All Comments on 'Jenny's Second Surprise'

1. first story was better from story-telling point of view because it had dramatic progression from someone with a fantasy to someone enacting a fantasy. There was movement.

The second story was a straight narrative about one encounter. There was action but little or no movement, so, it was the weaker story.

2. For this reason, the 2nd story depends much more on the reader enjoying the content of the action. 2nd story was more specific than 'group sex'. It had more of the characteristics of BDSM. The appeal will be to a specific audience. I don't read BDSM stories much myself. The writing can still be technically good, but the subject matter just doesn't interest me.

One other comment about content. You should be careful when writing something like

" Ever since our threesome with Adam, I had craved the feel of his cock inside me again. I wasn't in love with him the way I was with Ben, but I missed him dearly."

My immediate thought was "love him in the way..???". There might be a backstory to explain how anyone can be in any kind of love after a blind-fold anonymous fucking. But, without the backstory this single sentence is just weird. It's enough to say that she wants/loves his cock. That, at least, is self-explanatory, given the 1st story.

I guess I’m not into hurting my wife but I couldn’t stomach what was happening. It wasn’t even a turn on for me. It was well written but I quit after page one.