. I had to drink a couple diet Cokes to help me suspend disbelief while I read the story, but I read it all and enjoyed it.

This was entertaining and certainly contained some original ideas. Even though the characters behaved stupidly and their credibility was marginal, the read was fun. But I have to agree with Lazyloner and other readers' comments about Tim, Ivy, Jazz, and others in the story. No need to repeat what they said. My suggestions for improving the story (and improving as a writer) include: 1) The editor thing that others keep mentioning -- that would help with the technical stuff, although I must say, there are fewer such errors than in earlier stories, and 2) Developing personae who act in ways that are believable given their education and other background info as portrayed (e.g., a math "professor" who later gets a higher degree than a B.S., pun intended, but who punches out a guy bigger than himself yet knows no martial arts, and who essentially adopts the kids of a woman to whom he's not married, but he "loves" her even though she's the town cum dump, but he remains platonic with her . . . ). Enjoyable nonetheless. Thanks for writing.

You have to agree that Tim had too much of Ivy's shit too ever agree to get back with her.

Ivy knew the jig was up before she went to the gang bag.

She went anyway and paid the price.

Tim is too dense to be believed.

All of that said, I still look forward to Thursdays and the comments my favorite authors have to say about SS06's efforts.

I check in once per week and always find an entertaining read - sad to see Jazz die in the prime of life tho :(

Great simple song by the Coasters. poison ivy. Song and story so simpatico.

"She comes on like a rose

But everyone knows

She'll get you in Dutch

Now you can look but you better not touch

POISON IVY...poison Ivyyyyyyyyyyyy

Late at night while you're a sleepin

Poison ivy comes a creepin

You'll be scratchin like a hound

The minute you start messin around

Poison ivy.

Great title...great cast... Just brilliant. Thank you

Good Job on the story!

This reads like a first draft - a great first draft, but a first draft nevertheless. Given how prolific a writer you are, maybe it is.

Why would anyone subject their readers to a first draft? Everybody knows that a first draft pretty much sucks no matter who you are. If you left this in your (virtual) drawer for a few weeks and then came back to it, I'm sure you could do a lot better.

I can see these major issues that you might want to deal with:

1. Are you sure you want this to be in first person? I realize this is the fashionable approach in these parts, but it don't really get a strong voice from the protagonist, and I think the story suffers from it. It seems that he becomes a bit of a non-entity by speaking in such a bland voice.

2. Way too much introspection - the pitfall of so many first person stories. It's fine for a first draft, but in a finished story it becomes unreadable. I've heard the rule of thumb that you should cut at least half the introspection between 1. and 2. draft.

Just look at all the introspection during the first couple of pages: I love her, I really love her, I can't ask her to be exclusive, but I really love her. Maybe you're trying to convey character this way, but it's way overdone. A bit of dialog could have set up the conflict in a much more interesting way.

3. Tim's persistence in failing to read Jazz's signal's. Is it supposed to be suspenseful? In that case it doesn't work; the foreshadowing is way too heavy for that. And the way it is revealed is kind of painful. Just an info-dump from the grandmother? Think about how much plot and character you could get out of having Tim slowly realizing for himself and having to figure out how to deal with it?

4. Jazz's death. Dude, WTF? Tim has finally moved past Ivy and realized that his future is with Jazz. That sounds like conflict resolution to me; the story is over. What on Earth do you gain by killing of the heroine in the epilogue? Just irate readers and even more introspection.

This may seem harsh, but it's really par for the course for first drafts. I think this story is almost 30000 words. Who puts out 30000 words a week including redrafting and editing? Why not take a breather and go for quality over quantity?

I don't disagree with the other commenters, it's just that I am confused. I mean, after Jasmine got Tim away from Ivy she went back and told Ivy that if something happened to her, she wanted Ivy to take care of Tim.

Well...something happened that the readers did not want to happen. Jazz didn't bounce back after the twins birth and she could not have any more babies. Then she was killed in a car crash, destroying her Mustang!

It sounded to me that you were scripting Ivy and Tim to finally get back together. You wrote that Ivy had changed and quit going out with other men. Ivy kept her promise and brought Tim back out of his grief stage. You said that it was like Jasmine was directing him to take care of their children from heaven.

Tim has always been willing to take care of Ivy's bastard children, even acting like their Father. Ivy kept her promise to Jazz. Quitting her job because of the time spent doing so.

Everything you wrote led me to believe that you and Ivy will now get back together and raise the children. Then you switch his character from the loving Nerd that is willing to do what most men would never have done in accepting Ivy and all those children throughout the story.

He becomes the normal "Kick Em To the Kurb" protaganist in cheating wive's stories. He sends her home and both abandons her and her children. Sending her home without the job she lost. He doesn't want her taking care of him and her daughter's babies. He hires caretakers and nannies.

