Izzy and Me

"Paul, I'm so sorry." She looked at me. "Please. Go out and love someone. You don't have to be like me; alone."

I gently cupped her face. "I'm not alone. Isabelle, as long as you are in my life, I will never be alone. I told you before that I love you-" she pushed out of my arms and stood. "Isabelle-"

"You are talking crazy. Paul, you are my brother!"

"I'm in love with you."

She closed her eyes. "I don't want to lose the little I have." I gripped her wrists and shook her firmly.

"Isabelle! Look at me." She did. I stared deeply into her eyes. "There has never been anyone but you, and there never will be." She tried to pull away and I wouldn't let her go. "I want you, Isabelle, but in the right way. I don't want to sneak around trying to find hidden moments with each other. I want to make you my wife-"

"Oh my god." She pulled away from me roughly.

"I want to marry you." She turned away from me. "Isabelle, I love you, I'm in love with you-"

She spun around. "Paul! Look at yourself! Have you looked at yourself?! You are beautiful! You are fucking beautiful!"

I was shaking my head. "You are. Don't you get it? Greg can't see you, but I do. Izzy, I will take care of you, I'm never ashamed of you-" She took a deep breath.

"Paul. Paul, honey, no. No!" I rubbed my face.

"Isabelle, you love me, too. I know it. I feel it. Or you wouldn't have responded to me!"

She looked sick. "I will never, ever, do that with you." Fresh tears appeared in her eyes. "I'll never talk to you again." I felt like she had kicked me in the stomach. "If you don't stop this—ALL of it, jerking off so that I hear you, looking at me like you do...if you don't move on with your own life then I will never talk to you again."

I couldn't trust myself to speak so for a long time all I could do was stare at her. Finally I nodded. "Okay." I left Isabelle's room. Okay.

PT 5

I kissed Rachel. She could kiss for hours. She was addicted to it. She was tall with long red hair and a shape that was perfection. I'd been seeing her for a month but this was the first time that I was going to bring her home.

I thought that when I lost my virginity, I'd be 'sprung'. Rachel was addicted to that as well as all things to do with sex. We did it a lot. But I still thought of my sister more than I thought of my girlfriend.

"Paul?" She broke the kiss and pushed my hair out of my eyes. "Why don't you cut your hair? You look like a girl."

I laughed. "I look like a girl just because I have long hair? I'm over six feet tall with a six pack and no boobs." I continued to laugh.

"Well, it's just that I like short hair. You would look so great with short hair." I stood up and walked into the kitchen of her apartment.

"I'll think about it." I said absently while retrieving a bottled water. "Babe, do you want a water?"

I heard her sigh. "Are you changing the subject?" She stood and sauntered into the kitchen with me.

"Were we still talking about it?" I swallowed some water.

She stepped up close to me and molded her body to mine. "Yes." Then her arms went around my neck and she kissed me again. "Because your hair gets into my mouth more than mine does."

I smirked. "I could wear a ponytail." I kissed her back.

"Ha. That's so nineties."

"It's not that long. It's just over my shoulders. And some people actually like it."

"Like who?"

"Like me."

She smiled. "I'm sorry, hun. I didn't mean to be...you know." She stroked my hair. "If you like it, it's fine with me." I pretended to smile.

Rachel pulled up into my driveway. I had spent the night with her, not something I do often because my parents frowned on it. I either lived here or I lived with her.

"I hope they like me." She said as I got out of the car to open her door.

"Why wouldn't they?" I gave her a lingering kiss.

"Is that your sister?" I turned in time to see the curtain at Izzy's window move but no one was there.

I looked back at Rachel. "I didn't see anyone." I ushered her into the house.

My Mom poked her head out of the kitchen, Dad came out of the den, Amy and Marissa rushed into the room. You would have thought the President of the United States had just come through the door. I looked up at the top of the stairs and Isabelle was standing there with her head flopping and her lip pulled down into a grimace, her hand clawed at her side and her muscles jerking.

I turned to Rachel and introduced her to my family. They each greeted her with a look of awe; as if they could barely believe that I could pull such a beautiful creature. Isabelle's slurred greeting was met with Rachel's cheerleader-like hello.

