All Comments on 'Jess was a Bitch Ch. 02'

This doesn't match the backstory from chapter 1

"She didn't cry at grandmother's funeral, not that mom had either. Mom's dad hadn't attended. No one said anything about it. I always thought he was dead but dad told me he'd simply walked out one day."

Yeah, I have to agree w/ anonymous. That's pretty odd. The tale of the maternal grandparents changes completely from one chapter to the next.

To borrow a phrase from the Genii, "don't I feel sheepish". When I wrote the first part I intended it to be a 'one and done'. Jess and Jon get all riled up, have sex, go to sleep, the end. But, readers liked it and I liked Jess and Jon. I needed the mom to recognize herself in her mother, obviously forgetting I'd already bumped off her mother (not her dad) in the first post. Talk about your bone-head continuity errors.

I don't suppose I can pull a "Dallas" and claim it was all a dream?

My apologizes for not paying close enough attention.

Okay, for those of you willing to go along for the ride from henceforth remember:

- in chapter one the author had his head up his ass and killed the wrong person

- Gloria's mother, Jess and Jon's, maternal grandmother may be alive, not their grandfather; that poor bastard is toast.

Turbidus

I am rather enjoying this story so far. who cares about a few minor errors? not me

6 stars! Keep it coming! Despite the little faux pas, I really like it! I'm watching for the next chapter! Get to it please?

this is getting good. keep going please

I think the story is going great, please continue.

You can always re-write the sections of the first chapter to fix the continuity errors and then submit it as a revision to replace the existing first chapter. That would eliminate future readers who come across the story from wondering what is going on if they haven't read the comments.

Just one request... please never go down the surprise family orgy route. That would just sooo kill the atmosphere.

You've done a good job continuing a story that was intended to be a stand-alone. Mistake? Mom considered her mother to be dead even if she wasn't certain of the fact. It's no big deal.

When dad was spying on his kids I got a sinking feeling the this was going to turn into a father-daughter, mother-son, family free-for-all. Please don't do that. The tender story of the brother and sister overcoming their long-standing loathing of each other would be lost in the telling. If this story takes that route you will lose me and prove once again that sequels generally ruin a good story.

All of that said, I find your ability as a story-teller well above average and your skill as a writer exceptional. Thank you.

This is your story and do as you wish, but if you do take audience opinions into account, please don't do another family orgy story. You have a great story with the siblings, don't water it down by having them fuck their parents.

Sure hope you continue it!!!!!! I am hooked!!!

Damn....thought they only left you hanging in the movies? Please continue!!

I liked this better than part 1. I agree with many. Do not turn this into a full family romp. If i may suggest, keep the siblings going for a while and using them to teach tge parents how to love again.

Let the man write his own story and quit being a bunch of control freaks and shit heads who live their miserable lives to try and tell others how to live theirs. You cocksuckers make me want to puke. What a bunch of assholes you ALL are. May you each rot in hell....

I don't mind the suggestions. My stories seem to take me in directions I had not intended when I first started writing them. The few times I've tried to outline a story from beginning to end didn't really work; I abandoned the outline fairly early. I'm not entirely sure where it will go. I do need to finish another story before I get back to this one. I beg your patience and, again, thank you for the interest and suggestions.

Don't worry about the direction the story takes. If the story tells you it needs to take a right turn when you were thinking left then that's fine . Me personally I'm really enjoying it. I love stories where the characters are three dimensional and they grow. This story is making me want to check out the rest of your work.

sex or not, this chapter ateps it up from the last one with good writing.

cliffhanger, drama, character development, realistic interaction.