All Comments on 'Jessica: The Next Day'

Is English your native language? You keep interchanging the words her and your. This is a shift from third person to first person narrative and you usually do it in the same sentence. Very distracting.

If you wern't anonymous I would reply to you

Short, sweet and to the point. It felt like coitus interruptus when I got to the your/her parts. Sorry but I did like the story.