I don't see these actions from this character as believable because it does not follow the wishes of his beloved Jasmine. It was not as you described in your epilogue- Like Jasmine was still sitting between them. It just doesn't fit.

I am not very educated when it comes to literary device and I would suppose that you were putting a twist in so it wouldn't end like you led us to believe to make the hardasses happy too.

I loved this story but the way I read it they should have gotten back together in a new town where no one knew of her past and where she has already changed from the town slut to staying home and working at making Tim a good wife. I must be wrong though because no other commenter saw it this way. It was certainly different than most!

We all loved Jasmine and Ivy definitely needed counseling from the beginning because she sounded like a Nymphomaniac. Tim's character totally confused me because I couldn't relate to how he could be so smart and so dumb at the same time!

Sorry I use so many words to express my thoughts. I guess it's the only way I get to post here. Like most commenters I am not a good writer myself. Thank you because I really did love this story no matter how you ended it. I guess thatat heart I am a romantic.

but a lot of little mistakes. Reminds me of when I'm typing too fast but still not fast enough to keep pace with my brain. A finger doesn't press a key completely, I mix up the order of the words or miss a word completely. Is it so important to get a story out every week that you jeopardize the quality of your work. You are usually a very good writer and the few grammatical or typing mistakes you make don't take away from the entertainment value of the story. Not true with this one. It was a very interesting story from a behavioral point of view. It was mostly realistic when talking about a dysfunctional families with only a few inconsistencies. I found it entertaining but then I like analyzing behavior. However, having Jazz die in the end really sucked. I really have no idea why you would do that. There was enough drama already in the story and it looked like Tim was finally going to be happy and be able to provide a stable life for the kids so they don't turn out like Ivy. Alas, it looks like another generation of dysfunctional families. It seemed like Jazz was the only stable influence out of the whole bunch. It almost seemed that you killed her off for no other reason than to throw a curve at the readers. I think it hurt the story more than it helped. In my opinion, the story was good but you could have really rung the bell, grabbed the brass ring and pitched a no hitter with this one with a few plot changes and fewer errors. Thanks for another interesting tale. It definately wasn't boring but your little pony wasn't firing on all cylinders this time causing you to come in a disappointing third.

I'm glad that he would never take back and Jazz would turn over in her grave and piss on him if he took Ivy back.

So much pain for one man to carry on from -

You built a pretty unique and remarkable man there - hard to believe many could exist.

You also gave him some good times and happy memories - he did learn over time and Ivy probably did too. BUT how can you believe someone who can't say no even when the yes was to preserve the best part of her life.

Trust and integrity are just so important - it shows here.

of keeping her legs closed. She simply did not have a single iota of self control. As for the guy, well, he comes across as pretty spineless when he continues loving the town whore. He knows she will fuck anything with a penis, yet he always comes running back, setting himself up for more pain.

True he did leave and marry another women for a while but when she died, he could of maintained the status quo with the children (to be honest, I have no idea why he would raise them as his own and stangstar doesn't give a clear explanation of why only simply stating that he "loves" Ivy) and just refuse and avoid all contact with Ivy. True anybody might want to see their ex's from time to time but this guy is way too sentimental and romantic (in the fairytale way) to be able to to pull that off without falling into the same trap over and over again.

But seriously, it's not hard to keep your god damn legs closed and/or dick in your pants. Simply exert some self control and say no.

saved by the last 2 paragraphs!!

he was enuff of a cuckold as it was....yukky

I WAS WRONG !!!!

You had me until Jazz died, I couldn't take that and somehow I think the guy would kill himself with his track record with women.

1st: Town slut 2nd: died 3rd town slut second coming 4th died..... I mean shit couldn't the you have given the poor guy a break and allowed him to live happily ever after with sexy little Jazz. Anyway as always enjoyed the story for the most part.

Just as the story was coming around...

looks. Now what should we expect happens to him?

This poor guy just can't get a break.

why you kill Jasmine, tjis realy make my angry, thats why i give you 4 stars instead of five

when you stretch a story out with extra chapters it usually turns to shit, and this one certainly did !!!!!

Algerian for 'pillow biter'

i gave u a 5 but you fucking killed jazz!

I think you should've ended on an up beat. My thinking would have seen Rose starting to step up with helping with the kids and the house and then......

Great story though.

he gulped the spicy jizz, smoked the meatiest cock, betrayed!

I probably read this story once a month. I simply love it.

the part where Jazz died it the most painful one in story... But predicted it soon after u said that she had a talk with Ivy...

But LOVED it that he didnt go back to Ivy... She was a hoe and should always be alone

I like the comment about Rose moving in and taking Jasimine's place. That would have been the icing on the cake. It was an interesting and touching story about true love, freindshop and dedication.

