Jocks & Cheerleaders Ch. 01

They had such fun in the kitchen, producing food between them. Brushing against her in the small space was an embarrassing delight. Embarrassing because he found himself hardening each time, and was terrified she notice and think he was just interested in sex.

She did notice his problem, and was touched that he tried so hard to hide it from her. She was pleased he knew his way round the kitchen and could cook. Truly an excellent trait in a man. She noticed his relief that he didn't have to try to turn from her once they sat on the settee to eat.

The food was good and, putting their dishes on the floor they sat back with their wine. Once again chatting was easy, and ideas flowed between them. At one point he was telling her how bad he felt about the maths before she came along, and she put her hand on his arm in sympathy. His reaction was simple and beautiful. He picked up her hand, and drawing it to his mouth he leant down and kissed it gently.

Angel forgot to breathe, and unconsciously lifted her head. His lips moved slowly from her hand to her lips and they kissed. Fire pulsed through Jock at the exquisite touch of her lips. His hands reached out to hold her and pull her to him.

As the kiss deepened, Angel was fighting the fog of passion in her brain. Why was this such a bad idea? How could it be? It felt so good. Then she realised his hands were reaching for her, and the shock cleared her brain like a douche of cold water, and she pulled away blushing furiously and panting.

"Angel?" His concerned query made her feel even worse.

"Jock, I can't do this. I'm a living lie."

He froze. It couldn't be happening again. Then he pulled himself together. Of course it couldn't. Living lies didn't tell you that's what they are.

She noticed his shock, and nearly broke down. "It's my twin you want, not me. She's the pure one. I'm the lie."

"No. You're wrong. It really is you I want. I don't know your twin. I've only seen her once. The girl I've fallen in love with is right in front of me."

Angel burst into tears and sobbed uncontrollably. Jock pulled her into his arms and soothed her, rubbing his hand up and down her back and murmuring consoling words into her ear. She gradually subsided. He gently mopped her cheeks with his handkerchief, then handed it to her. She blew her nose and wiped her eyes, still hiccoughing and sighing.

Then she straightened her shoulders, and looking as though her heart was breaking, told him, "I'm sorry, Jock. I can't do this. You must go and find yourself someone who isn't living a lie."

His response was to kiss her soundly. "I'm not going anywhere until I've heard about it and made my own mind up. Let me tell you about me, then maybe you'll feel safe telling me about you." He laughed. "Or maybe you'll want to run a mile."

Hope flared in him as she laid her head on his chest and her breath became more even.

"When I arrived at my last school, I was nervous joining in with a crowd of my year and above who had been with each other all through school." Her hand was stroking his arm, comforting him. "There was the usual established crowd of jocks and cheerleaders, but my nerves were greatly eased because this really beautiful girl kind of took me under her wing and introduced me to them all. It turns out she was the head cheerleader, and I was immensely flattered that she wanted to go around with me. We started dating, and I was a fair way to thinking she might be the one."

His throat started to close with emotion as he re-lived his experience, and his voice wobbled. Angel cupped his cheek in her hand, and said quietly, "Go on."

"It was about six weeks into the term, and she asked me to a party. I didn't know, but it was at the quarterback's place. She'd thought I would be the new quarterback, and she had suddenly realised that I wasn't in the running. We went together to the party, and she said we had to go in under a line of players and cheerleaders because it was a tradition. When we got to the start of the line, they were all there, player and cheerleader with joined hands making an arch, and she pushed me forward, saying, 'I'll be right behind you'. She was ..... but, ...." His voice suspended, and he struggled to continue.

Suddenly she realised he was crying, and she reached up and kissed him, wiping away the tears with her thumb. She strained to hear the whisper.

"She was with the quarterback, and she'd organised for them all to chant." He was silent for a moment, struggling to regain some semblance of calm. His voice was stronger. "I walked the whole length of the line, then just carried on walking out of there."

Her heart was breaking for him. The strength it took to do that. And she knew there was more he wasn't telling her.

"I vowed I would never go out with a cheerleader again."

There was silence for a long time as they both processed their thoughts and reactions. Finally Angel said diffidently, "Not all cheerleaders are bad."

After a bit, he said flatly, "You were one." It was more of a statement than a question. She nodded.

She started slowly. "I was going out with the quarterback. I was the head cheerleader. Like you, I thought he might be the one I ended up with." As her story unfolded, she gained in confidence. "To start with, he was lovely, and we had a good time. But he started to want me to do things I wasn't comfortable with. I realised that he didn't know I was intelligent, and didn't want me to be because it would threaten him. Then he took me to a party." She smiled up at him, acknowledging the similarity to his story. But the smile was chilled with the emotion of what was to come.

"We went upstairs part way through the party, and we were making out. He was being really sweet, and I let him undress me a little so he could touch and kiss my breasts." Her face flamed. Partly at telling him, and partly with the memory. "Then suddenly all his mates came into the room, and I ..." Her voice broke, and tears were streaming down her face.

He held her again and soothed her.

"I ... I .... c c .... c..an't tell you." She hid her face in his chest.

He lifted her into his lap, and drew her close. He poured his love over her until she calmed again.

"His eyes were shining with anticipation, and I realised that they were .... They were .... They were all ... going to ..."

"Bastards. Bloody bastards." He said vehemently.

She was immensely cheered by his reaction, and managed to choke out. "I woke up in hospital."

"Oh God." Was wrung from him. "I'll kill them."

She could feel the tension in him, and she loved him for it. "The police pressed charges, the doctors matched DNA and testified, and they all went to jail for a very long time. The police counsellor and doctors helped me to come here away from it all." She felt the tension lessen slightly and a smile. She looked up in amazement to find him grinning at her.

