by nomoreundies
Very enjoyable fictional account. Not over the top but fun fantasy. I felt however that you ran out of steam at the end, which wasn't as detailed or smooth as the rest of your story.
A tremendous turn-on, told honestly by one lucky guy. Anyone not wishing they were part of that group is telling a lie.
Nice, breathless teenage style, nice build up at the school camp, nice descriptions of the girls. Maybe a bit more of you?
You could linger a bit more on the sex, let us enjoy more details. It is a bit quick after such a good run up to the crease.
I want to read about Dani & Jake! Where does that go?
What a wonderful description of teen outlook and feelings, along with mild, appropriate uncertainty.
With an ending sexual scene appropriate to beginners, and, fortunately, not like some first time stories that have them unrealistically trying out the whole Kama Sutra, including anal.
So well written, with that whatever-it-is quality that rivets attention and makes me want to keep reading.
All carried forward by excellent language skills -- I was never interrupted/slowed by encountering misspellings or other language problems.
So pleasantly surprised to find this little gem. I was led to it by a comment by nomoreundies on Goodbye, La La Land, by MLyons.
Happy to give it a well-deserved 5 stars.
There is a shortcoming, however.
nomoreundies has not favored us with any more, whether sequel or new story.
Boo hoo.
Paul in Oklahoma
Wish I could have given more than 5 stars. Wish I could have gone to a camp like that.