All Comments on 'Jamie, Yvonne, Sarah, David, Ch. 01'

Interesting idea, but flawed as this story points out. This is the "Romance" section of this site, so i hope Jamie and Sarah are able to work things out by the end of the last chapter. Don't let us hang!

For someone with a very high IQ, Jamie seems very immature about all of this. He might think about moving out, and forcing Sarah to make a decision, rather than all of the self-pity.

Interesting story though, and fairly well written.

who cares about what category, the game people play and someone gets hurt, time to

btb

(1) It's hard to see where all the self-righteous rage at the end came from--or why the this couple didn't just agree to knock off the stupid game of "date night with no questions asked and everything permitted" when the game started doing more harm than good. I can't work up much sympathy for the narrator.

(2) About 300 fewer exclamation marks would improve the writing style considerably.