"That's the only good bit. I wouldn't have met you otherwise."

She smiled back at him, despite the awful memories. "Mum always used to say every cloud ..."

He very gently kissed her, then pulled her back into his arms and dropped a kiss on her hair. They sat again, thinking, coming to terms with what had happened to them.

Suddenly she stiffened and sat up. "That's not all." She could see that he was horrified.

"Angel, surely nothing worse happened to you?"

There was no help for it. She plunged in. "I wear a fat suit."

"I'm sorry?"

His blank astonishment almost had her running from the room. Then understanding dawned. "Ah. I did wonder about the industrial strength underwear I thought I felt, but I don't have much experience."

She punched him on the arm in retaliation for the underwear remark. "And I don't have a twin."

His eyes widened. "That was you?"

"So now you know I'm damaged and a psychopath, you can run away."

His face was deadly serious. "Angel, if I run anywhere, it will be to get a marriage licence."

Angel's mouth dropped open, the shock evident on her face. "How ... how can you say that?"

In answer, Jock picked her up and stood her on wobbly legs next to the settee. He held her hand and went down on one knee, "Angel, I love you. Will you marry me?"

Tears steamed down her face, which still showed shock. "I can't." She whispered.

Jock's world came crashing down round his ears. His face crumpled, and he sat back against the settee breathing hard.

Angel was horrified at the effect her answer had on him. She sat in his lap, tears still streaming down her face. "Jock, I can't because I'm damaged." She explained.

A tiny hope sprung up as he listened. "Can I take that as a maybe?" He whispered. "Will you let me ask you again when we know each other better?"

As Angel felt the pressure recede, she calmed and realised that her shock reaction had nearly scuppered the whole relationship. Then she was amazed as she realised it was her reaction to his proposal that had done that, not the terrible things that had happened to her.

"Jock, I'm sorry. That was not well done of me. My fear got the better of me. Yes please."

They held each other as the world kept turning, and eventually sleep overcame them. He woke later stiff and cold. Very gently he picked her up and carried her to the bedroom, snuggling them both under the quilt. She burrowed into him and sighed in her sleep.

For a long time he lay awake thinking. He'd actually proposed marriage to a cheerleader, a species he'd despised for years. Of course in theory he realised that they weren't all bad, but in practice that had been his reaction. OK, she was an ex-cheerleader, and her experience had been so much worse than his. His heart broke all over again as he tried not to imagine what she'd been through that had put her in hospital. Suddenly he thought how strong she must be to be as normal as she was. He grinned to himself as he thought of the genius stroke of wearing a fat suit to discourage attention. How the hell had he managed to get past her defences? As he drifted off to sleep, immeasurably comforted by her warm presence in his arms, he thought how glad he was that he had.

He woke later than usual, gradually realising where he was, and opening his eyes to see Angel's breathtakingly beautiful face a few inches from his own. A pair of enchanting green eyes were looking into his. Full of fear.

"Angel, I didn't do anything. We just held each other and slept."

Her face relaxed slightly. "How did you know that was what I was worrying about?"

"After what you've been through, I'm surprised I'm here at all. I was thinking in the night how lucky I am to have broken through your industrial strength defences."

A reluctant laugh broke from her, as he had intended, and she whacked him on the arm again.

"You have no memory of what happened that put you in hospital, or how you got there. So it's not surprising that you are afraid things might happen to you that you know nothing about. Look at me Angel." He said seriously, and gently held her head between his hands.

"I would never do anything with you or to you without you knowing, and if you ask me, I will always be completely honest with you and tell you exactly what happened. Then you can compare it with your memory of what happened. Eventually you will trust that they are identical, but after so much hurt it will take many many comparisons before you start to believe it."

She looked into his eyes, and saw such caring she could feel the tears forming in the corners of her eyes. His thumbs caressed her cheeks, and he leant forward slowly and brushed her lips with a kiss which rocked her to the bottom of her soul with its tenderness.

"Tell me what happened last night and this morning."

"You were shocked that I wanted to marry you. You cried, and we held each other for a long time while we both calmed down, and eventually drifted off. I woke up much later cold and stiff, so I picked you up and took you to your bed, cuddled us up together and covered us with the quilt. You sort of burrowed into me and sighed in your sleep. Next thing I knew was when I opened my eyes just now to see a breathtakingly beautiful face a few inches from mine."

"Oh God. You carried me to bed and I didn't wake up." Her face flamed and he could read the shock in her eyes.

"Angel, it's no big deal."

"But don't you see, it is? I didn't know you'd done it. You could have done anything and I wouldn't know." She was becoming hysterical and very frightened.

"Angel, you would have woken up if I had made any sudden move, or done anything other than carry you gently to bed. I'm really sorry. I should have thought about that and woken you up."

"You really think so?"

"Yes, I really do. Tell you what, we'll try it tonight." He had suggested it as a way to calm her fears, but he suddenly realised the benefit for him if she accepted. It would indicate that she trusted him and didn't want him to leave.

"OK. I like that idea. And it gives us a chance to get to know each other better. I know I liked being cuddled by you."

Her honesty and straightforward talk was disconcerting, but you certainly knew where you stood. He tried to match it.

"You have no idea what a privilege it was to cuddle you last night. And to wake up next to you this morning was unbelievable. I don't want that to end."

The significance of his statement was not lost on Angel, and it gave her both a warm feeling and a dread that she couldn't do it.

"Listen, you stay there. Relax and recover a bit, because you've had a terrible shock. I'll make us some tea."