All Comments on 'Jenny Plays with the Big Girls'

This surely needs a prt two and three ASAP. WOW, which of us would give one testicle to be in his shoes.

I can't wait to read more.

Your story is off to a great start, one author to another, but I noticed that you use a lot of comma splices. Don't be afraid to break down some of your longer sentences. Using a lot of fifty-word sentences will eventually annoy your readers into leaving. I would respectfully recommend the book "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" by Lynne Truss as a good guide to better punctuation and sentence structure. Keep up the good work, my friend.

add more to the story, add how they change him and what we hears