Jenny Says

Once I was convinced I had his undivided attention I hissed, "Let that be a lesson to you, son. Never, ever mess around with married women. I owe you a beating but I feel generous. At some point, Lorna may approach you to testify in court. Here is what your story will be. She picked you up at a bar, you followed her back here, you were banging her when her husband came home unexpectedly and threw you out. Now repeat that back to me."

It took him only three goes to get it right.

"Okay, I'm not a cruel man, your sentence is hereby suspended for seven years. Say anything else in that time and I can promise you a beating you will feel for fourteen."

I released him and was surprised when he didn't immediately bolt. I took his hand and shook it.

"Nice doing business with you, Jeremy."

The look of confusion on his face was comical as he again produced a sonic boom hitting the front door. Shortly thereafter I heard tyres screeching down the road. I casually returned up the stairs to the bedroom. Lorna hadn't moved a muscle, remaining on the bed with cum leaking onto the top sheet from her still gaping ass. If I had been as turned on by humiliation as she evidently was, my erection could have been used to beat baby seals to death. As it was, I was as soft as overcooked spaghetti.

In respect for our eight-year relationship I thought I owed her an explanation.

"For the record, dear, do you realise that not once in the last two days did you ever ask for my opinion on your little scheme? If you had, I hope I would have been honest enough to tell you that I found the mere thought of it sickening and abhorrent."

"I know Jenny told you that this idea was so great because you would get to humiliate me. When you look back on this, being throat fucked till you puked, then ass raped, well, you've really got to ask yourself. Which one of us has been humiliated, Lorna?"

I watched as her expression change to stunned as my words sank in. Tears formed in her eyes. I said nothing for several minutes while she processed all that had happened. Finally, her face settled on a look of confusion again.

"What's this all been about, Dave?"

"Well, dearheart. Once I realised our marriage was beyond redemption, I pretended to acquiesce to your little scheme to cuckold me. Taking into account all that you've done I decided you deserved to take nothing away from our marriage, I was left with a problem. How to make it look like you'd broken your marriage vows and hence trigger the infidelity clause in our prenup? It took me three days to decide I really didn't have to do anything. All I had to do was to go along with your plan and with the help of my trusty camera there," I nodded towards the camera still resting on the arm of the chair, "wait until you hoisted yourself on your own petard. I planted the idea of you doing anal with him hoping it would take root to make the video as bad as I could. The throat fuck was an unexpected bonus. I was going to take you up on your offer of not being here tonight, but I decided to witness it. By watching you trying to destroy me with such gusto, I'm pretty sure I've hardened my heart to leave you with nothing and with no chance of me changing my mind. You know what a softie I can be."

I watched as Lorna's eyes flicked back and forth from me to the camera. She suddenly knew what it represented. Still, I was taken off guard when she lunged for it, grabbing it by the strap and bolting for the bathroom. Shortly thereafter I heard the toilet flush. I had no doubt the innocent SIM card was heading for the sewerage plant. I patted my pocket, confirming I still had the SIM I'd removed earlier. The one with the stud's permission to be filmed on it.

When the bathroom door opened again, I couldn't see the expression on Lorna's face. I was too busy removing the hidden camera from its place of concealment on the bookshelf. A lot of thought had gone into the placement of this camera. There was only one place in the whole room that showed the entire bed but not the chair or the door. I thought back over very recent history. Had the performers ever directly addressed the occupant of the humiliation chair? Possibly twice. Two portions of the soundtrack would be corrupted I predicted. I was already mentally deciding at what point the batteries had gone flat. I hoped no one would ever probe to the point that they would discover it was plugged into the mains.

Lorna, watching me retrieve the second camera, finally collapsed in utter defeat. I felt the need to justify myself.

