by DarkFang
Great work ..... Love the story and how happy JJ and Ash are.... Makes me smile
Only getting better with each chapter! Keep them coming in orderly fashion :)
There doesnt seem to be any more dramatic threads to resolve, so it would be natural for the author to end it there. This 5th chapter in particular seemed to be a bit of a filler. The story arc was warm and satisfying, I cant really ask for any more. But I do anyway.
This is perhaps the best story I have seen here in the last ten years. You have a good story line going---and I loved the rewrite you did on the beginning. Your characters are believable and engaging, and your ability to describe what they are feeling and thinking is awesome. PLEASE don't stop here.
I'm curious as to where you are taking this.
To a clash between Ashley's innocence and JJ's experience. Or more on the topic of JJ's insecurities and need to roam.
To a hot group sex on the camping.
To a developing and deepening of the relationship (NOT an easy task to write this).
Am not sure where I would have taken it as a writer, and where I would like it to go as a reader. So it's interesting to speculate :)
Good chapter, well written, hot sex, lovely character build. You got me hooked...
This is no doubt a great story. I love all the characters including the mom. JJ and Ash are soooo sweet together. The pace is slow and perfect. And just the simple things like writing about going to masturbate on the spot of the bed where you can smell your lovers scent is totally realistic and a behaviour I have done myself 🙈. Anyway, I agree - I feel like I don't know where the story is going either - it can take many turns but I think that is part of the beauty of it. And I look forward to following where-ever it leads. DarkFang you are a great storyteller and I appreciate the details and thoughts you put into your stories making them super realistic - keep it up!!!!
Brilliant writing, brilliant story line, totally agree with all comments so far, but I can't wait to go with the characters where ever it is you decide to take them,
First, fore, please. This story has a long way to go yet, but keep writing other stories, as you obviously have the talent we need to make this site continue to be what it is - the "Ne plus ultra" of all erotic sites!
One of the best stories, it's ok that u take a long time to write each story cause they come out so amazing and they are long so it's ok, I check every day for the jj and ash story and get super excited when I see a new chapter, like u taking longer makes me more excited when a new chapter comes on, I love ur story hands down the best story I've read so far please don't end it any time soon
Still enjoying your story, DF, although this chapter didn't have quite the same impact as the previous ones (worth the five stars though). I did get one good laugh out of it---Chloe's eating habits, reminded me of our kids when they were teenagers. This chapter rounded off well if there's more to come, less so if it was the end (although I do hope not).
FANTASTIC story!!! ... I'm HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, that they got together. It is about time! ... LOL, I LOVE, EVERYTHING YOU WRITE!!!
KEEP writing, you are doing a WONDERFUL job, with this story! I STILL want to see this as a book.
Their romance is awesome! Patiently awaiting the next chapter!
Thank you
L
I have enjoyed every part so far, its so sweet and romantic, I can feel what JJ is thinking about though, it have a feeling I know where you are going with her
I love this story! I'm just wondering will there be another chapter
Hallo DarkFang!
Wow!... "JJ and Ashley", is just getting better and better, with every chapter... we're looking forward to reading chapter 6,,, yes! ... Thank-you! _ 5-Stars and 5-Orgasms!
From Queen Jackie and Kat, your very kinky dyke friend,
Gay Kat. 💋
I'm really enjoying reading this story. It is perfectly paced and I have no desire for it to end.