We gathered in the living room for the obligatory meet and greet. Rachel sat on the couch next to me holding my hand. She is one of those girls that can talk to anyone about anything. She would be some man's trophy wife one day; not mine. I don't love this woman. I love the woman that is sitting across from us in the armchair with her head flopping like mad and her leg twitching and arm stretching and jerking.

Amy gives her a curious look. Even they could see her agitation. Rachel started talking to her in a slightly elevated voice, speaking slowly as if she is both deaf and dumb.

"Isabelle, Paul says that you are majoring in business."

"Economics. Logistics."

Rachel frowned before masking it with a look of interest. Izzy's words had been so slurred that she hadn't been able to make it out, and I didn't interpret for her. Mom got up to finish dinner and I noticed that Dad was checking out Rachel's shapely legs. We watched tv, chatting a bit before I excused us to take her up to my room.

Once the door was securely locked I turned on the radio and we made out for a while as Rachel kept pretending that she didn't want to because my family might hear, but touching my dick until I got hard. Mom called us down to dinner and I could tell that Isabelle was staring at the way Rachel's lipstick had suddenly disappeared.

Isabelle usually talks a lot but she barely said anything unless someone asked her a question. She didn't eat much, either. The food didn't seem to want to go down and she gagged a few times. Rachel averted her eyes but I could tell that she had lost her appetite. I just gave her leg a slight rub beneath the table. Before dinner was over I gave Isabelle a long look. I think that she could clearly read my expression: This is what you wanted.

***

I lifted the last box and placed it into Rachel's car. It was hot as hell out. I had picked a fine day to move out. It had just hit 90 degrees but the humidity is what does you in. I had stripped off my t-shirt and was wearing just athletic shorts. My long hair was held back by a backwards baseball cap and I know it was dripping with sweat.

I took off my hat long enough to swipe back my damp hair. Rachel had not convinced me to cut it. I'd given her an ultimatum; I cut my hair when she cut hers.

It was Saturday, no school. Mom and Dad were playing golf, Amy and Marissa were out doing whatever obnoxious teen girls did. Isabelle was quiet in her bedroom. Over the last two months; since the incident in the basement, our relationship has been strained. For once I was the one that retreated. The way we used to talk and hang out never returned. When she made attempts to engage me in conversation I just responded but did nothing to really initiate it. The rare times that we caught ourselves alone together I made my way to another area of the house. And because of school, my job and Rachel, I no longer picked her up from school.

Last night she had come into my room.

"What's up?" I had asked absently as I leafed through a magazine.

"This is your last day at home."

I looked at her and got off my bed. "Yeah." I moved to my desk chair. "I guess so."

"I'm going to miss you."

"I'll be back to visit. I'm not moving to mars." She began fiddling with things; her movements jerky.

"Do you love her?"

I took in a deep breath. "I'm not in love with her. No."

She started breathing really fast. "Then why are you doing this?"

"Because I can't have you. You are the one that I'm in love with. You are the one that I want to be with. But you said, 'Go out and love someone; someone else.' So I did."

Izzy shook her head and then left my room. I hadn't seen her since.

Now, I was sweating and looking forward to being done with this. My prissy girlfriend dislikes sweat. She has a long list of things that she dislikes. But I can take care of this one. The house is cool. It feels good. I retreat to the bathroom and strip out of my shorts and hop under the shower spray. I was scrubbing my hair when heard the shower curtain open. I didn't get alarmed, I didn't even jump. I took time to rinse the soap out of my eyes before looking at the crooked form of my sister.

She was so beautiful, stripped of her clothes and standing there nude. Her long black hair shielded the sight of her pretty small breasts. She wasn't like Rachel, full of curves and big breasts. She was slender and small. My eyes scanned her nudity. My imagination had not done her justice. She was perfect.

Isabelle stepped carefully into the shower. I took her hand so that she wouldn't slip. Then I turned to face her, allowing her eyes to scan my body. As she stared at me, my body began to react. Her hands came up and she placed them on my chest. I shuddered when they trailed down my belly. Her fingertips grazed the shaft of my cock.

I moved my hands up to push her hair back and at the sight of her darkened nipples I lost my breath. Reaching behind me, I turned off the shower but Izzy had already moved forward and her mouth had latched onto my nipple, her tongue flicked and teased me. My cock shot up. I lifted her bodily and moved us out of the bathtub.

