All Comments on 'Jean Saves Her Brother's Ass'

Thanks for the warning. This story does not suit "my particular desires". The fact that it suits yours speaks volumes.

You sure maid her husband out to be a pussy, Not reality, Everybody knows that any husband would do more than rely on the joke we call our Elites, Other wise an entertaining story about rape

is a good word for the story. You cannot write a story supposedly patched together from reports of two independent witnesses, and THEN write something about the private thoughts and feelings of Jean. If the rationale is that the husband 'fills in the gaps' then the whole thing comes across as his fantasy of what he wanted to happen, and this fantasy-wish negates everything written in the epilogue - the revenge and the bad dreams.

Better to skip the piecing-together backstory and just write it from author's perspective. It will be easier to focus on what you want to achieve in the story (your rape fantasy?).

That aside, my overall feeling while reading the story: irritation at the behavior of a group of assholes, and the contrived stupidity that the author gifts to the heroine to go along with it.

Aaron was a male cheerleader in a story that takes place in the early 1970's? I am skeptical.

900 sex telephone number? Not in the early 1970's.

But weakest of all was Jean's motivation for letting anything go so far. For a young bride looking forward to getting pregnant? Just not credible.

And a quick epilogue of revenge against untouchable rich people, after a long story like that? Feels tacked on, and doesn't achieve the (presumably) desired balance.

I appreciate the effort, but it doesn't hang together. Sorry, no.

until you started telling us what people were thinking. You should have told the story from each person's point of view, maybe? That would not have saved the major problem of describing a rape as an erotic event. I think they have a category/sewer dump for such pathetic violent perverts.

Maybe just write for your sicko fans, and you can all meet for a circle jerk while munching nachos and watching rape porn. Sounds like your kind of friends.

A good effort, but a lame revenge...rape is one of the worst crimes...It deserves no forgiveness...He knew all of the rapists...He should have killed them one by one...No rich and no important and influential parents would prevent that...He would never be a suspect, because he never had any contact with them...A bad drug deal would be considered as a reason...2*

far as I am concerned she was guilty she should have left long before she got dragged in to deep. Although not exactly willing she did not stop the activities, made a game of them, and failed to leave, besides obviously drinking to much and use of drugs. Keep her as a wife, why to have her do it again? You throw out trash, you don't keep it!

Just partisapating in a party like that while your husband is a way is enough for divorce.

I liked it. No divorce, they grew closer because of this bad incident. They was some repayment, probably a bit lacking. There are a lot of ladies that would have loved the party, Coleen did. I love sex with multiple partners and I love rough sex; however, I don't like getting sandbagged, Jean got sandbagged. Love the story, well written. xoxoxoxox Annette

Thanks for the effort. I expect you to get better . 3*s.

AMerryman

The story was good but the ending was not as good as the story. Many of these stories feature smart husbands getting revenge in almost unbelievable ways. This is true here. Maybe a different ending as to how the sex improved their relationship and gave them fantasies or ideas to do it again would be better.

You post most of your stories in NonConsent/Reluctance, and I wonder why this one is not also posted there, especially given the warning that you open with. It is irrelevant to the story that Jean is married. By putting it in Loving Wives, you're posting it for the wrong audience.

From a writing perspective, you use the Prolog and Epilog to introduce information that isn't relevant to the story. I don't think either adds much.

What a selfish/greedy sack of shit the brother was! Aren't older brothers supposed to look out for their sisters?! Not set them up to be gang raped,certainly! The asshole had to know that with no real strippers at a bachelor party,the partiers woud go after the scantily clad girls.

And sis should NEVER have agreed to work a bachelor party,in any capacity! As soon as she found out there were no strippers,she should have made a b-line out of there! And fuck that bullshit about her brother having to move in again with her and hubby.A simple NO,or get lost could have taken care of that!

It amazes me just how large a percentage of stories on this site are full of low-life,classless,shitty people!

Very, very weak!!!

...more of party girl Colleen and her high exploits...Jean and her could have made a lot of money..husband should have known it was expected behavior...hubby is the real loser..

And Colleen should have been penalized. Lance should have been raped while in prison.

they are rapist, the burn was not long enough

Did you ever think of writing a revenge story? This ain't one.

Jeezus, how am I to believe that a supposedly smart girl would continue to make one stupid decision after another. All night long. And keep aiding and abetting with drinks and drugs. I can only believe she got live out her gangbang fantasy. You have to make it more believable than this.

What kind of brother asks his sister to host a bachelor party? Pretty mild revenge for raping your wife.

Slut 100, wimp cuckold 0

Not a revenge story. It is a story of a weak and coward cuck. He did not deserce his wife.

your wife a big nasty whore and you are a dickless wimp.

What the fuck is this? First the dudes get her off 2 or 3 times, then they date rape her? Was it even rape? Sounded like she was into it not to mention she was on top. Then the husband stayed with her And also barely got any sort of revenge? What a pussy ass cuck. Nothing to forgive my ass. Maybe next time you can blow all the men as a fluffer so they can have their way with your wife in front of you. You can share everything, wimp.