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- First Time
- Jill Ch. 01
- Page 2
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Click hereNeedless to say, the dinner with Jill's family was not what I expected.
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5 Comments
striderianalmost 12 years agoconstructive criticism
You need an editor. Someone's middle section is their "waist," not their "waste.". A couple of other spelling issues caught my eye.
Otherwise, fairly good job.
mcollectalmost 12 years agoI want to hear the conversation
Great first story, but you need to continue!
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Jill Ch. 02 Next Part
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