No one was home, we moved naked to her bedroom with me locking the door after us. Again Izzy moved to me, wrapping her arms around me as she showered my chest with kisses. Surprised, I gently lifted her chin. And for the first time in my life I kissed my sister; with passion and hunger and unleashed lust.

"I can't lose you..." She cried out between kisses. "I can't lose, my Paul. You are my beautiful beautiful, boy."

"Lizzy..." I picked her up and carried her to her bed. "You are the beautiful one. Can't you see that?!" I lay down beside her lithe form, looking down at her; taking in everything.

"Through your eyes I can. You make me beautiful." I kissed her again to shut her up. I didn't want to hear the depths of her insecurity. With shaky hands I touched her breast, my thumb rolled her nipple and it grew impossibly hard. Her body began to jerk, but I knew (or hoped) that it was because of unreleased passion and not fear.

My mouth closed over her breast and Izzy groaned. I had wanted to do this for so long. My hand moved down to her dark mound, and I watched her torso jerk even more as I crept downward. Fuck that! I suddenly scooted bodily down the bed and I nestled between her parted thighs. I could see the lips of her pussy as they flexed. I could see the moisture and smell the heat of her passion. Using my thumbs I parted her and dropped my mouth to suck at her glistening folds.

I felt her hands in my wet hair, but only from a distance. My mouth and tongue was busy exploring her clitoris, and dipping into her well. She dripped with wetness and I feasted between her legs. Isabelle's body bucked and very soon she cried out loudly in the throes of an orgasm. It was so very sexy! It was what I had pictured so many months before; her thrashing on her bed in the throes of a passion that I had brought! I sucked and lapped not sure when her orgasm ended, but finally my own need was too great to ignore. I wanted to be buried inside of her body!

I rose above her, shuddering with need. "I won't come in you Izzy, but I need to be inside of you..." Then I slipped into her, feeling her barrier and then gently pushing past it. So that asshole Greg hadn't gotten this far! I was her first! I made every attempt to be careful of her delicate body as I slowly pumped in and out of her tight canal. Her movements had calmed and I worried that I was hurting her. Should she be so tight? I watched her and saw that she was watching me with the same intensity.

"Am I hurting you?" I would stop if so, but prayed that she would say no.

"Don't stop..." She groaned. Her eyes closed and as I moved in and out of her I watched her expression change. Her breath caught in her chest and then she released it in a sudden rush. I felt her hips begin to copy my pace. She pushed against me and I almost lost all control.

Izzy opened her eyes and we stared at each other. I knew our eyes mirrored each other, because we were one side of the same coin; she is my sister, my blood; we were the same.

I lowered my head and kissed her as I sped up my pace. She was still tight, I was still careful, but her grunts and moans let me know that she was enjoying the loss of her virginity and it was making it so very difficult for me to maintain any control.

"I love you..." I murmured against her lips. She nipped them lightly and gripped my ass, pulling me against her.

"I couldn't lose you, Paul. I tried so hard not to come to you, but I couldn't lose you!" I pushed into her faster and faster as if by fucking her harder I could convince her that I was with her.

"Ohhh, Izzie!" I cried out suddenly and pulled out of her, gripping my cock in my hand, squeezing until I had spilled myself onto her belly. I collapsed onto the bed beside her when there was nothing more. Izzie reached down and tentatively touched the semen pooled on her skin. I watched her, tired but content. She brought her fingers up to her mouth and tasted my cum. She looked up at me.

"I always wondered what you would taste like." I smiled softly. Then I got up and tipped to the bathroom where I got a wet towel to clean us both.

"I love you so much Izzie." I said as I wiped away the blood and semen from her body.

"I love you too, Paul; more than you will ever know."

I blinked. It was the first time she'd ever said anything like this. "Well, tell me. Because I'm...in the dark about exactly how you feel."

She sat up and touched my face. "You amaze me. I wonder how a person can mean so much to me. How can one person be my everything; my sun, my moon and my stars? Paul, I love you so much that my heart feels huge with it. You are everything that I want in life."

I closed my eyes and started shaking, tears streamed down my face. Fuck, this is not what I wanted to be doing right now. She put her arms around me, showering my face with kisses.

She continued speaking in a whisper. "I did not want this to happen. I would have let you go, but it hurt so bad to see you with her. I want to be her so bad. I wish I was her-"

"Izzie! No!" I pulled her into my arms and kissed her roughly. But her words bothered me so bad that I had to release her. "Why would you say that?"

