All Comments on 'James and Ericka Pt. 01'

by Sir_Hotshot

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  • 13 Comments
ThitabeThitabealmost 8 years ago
Great Story

It is a shame that you do not have voting set to on. I would love to give this story a 5 stars review. I see that you listed this as chapter 1. I am looking very forward to reading the rest of the story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago

I think James needs to do everything to his Mom before he leaves for school. He wants to do her good and his Mom does too. He should just do it and know she loves it from her comments and reactions. I hope you write more as your story was so hot. Of course, he'll have to keep his girlfriend happy when he comes back home. Than ks !!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
there's still hope for James and Erika

This is an excellent short story by a gifted young guy who's 18 to 22, so maybe still a teenager like his hero James. (Wish SH allowed voting though, I'd gladly give it 5 big stars.) Erika, James's mother, starts the action, but she unleashes her kid's aggressive masculinity, and he manhandles her voluptuous body like he owns it, to his mom's submissive delight. James blows his young balls and splatters his semen all over his mother, then, like the kid he is, suffers a disabling case of the guilts. Not Erika, who secretly savors her boy's precious semen, licking up the tangy product of her young son's virility. Pt. 02 is still to come, where we all hope Erika will open her boy's mind and free his natural urges. The urge to dominate and to assert his right to use his mother's body to satisfy his primal lust. Erica can teach young James what one of the main things a mother's warm welcoming cunt is for. It's where her boy becomes a man.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
hot

Good hot story.I wish the complainers would just get a life.Enjoyed this story Thanks.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
JUST A WORD FOR IMPROVEMENT

If your not going to have someone edit your work for you....... just, once finished put it down, walk away and come back hours later (at least) and read your whole piece, I'll bet you could clean up the obvious

MISTAKES ....... at least that's what I hope for while reading your next installment ;)

boaman007boaman007almost 8 years ago
Great Start

Awesome beginning can't wait for the next installment!!!

fulballzfulballzalmost 8 years ago
Decent start

With some proper editing, I think you have a rising star. Too short for any action from my sperm factory but a good start nevertheless. A good start. I would give this 4 stars if voting were turned on. Maybe later.

Sir_HotshotSir_Hotshotalmost 8 years agoAuthor
Apologies

Sorry about the mistakes. English is not my first language. Will try and do better in the next story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Good first story

Many good ideas and feelings .Put too many things in one short story. You have good potential, stick to feelings for mom.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
it was good

It was good, you just need to finish the story

Bluebomber5Bluebomber5almost 8 years ago
Not bad for a first effort.

First I will say this, it better than anything I could write. It's a decent first effort. It not terrible but it has some issues. I'm not going to address grammar issues since that is better addressed with an editor. I will say this you can write a hot sex scene well and I like that you keep people's proportions more realistic (nice to see a 6 inch dick rather than a 13 inch monstrosity). The main issue is pacing, things move far too quickly. The moms sudden decision to come on to her son after the BBQ was just too sudden and felt false given her supposed feeling of being vile. You need to allow more build up.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Even though fulballz was not able to unload...

Very good start, specially for some one with English not his first language, even though fulballz was not able to unload some of his accumulated seed :)

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
6ers

6ers dont need a story at all

Anonymous
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