I did not like the sad ending but it's just a story. I am also glad that you did not let him go back with Ivy. I am sure that Ivy loved him in her way but she is one of those women that cannot be faithful. Thank you for writing.

It has been about a year since I read this story the first time.  After this second reading, I remembered being so p***ed at you for killing off Jazz.  Any story that evokes that much emotion in me makes it a 5 star story!

Keep writing, SS06.

I've read this story dozens of times but I think this is my first time commenting. Like most of the commenters, I am not pleased with the demise of jazz--I too fell in love with her.... It kind of did ruin the story but it also made the story, heartfelt --I teared up when she died. Let us move on to ivory-- I really can't wrap my mind around Tim's total stupidity-- ivy is the towns slut, there is no amount of love or dick that would keep her from fucking 15 guys at once. I don't understand why Tim began a relationship with her after learning about her sluttiness, I don't understand why any man would want to be with a woman who is so slutty that she had 6 kids with different men & have no fucking clue who the kids fathers are. I simply can't fathom why Tim actually stuck his dick in that cesspool she calls a twat without fear of him peeing razor blades? Men really do think with their dicks! Tim was trying to turn ivy into someone/something that she was not, ivy just couldn't /wouldn't refuse the dick. Ivy used that I Love You word a lot but I really don't think she knew nor was she capable of loving or being love, she's so used to spreading'em for all the men in the town that she just didn't know how to keep her pussy shut. Women like ivy aren't meant to be in a relationship never mind getting married, even if Tim had once again had a blond moment & taken ivy back a third time & moved to a new town I really don't think the new surrounding would've mattered--she just would found fresh men to fuck in a new area. She's a fucking slut --moving/relocating isn't going to stop her from fucking anything with a dick. I really think Tim should've walked away & stayed away after the first time --he definitely should've removed the dirty cum slut from his life after catching her the second time sucking some guys dick in her living room. I don't really understand why Tim kept taking her back knowing she can't be trusted & it's only a matter of time before she's pulling gang bangs. Tim's character gave me the impression that he enjoyed sloppy seconds, enjoyed kissing her after she just git done giving the town a blow job,why else would he keep going back for more humiliation? The kids were not his, although I applaud him for stepping up but he didn't have to get back with ivy, if ivy really loved Tim & really appreciated all that he'd done for her & her kids there's no fucking way she would be pulling a train & had the audacity to hint on giving Tim sex after she comes from "work" it's one thing to be in love it's another to be brain dead !tim kept hoping ivy would change & ivy slut-o-meter kept increasing. Nobody asked ivy to marry them because you can't bring a slut home to meet your mommy. I agreed with the guy who was berating his fat kid --Tim should've just fuck'd her like everyone else --not start a relationship with her. I love this story but I would've liked for Tim to wise up after the first time--hell even after the second time. I would've liked for jazz to survive to rub her & tims marriage in ivys gutter trash face.

I will always read it the way you wrote without trying to push any preconceived plot designs on you. You tell a damn good story, and I rarely catch a grammatical, spelling or punctuation error, although I did notice a couple this time. This tells me that you care enough about your reader to re-read what you write and do enough editing to minimize jarring your reader's rapture in the plot by forcing him or her to figure out what exactly you meant. Combine that caring on your part with your innate ability to keep coming up with one good storyline after another, and you have me as a lifetime fan, despite my preference for GMC's, although I have to admit that I have loved the two Mustangs I've owned. Neither here, nor there. You're fantastic at what you're doing for us, Stanger, and I hope you keep right on going. 'Preciate it!

Damn what a good story, just as the rest to this point have been. You are one hell of a writer. I started with your first story at the top of the list, and I swear the farther down the list the better they get. Keep up the good work, and I'll keep up the reading.

Devoted to a skank and a dumbass? You have writing talent but wasted it on these mindless characters. Did the girls mom never teach her about birth control or protection? The skank fucked every guy in town but never got ANY oral sex until dumbass mustangboy , knowing she was prime for having a STD , went down on her rotten pussy. 8 chapters of her spitting out illigit bastards, dumbass raising them, and then him, supposedly the good guy, going Woody Allen with the oldest daughter. Nothing but drivel worthy of maybe one page of one chapter.

I got to Ivy late, and you'll probably never read this but...

I think I told you Mustangs weren't safe. If Jazz had been driving a Volvo she'd have been too slow and would have missed being T-boned.

Rehnquist is wrong. People make bad decisions all the time. Tim lived in the present; on a personal level he seldom looked ahead, and Ivy offered immediate comfort. He took an emotional short cut after he lost Colleen.

I liked that Ivy had six kids. She was the physical type for it. Your description; you must have seen my wife somewhere.

I agree with Ohio. Ivy was an easy person to get to like. Sure she was sick, but her warmth and charisma were as much a part of her illness as her promiscuity.

