All Comments on 'Jane's First Time'

It happens like this many times. Just friends moves to the next level and often both want it but are afraid to make first move. so real and true. Good job.

Friends make the best lovers :-)

Enjoyed this - short but sweet - follow up please?

Misspellings, omitted words, and that clumsy shift from past tense to present and back... it all sort of marred what might have been a good story.

Not content to criticize and run, I offer examples:

"but I am defiantly not fat either" (definitely, not defiantly)

"you think I sill need to knock" (still, not sill)

"I thongs that cover more than this." (perhaps *have*?)

"brushed over my clit making my twitch" (sloppy)

"Conner's skillful finger were looped around" (it were?)

"I could feel it throb with each just of hot semen he shot" (???)

Too much inattention to detail. Seriously, get an editor.