All Comments on 'Jake and Toby Ch. 07'

Just love your writing, great plot and believable characters...keep the stories coming!

I want to thank Big Jon and kv5reed, read below to find out why.

Before I start getting the edit police on my ass.

I had Big Jon to read this chapter before I released it, he hated it, didn’t hate it really but he thought it was too rushed. I had written 20 pages and I knew it was a little lacking but didn’t think that bad. Well I pulled it from being posted earlier in the week and wrote more. I ended up with 28 pages after I was finished. I sent it back to Big Jon and he told me it was good and that I could now post it. So I did.

I sent it to another reader of mine, kv5reed, he read it and found some errors that I didn’t see, that I messed up and confused Toby with Jake a few times. Nothing too major but major enough. But, unfortunately I couldn’t pull the story from the site to correct it this time. Literotica had already approved the story and it was to go live this morning.

I am not going to edit this draft, because the majority of people that will read it will have already read it before Lit will update my story. The last time I edited a chapter it took almost two weeks before it was changed, by then most people who wanted to read have read it. I can deal with Toby and Jake being messed up, I hope that you can too.

For the Edit Police, I hope that you realize that my writing is getting better. I know it was rough in the beginning, but I took the step to actually step out and put my writing out there for others to read. I know the first few chapters of Dave and Leroy were very rough, I have thought about rewriting them, but my ex, said and still says every time I bring it up to him, that it shows how my writing has evolved, that every writer has to start somewhere and they get better the more you write. So for the time being, I leave those first few chapters alone and don’t touch them.

I am going to try to keep these stories for a while (Big Jon would like me to continue until they are over 70 years of age, we will see, how far I can take these characters). I have other stories in my mind and I have let Big Jon and kv5reed read one of them and they like it so far. I am not sure if I want to do another chapter story right now or just finish it off as a onetime thing, we will see. Trying to keep up with the three that I have going is hard enough, and for the people that are waiting for a new Adam and Steve to come out, you will be waiting for a bit, I have a writer’s block on that story. I have a few pages written of chapter 3 but nothing solid yet, I can’t feel where I want to take that story right now. To be honest, writing Ben and Jack in threw me off, and I don’t know how I want to handle that.

Please leave comments, public or private (again I do respond to the private ones, that is how Big Jon and kv5reed were able to read before anyone else), I enjoy reading them and I didn’t get one comment on the last Dave and Leroy chapter, so I don’t know what anyone thinks about where that is going. Spoiler, I am writing wedding vows for the next chapter.

Thank you, kmillerk1

I've been waiting for more of Toby and Doc's story! Please keep writing. It's one of the best!

Your writing is getting better and better. I love a story where I lose myself in the characters and these two are a great couple. Keep the chapters coming! Great job!

This story was absorbing! This is my first foray into gay lit and I'm happy to report I will be back. The writing quality got better and better as the story progressed. I want more Jake and Toby!

I have just started to comment on this story. I find that the characters are so believable that they come accross as real. It is a HOT story!!! I like the fact that you as the writer has brought out the background of the characters, so the reader can see what they have been through to get to the point of where they are now. I hope you will continue with this story for a while to come.

I am amazed that you can write so much love in a story, when you are going through a tough time yourself. I hope things work out for you personally. As I was always told there is a special someone out there for each and everyone of us. And when you are not looking for that someone, they will show themselves to you.

Keep writing, for you do such a good job at it. I can't wait to see where you take the story next. I would love to see these two (jake and toby) one day become married to each other. ( I am a hopeless romantic)

I will follow this story to the end and just to let you know you are one of my favorite authors on lit.

Thanks again

aclassylady

I hope there is more in store for Jake and Toby and that we get to read about it. Only issue I had was with the depiction of Toby's uncles. Could not one of them have handled these redneck homophobes, and put them in their place. They reduced Jake and Toby to whimpering teens, and I resented that.

I just checked to see if you had written another chapter for Jake and Toby and reread this chapter again. I love this story and these characters and really hope you will continue it a little further. I like how you have developed the characters and woven the plot to make a great story. Please continue it!! Thanks

This was a nice chapter but the homophobic uncles ruined it. I don’t see how Bill doesn’t put a stop to that - in his own home! He might not be able to change their beliefs but he can certainly forbid them from name-calling and physical assaults in his home against his son and his boyfriend. If the uncles continue (as they always do) then the parents simply don’t invite them to come to their home when Toby is around. You can bet no one is allowed to call my son and his partner queers, etc or lay a hand in them around me!! It really is intolerable and should not be allowed this story as it just weakens the character of Bill and his love and support of Toby. Makes him out to be a weak pussy overpowered and controlled by his bigoted asshole brothers.