"For the record, dear, I sincerely believe I never treated you with anything but the utmost respect and affection. Until you started to blackmail me under Jenny's tutelage, I would have been happy to father our children and live happily ever after with you. I don't know exactly when you went off the rails, but you did, that's for sure. A tip for your next marriage, if you're going to plot with a friend, don't do it where you can be overheard by a $249.95 listening device."

At this point I picked up the envelope from the same shelf that the camera had been on and handed it to Lorna. She absentmindedly lifted the flap and pulled out the divorce paperwork.

After watching her stare blankly at the pages for the best part of a minute, I interrupted her reverie.

"Yes, Lorna, our marriage is over. I will leave for the night. When I come back I expect you to be gone forever. I thank you for eight, mainly happy, years but I reached my breaking point about three weeks ago. You can pack all your clothes and jewelry while I'm gone. Please don't be here when I return. I urge you not to try and fight the divorce or the terms. Otherwise your parents, other family members, friends, and fellow church goers will get a copy of our family home movie. You know, the one with you puking, being sodomised, and trash talking me. Don't even think that little Jeremy will back you up in court. He is choosing self-preservation."

Lorna wasn't looking so good. I had to strain to hear her when she muttered.

"But we've already decorated the nursery."

Something inside me snapped at that comment. After all, my dreams of a happy family in the near future had been dealt a blow as well. Fuck, how self-centred had she become?

"Maybe you should listen to your next husband when he suggests you choose your friends more wisely. Give my regards to Jenny, I certainly will."

With that I strode from the room, down the stairs, and out the front door, thinking; note to self, next wife to be saner and smarter.

Could I have just said no when Lorna raised her desire to turn me into a pussy? No. The drive was obviously so strong in her it would have managed to manifest itself somehow, someday. Besides, half the disrespect was in the asking. Plus, no one likes being blackmailed.

Only then did I return to my game plan. There was one loose end still. The conniving bitch that had started all this. There was only one place she would be, and I didn't need to have seen the partially opened bedroom curtain to know where that was. Knowing the bitch as I do, I knew she wouldn't be able to resist peeping in on my humiliation. That was her payoff after all. The reward for months of effort.

Grabbing the pickaxe handle that I had conveniently left near the front door I started circling the house. She surprised me by not being outside the bedroom window. She was hidden in the bushes near the door. Obviously waiting for me to leave so she could pick up the pieces of Lorna. I looked at her. Cornered as she was, she looked at the weapon in my hand. I saw the realisation of her immediate future register. She knew the video camera in her hand was history, as was probably her watch and rings if I wanted it to appear like a mugging. I kept staring into her eyes. Even in the dark I recognised the precise moment it dawned on her that my only option here, apart from killing her, was one way or another extracting a promise of silence from her.

After briefly thinking about my alibi, I stepped forwards.

Hi, my name is Dave and I believe in the equality of the sexes. Equal pay, equal respect and equal accountability for evil acts perpetrated. I value respect, trust and honesty above all else. Mess with one of those and I will cut you off. Mess with all three and I will cut you down. I believe that good things have happened to good people and bad things have happened to bad. I am not an evil man. An evil man would have enjoyed what I just did. I didn't. But I didn't mention satisfaction did I?

The end.

No joke this time, just some general knowledge relating to conjugal rights, plus other marriage stuff. Remember, a day without gaining knowledge, is a day wasted.

In olden times you needed a licence to have sex. The licence was issued by the king via his representatives. The licence had one man's name on it and one woman's. They could only have sex together. With the king's blessing, they could now 'Fornicate Upon Consent of the King'. Yes, they could now FUCK. That piece of paper evolved into a marriage licence.

In Saxon olden times it was the father of the bride's duty to supply his new son-in-law with mead for twenty-eight days after the wedding. Mead is made from honey and thus this became known as the 'honey moon'.

Also in olden times, on the wedding day, the father of the bride would throw one of his daughter's shoes at the happy couple. This symbolised the passing of responsibility for her upkeep from him to her new husband. And you wondered why we tie shoes to the back of the wedding car!

Enjoy

The author