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All Comments on 'Jill Ch. 01'
by 5425TVR
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- 5 Comments
mcollectalmost 12 years agoI want to hear the conversation
Great first story, but you need to continue!
striderianalmost 12 years agoconstructive criticism
You need an editor. Someone's middle section is their "waist," not their "waste.". A couple of other spelling issues caught my eye.
Otherwise, fairly good job.
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Jill Ch. 02 Next Part
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