I didn't like that Jazz died. That was laziness on your part Stang; it was like how they end so many action shows on TV, high speed chase, fist fight, and arrest.

On the other hand I especially like the way you described the problems Jazz and Rose had due to their mother's promiscuity.

You're always fun to just read.

You'll forgive me if I'm a little jealous. You're so proliferous, and yet still so good. Someone somewhere wrote that you weren't really one person but a writing group. Though I don't believe that to be true; it does assuage my jealous anguish slightly.

And last, you do seem to have a lot of commas.

It was a really funny story. I laughed when I shouldn't have. But enjoyed everything except Jazz. She was annoying, bossy and selfish.

This story was good until Jazz died .

3 stars

I gave up on any possible comments as I'm still in awe of this striking story. A masterpiece. Thanks to the author and editor

I've read this twice before but never commented. I have heard of a story like this. Only it was one of my old DI's. When he left the military he already had his BS but went back for his master's and then his PHD. After he moved to America to get the doctorate he wound up in a similar situation. Difference being that after he dropped the slut the first time he didn't even entertain a second. He had made his opinions on fidelity crystal clear to her right at the begining. He kept the relationship with her kids going as he came from a broken home himself and explained it to me that while yes he still loved her and the kids he could never trust her again. He moved away and got married and his wife not only knew how much he loved them she understood. He loved his wife just as much if not more. She died giving him his twin girls. He also raised them as siblings. The oldest girl that he considered his daughter did act like Jazz. And with his two daughters got him to see her as a woman not as a daughter. The girls were born when the oldest (Suzanne) was about fourteen. By the time she was twenty-five they were calling her mommy. He wound up marrying her and they now have four of their own. Twin boys and another set of twin girls. Suzanne is very much alive drives like a lunatic and is either your best friend or your worst enemy. Lord help the woman that she thinks is trying to get her man. She is fiercely loyal to her friends. I asked my friend if he ever thought of his wifes mother, he said yes but as a friend and mother in law.

We never knew that Suzanne heard us. But she was smiles for a month up until the M.I.L. tried to get him to screw her. He refused even as drunk as he was. Of course Suzanne heard about it and read her mother the riot act.

My friend and his wife are still happily married. The mother in law is sick having just been diagnosed as hiv+. In the mean time my friend and his wife have basically moved her siblings into their home and take care of them as their own.

I emailed them a link to your story as it is so closely related to their own.

Wished you would have left Jazz alive but it is your story. Gave it a five.

I find it hard to believe that he never told Connie about his relationship with Ivy's kids. She never asked about all of his trips back or went with him?

And why are the guys who won't accept cheating wives always accused of having "fragile male egos"? It has nothing to do with ego!

There was a pretty good sequel to this story written by trojan5678 which is well worth a read :)

http://www.literotica.com/s/ivy-pt-02-aka-jasmine

Stangstar story that I have NOT read to the end.

What's going on?

Once again I agree with you. Speaking as a man, it has nothing to do with fragile male ego. I believe that the term is self respect. Also with his first wife, it is a bit unbelievable that she would miss that he took off for most of a day to go to see ivy's kids. More surprised that he didn't bring them to visit him and let her get to know them. People as important to him in his life like these kids should have been introduced to his wife. My heart broke for her as she was passing that he failed to give her all of himself, and he was a bit of a dunce that he failed to see it himself.

Still, Karen read the alternate ending. I think you will enjoy it. I know I did.

BTW, stang it's good to see you back again.

Actually; Seeker1107 & KarenE ego IS self-respect/self-image, it is the psychological technical jargon term.

As with most such the general public is exposed to and then misuses and abuses them.

Still waiting for them to try to spin low self-esteem being a good thing.

Or good self-esteem somehow being bad.

After they spent so long making low self-esteem the root of all of societies ills that could be tough.

So, she knew. He could not have gone to Michael's games without her knowing. No big deal which one of us is right or wrong.

Stang, I am so glad that you did not write them back together. No matter now if she has gone three years or ten years without being fucked he should never put himself in the position of giving her a chance to get his heart broken, even a little, with this woman. There are women like that, they can never control themselves. I believe that it is a psychiatric disorder.

I stand corrected and agree.

This is the third story I've read that had the husband divorce, marry another, the other died, and then the husband gets back with the original woman. Twice in this story, though?

This may be your best story. It is emotional, erotic in places, and while exaggerated, the feelings seem real.

Like the pathetic fool that the female lead characters are in his stories , where the woman goes on fucking hoards and hoards of men without any rhyme or reason ...the events too in Stang's story go on happening without any rhyme or reason or logic ..they just go on taking place as and when the Master Story teller wants them ....characters come and go . live and die ....the one who needs to be dead ..goes on living without any shame ....and the one who needs to be alive just dies one day ! Yet to see a story from the master with some logic and reason behind them .....