"Because...she has you in the right way. I want you so bad, Paul, but I can't have you, not the way she can. I want to be her-"

"Don't say that again!" I stood up. "Isabelle, get dressed." I stormed out of her room and went to the bathroom where I pulled on the shorts that I'd been wearing previously. I finger brushed my long hair back and put on my baseball cap. While I was pulling on my shoes and socks Isabelle came out of her room dressed in shorts and a spaghetti string shirt. Her hair was messy and my heart ached as I replayed how it had got that way. She gave me a questioning look.

"Paul?"

I smiled at her despite the fact that the last thing I wanted to do was smile. I was about to turn our entire world upside down.

"I'll be back love." I walked out the door.

PT 6

I didn't return that night; it was a long night. I called Isabelle just long enough to tell her that I loved her, which I said five times before hanging up. I didn't want her to think that my not returning had anything to do with having second thoughts. I was just very busy.

What I did was to search for my own apartment. I found a small but very nice place near both mine and Izzy's campuses. I was told that I could pick up the keys at the end of the week once all of my references checked out. Then I moved my belongings to a rent by the week motel. It was pretty late into the night when I finally made it to Rachel's.

She had been blowing up my cell phone but I had it turned off.

"Where the hell have you been?!" She ran out to check her car. "I thought you'd been in an accident. I called your house but Izzy said you had left hours ago." I flashed her a look.

Rachel suddenly turned back to the car. "Where are your things, Paul?" But her expression seemed to show that she already knew the answer to that question. I cared for Rachel and I took my time to explain to her that I could never move in with her because the love that I was supposed to feel for her wasn't there. She made me explain it over and over and then after a lot of tears, she kicked me out.

I went back to the motel and slept. The next day would be even worse than this one. Tomorrow I would tell my family that I intended to marry my sister.

***

Sunday dinner is a day where all of my brothers and sisters try to get together even though we seldom make it to church anymore. There are seven of us and my oldest; Bryan has young ones now.

When I came in, Mom asked me where Rachel was. "Rachel and I aren't together anymore, Mom."

"Oh Paul!" I gave her a peck on the cheek. "I got my own place, and I told her last night that we were over."

"Well, you didn't know her very long." Dad commented. "Not that I blame you for rushing things." Then he gave me a broad wink. I glanced at Isabelle who was setting the table. She scowled.

I knew that everyone would depart as soon as the meal was finished so I needed to break my news to them while we ate. It wasn't hard to do, the conversation automatically moved to me and Rachel.

I looked at Isabelle nervously and she gave me a questioning look.

"I don't love Rachel." I commented to my brother David when he asked me how I could give up such a good-looking woman. And of course someone asked what did love have to do with it?

"Well it has everything to do with it. When you love someone you are willing to make the biggest sacrifices in the world for them."

"The biggest sacrifice is giving up-" Bryan glanced at his wife and wisely chose not to complete that thought.

I swallowed and licked my lips. "I couldn't move in with Rachel because I'm in love with someone else."

Isabelle dropped her glass and my mom jumped up to clean up the spill. Isabelle gave me a shocked look.

"You were cheating on Rachel?!" Amy exclaimed.

I shook my head. "I was cheating on the one I love with Rachel." Isabelle was shaking her head no. But it was too late for that. I would love her in the right way because that is what she deserved.

"Everyone...the person I love is someone I've known all my life. She's been my best friend, sometimes my only friend. I love her like I could never love Rachel or any other woman." No one spoke, not even the kids. Dad's head swung around to look at Isabelle. Isabelle stared at me blankly.

"I love Isabelle."

"Oh my god..." David said. Mom dropped her fork and Dad's face started turning red.

"Paul? What are you saying?" He asked. "What the hell are you saying?!"

"Dad, I'm saying that if Isabelle will have me then I want to marry her."

"Oh my god!" My mother said.

"That's incest! It's disgusting and it's illegal." Amy yelled. "You are sick, Paul!"

"Shut up, Amy!" Dad yelled. But he was staring at me with a look of fear and yes, disgust.

"Paul...what have you done?"

Bryan suddenly leaped up and he grabbed me by my shirt front. "You fucking pervert, did you touch her?"