All Comments on 'Jocks of the South Pt. 02'

I loved Jocks of the South Pt. 01 and now I'm hooked with this series! I'm intrigued with the brunette guy at the gym. And please include the older McCarthy if you can find some time. Thanks!

Nothing here??

Please continue. I'm interested in seeing what's next

I also can't see anything......

that was great! the other guys were really hot too, i hope maybe that brunnette will appear later. will we get to see francis's brother too?

I love nothing more than watching guys go at each other. I'd love to snowball with both guys. Very hot xoxoxo Annette

Fucking hot. Keep them cumming. I like this dynamic and the characters are so real. Fuck man, you're amazing.

Please continue this as a series! I'd love if they became to develop actual feelings for each other

oh my god, that was really hot. please continue to add more, I'm really loving this series

I'm actually loving this series so far! I normally get turned off by rough sex but Francis seems like a nice guy deep down.

Love this series so fucking hot.

Next time have Francis lift up nick and pump him in his arms.

Have Nick & Francis rim each other then spend the whole night fucking.

this was so good! even better than the first! im so happy that you are writing new ones, please keep it up! I think francis is really hot but also i hope he realizes his true feelings for nick. like the last commenter, i believe he's secretly a really nice person

NOTE TO THE WRITER: These are only my views on your story, please don't take it personally, rather have it as constructive criticisms.

Reading this second installment of your story makes me think that you are wasting all the potential of your story to be a great one. First off, the premise of this story is good because it has an opportunity to be developed to a well-written story, but reading through this second chapter, it appears that you are more concentrated on delivering "fuck sessions" and the expense of romance. Sure, some people buy that and prefers that even but won't you at least try to serve something different aside from sex. So far, ironically your characters devoid "character". They need development and back stories that you can use to ignite chemistry. Honestly, all there is at this point is simply physical chemistry; a showcase of "physical release" and no intimacy present. How about mental, or emotional commonality between that two characters?.And how about Nick, will he ever be portrayed as a stereotypical gay who just craves for sexual action or intercourse? Will he ever be seen by your readers as someone with great personality, ambition, other interests aside from being a voyeuristic teenage gay guy? Or is Francis going to be someone who transforms from being a jerk who only uses Nick as cum dump (sorry for the term) until he sees another girl that he can bed?

Don't get me wrong, I truly like your story its just that it's getting old with all the fucking and screwing. It doesn't hurt to add some spice to the story does it?

Hopefully, you can consider my thoughts on the next chapter of this story.

Thank you,

s-l-a-m

Hi everyone! Thanks for supporting my work this far and for understanding that this is my first erotic series, and that there is definitely room for improvement.

I just wanted to let you all know what will be coming up in the story, but also, this comment's purpose is to reply to the last commenter, 's-l-a-m', in an attempt to explain myself. Please don't take this as me trying to argue or 'clap back', I just want to explain my side of the story and how things will change as more parts are added :)

This series is about lust. Plain and simple. The purpose of this story isn't to deliver mind-blowing insight into the gay psyche or push the boundaries about what erotica can be, but rather, it focuses on sex, and the developing relationships between Nick and the other characters. Also, it is loosely based of my personal experiences in meeting a boy like Francis and how we dealt with his inner demons, together. This being said, I've only posted 3 parts so far, and in all honesty, the inciting incident wasn't entirely present until part 3. I've actually written a total of 9 parts so far but I'm editing and proofreading them before I post them. As of chapter 9, I can safely say that besides the constant sex (this is erotica, after all), there is a change in certain characters and we even get to see Nick blossom, in a sexual sense. There will be hints at backstory that explains the actions of some characters, but won't be fully explained until the series is near being finished. There is only physical chemistry at the moment but since I hope to have a total of 20 parts to this story, I've already planned to explore more deeper and emotional ideas and themes. Again, I've only posted 3 parts so far so I feel it's a bit early to judge where exactly this story is headed based on the first 2 chapters alone. By parts 5, 6, 7 and 8, I believe you will see that there is more than just sex to this story, despite it still being the major part to most chapters. But I also don't claim to have amazingly deep themes or ideas either. It's still being written for fun and to arouse the readers.

I hope all of you amazing readers, commenters and thoughtful advisors stick around till then to see just how the story develops and changes. The point of this series is to arouse you, but there will be more than just sex in the later parts. It just takes some time to get there and set up the premise. Thanks again and don't be afraid to leave your own thoughts and ideas the way s-l-a-m did. On that note, I invite s-l-a-m to contact me via email so we can have a more open conversation about the series, and so that I can also get some more insight on what you think about future parts that are added. I'd love to chat :)

Thanks everyone for your support! I really appreciate all your feedback and for sticking around.

~Scott

What ever MR. Slam is nothing, now if he has a story on here Ill read it too. But until he produces something that might be worth while, Ill enjoy this authors story.

Just remember as well, MR. SLAM, not everyone has a writing level, YOU, may enjoy.

Enjoy the story for what it is: A Str8 boy who really needed to get off, and found out he liked fucking ass.

Just so happens it was a boys ass and not a girls.

I find it to be a really enjoyable story, it made my cock drip. So it aroused me, just for the sake it is SEX.

J

I think two chapters isn't enough to get an idea of where a story is headed, so s-l-a-m's comments were premature, in my opinion. But that's no reason to call them names. Scott, thank you for giving us an idea of what you have ahead for the series. Now those who don't have the patience to wait can stop reading. I'm here for the duration, tho. Keep writing!

Everyone of those comments makes sense. While there is nothing wrong with writing stories that revolve solely around sex, many times a story feels like something more. Granted, there are pretty amazing erotic stories where characters are literally just looking for sexual gratification, and also bad stories where the author tries to develope their characters. I think the reason people expect more from your story is that it really does have potential for being a good tale that doesn't revolve around sex. You characters, while still relatively one dimensional at this point, have hints of having underlying feelings and emotions that have not yet been spoken. I have yet to read your following chapters so I won't comment on that further.

And I don't think people should condemn comments for having criticism, seeing that it was constructive. As a writer myself, it's constructive criticism that helped me improve my writing.

But anyway, good story so far Scott

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE FRANCIS AND NICK!!!

Hot sex, like it a lot and will continue with the series.

What is a horny look? Or smile? I have no idea what that means and you're missing an opportunity to paint a more specific picture for your readers. What happens to his face? How does it move?

He came looking for his little cocksucking boy.After teasing him with that big cock and balls, rode him like a barnyard slut in the toilet.Sissy boy got that number,that big fat cocked farmboy will need lots & lots of servicing.I hope he wont wear that hole out.

Wow, that was smokn hot.

Am really enjoying the servies thanks for sharing it with us, can’t wait for the opportunity to read the next .

Hot! But where's the first part?

Pleassse put chapter 1 back on. I’m really disappointed u took it off. I’m especially disappointed since u haven’t updated since 2017 that’s 2 years ago so u probably won’t see this but if u do. I’m desperate for the first chapter